Joy Joy Joy!....

As Brian and I sat on the couch on Christmas Eve, feeling rather exhausted and hyperventilating from blowing up all those balloons, only one thing kept coming to mind. "Yes Virginia, we did spend way too much money!" My attitude was that of an exhausted mother. I was tired from shopping, baking, cleaning and wrapping. I kept thinking of all the work I had done and how the next morning it would be destroyed within 30 minutes. I looked at the tree and all those gifts and realized the joy it was going to bring to my children. No, they wouldn't appreciate the hours of effort put into their Christmas bliss, but their happy, smiling faces would more than make up for it. I never appreciated the work that my parents did. It was all so magical on Christmas morning when we would emerge from our rooms to see airplanes hanging from the ceiling and balloons filling the room and that delicious aroma of fresh baked cinnamon rolls wafting from the kitchen. I appreciate it now! The gifts are wrapped, the balloons are filled and cinnamon rolls are in my oven.
Christmas is so special to me! And Christmas morning when I see these four faces it makes anything I had to go through 100% worth it....even overbidding on ebay!

Chinese Water Torture Would Be More Fun!....

I'm not sure what had gotten into me, but yesterday morning I decided to go Christmas shopping with all four kids in tow! You can probably imagine how my day went, but just in case you can't, let me give you a little glimpse.
It started off well enough. We were singing carols along with Bing and Beyonce and discussing what we thought Santa might bring us. Then it began....from the backseat...you know how it goes. He's touching me, she slapped me, somebody licked somebody! Licking I tell you....I'll give somebody a licking! I had to pull off of the interstate and make people switch seats! This was all before I had entered the crowded stores.
Our first stop should have been an easy one. I needed one item and knew exactly where it was. My plan was to use the "man strategy". You know...enter the store, hunt down the item, shoot it, and drag it home. This would have been successful had I been by myself! Instead, one child had to potty, two others would not leave the bikes alone, and the eldest decided to give me a lecture on why he thought the item I was trying to purchase was not the best choice. What should have been a five minute purchase turned into something closer to twenty minutes. Time was ticking away!!
Once we were safely back in the car and surrounded by chicken nuggets and leaky honey mustard containers, I had to make an important decision. Could I avoid the mall and still accomplish what I needed to? Normally the mall is my very best friend! (I heart it with almost as much love as I feel for shoe stores, but that's another post.)However, it's Christmas shopping season and I was accompanied by four children and a sinus headache! Anyhoo....on to the mall.
The mall was just as I expected it would be. Filled with other procrastinators, just like myself, trying to find those last minute gifts. I knew basically what I was looking for and so figured it wouldn't take too long! Ha! Apparently I had learned nothing from the last few hours! We trudged on, going from store to store hunting down the perfect gift. Only there were a few complications. More children had to potty. Of course this only happens when you are no where near the bathroom. Other children were thirsty and so was I, only the mall doesn't sell the kind of drink I was needing! No one had the one main item I was searching for and I was becoming more frustrated by the minute. Children were playing in the clothes racks. Why do they put those there? Why don't they just spread everything on the floor so I don't have to pull my monkeys from the racks of cashmere sweaters! Just a side note...if your child is in a stroller REJOICE! It may be a pain now but you'll wish you had it later!!
We managed to survive the mall and even located the unlocatable item. I still had one more stop to make and was using the "if you guys don't behave in this store you will be grounded forever and ever and probably be on Santa's naughty list!" I know I should try to be more patient, especially this time of year, but did I mention I had a headache!
We went to our last store and made our purchases. The kids weren't exactly nice, but weren't exactly naughty either. I didn't ground them forever. All in all the day was pretty normal. The kids were being kids (at christmas) and I had expectations that were a little too high. Next year I think I will go with my brother's idea. He said we should just buy everyone empty gift cards and let them fill it with the dollar amount that suits them! Brilliant!!

At Least I'm No Grinch!....

You Are a Tree

You love every part of the holidays, down to the candy canes and stockings. And you're goofy enough to put a Christmas tree ornament on your tree!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

Stuff n' Nonsense....

As anyone with eyes can see, blogging here has been nonexistent lately. I just haven't had anything to say. Those of you that know me well are now trying to pick your jaws up off the floor! I know it is shocking that I would have nothing to say, but it's the truth I'm afraid. It just seems that lately I've been in a funk. You know when life is normal and everything is pretty much as it should be, but you just can't explain your mood? That's where I'm at.
Anyhoo...I'll just share a few recent happenings in our house.
Brian and I went to VEGAS last weekend! It was a blast!! I wasn't sure what to expect, what with the whole "sin city" thing and all, but we loved it! (Not the sin, the city) There's so much there to do and see that you can hardly take it in. The downside was that I got very sick...some sort of inner ear thing triggered by air sickness we think....and we had to come home a day early. That's ok though, it was a wonderful time for the two of us and I can't wait to do it again! I mean how could you not want to go back to a place that has a buffet on every corner?!
I am not anywhere near done with my Christmas shopping. Matter of fact, I have only shopped for one day. This is overwhelming me and just plain freaking me out! Why is it that for the whole rest of the year I spend approximately 363 days shopping, but when it comes to Christmas I can only squeeze in 1 ? Frustrating I tell you!!!
We have a new puppy. This is something like having a newborn, but fluffier and with sharp teeth! He is an adorable cocker spaniel with big brown eyes and freckles on his nose. He also has that sweet puppy look that is constantly saying "no mommy, it really is ok if I chew the ornaments off the Christmas tree". So far we haven't had any major debacles with him, keep in mind though that we have only had him for 3 days. I'm expecting a catastrophe at any moment! And yes, you can call me "susie sunshine" since I have such a good attitude!
I guess that pretty much does it for all of my ramblings. Hopefully soon I will have something a little more exciting to say......of course that would probably mean there has been a major incident at our house so maybe I'll hope for a little more dullness!

Opposites Attack!....

"They" say that opposites attract. I don't know who "they" are, or how "they" got to know everything, but I'm just gonna go with it. Brian and I are opposites in a lot of ways, but I believe we have grown more similar over the years. There is one area however that can not and will not be compromised......FOOTBALL!!! Oh yes sireee, we are definitely opposites when it comes to our favorite sport! I am a Tennessee Volunteer and he is a .... well....um.....I'm embarrassed to say......Florida Gator. This means that in no way, shape, or form does he cheer for Tennessee. It means he cheers for everyone who plays them. Oh the agony I experience when writing those words! I do have to give him some credit. Since we have lived here he has tried to be somewhat supportive of the Big Orange. For example, a couple weeks ago, as we were sitting in the stands at Neyland Stadium for homecoming, he was wearing a Tennessee shirt! I am fairly certain he did this to avoid being mugged and maybe to get a better deal on parking, because half way through the game he was cheering for the other team! He can't help himself. Rocky Top does not excite him like it does me, and he doesn't think that Smoky is the cutest dog ever!!
Today we will be at yet another game. The Pride of the Southland Band will march onto the field and form the POWER T! It will be a moment so breathtaking that it will ....well.... take my breath away! The boys will take the field and play like there's no tomorrow and I will eat yummy snacks and sing Rocky Top at the top of my lungs along with 100,000 thousand other very smart people! It will be a glorious scene!! There will be one small blemish in all of that orange fabulousness....Brian. He will be sitting next to me, in a sea of orange, wearing black and cheering for Vanderbilt. I will recover from this eventually because we will ANNIHILATE them! They will be nothing but dust on the field when we are finished and Brian will have to leave the stadium with his head hanging in shame. I might rub it in just a little. I might sing Rocky Top all the way home. He just needs to remember...All's fair in love, war and college football! GO VOLS!!

Don't Judge the Candy By It's Cover....

Trick or Treating went very well for us this year! Four kids times 300 pounds of candy each....why that's 1200 pounds of sugary goodness that is now sitting on my kitchen counter! The kids all scored the usual stuff....Reese's, Lollipops, Nerds and even a couple granola bars which of course they gave to me....how generous. But there was one mysterious piece of candy that was troubling Josh. After examining its square shape and yellow wrapper with red lettering, he brought it to me and very disgustedly said, "I can't believe somebody gave me butter!" How precious is that?! I did contain my laughter long enough to tell him that it was in fact not butter, but yet another piece of future tooth decay. He was much relieved, and I went to my room to let loose a rip snorting, hoot fest so as not to make him feel bad! I'm such a good mom....now where'd they hide their Reese's?......

In Which Horomones and Pumpkin Guts Take Over....

A great family tradition involving sharp knives, permanent markers and lots of mess that we look forward to every year is pumpkin carving! What better way to spend time as a family than to stand in the dark on the driveway on the coldest night of the year and cut holes in vegetables? I mean who wouldn't want to join in the fun?! Pumpkin carving was so easy when the kids were little. We would cut a happy little face in their pumpkins after they had scooped out a few seeds and they would be so excited as they ran off to bed in their footy pajamas. NOT ANYMORE!!!

This years event involved a power saw, drill, knives, wailing and gnashing of teeth. Tyler's experience was pleasant enough. After all, he is 14 and knows everything, therefore needs no assistance with his giant squash. Josh also enjoyed the evening. What more could a 6 year old boy ask for than to throw pumpkin guts on his sisters while his daddy carves his pumpkin? And the girls......oh the girls......

First of all, Meghan is a perfectionist. This requires at least 30 minutes of scraping the inside of her pumpkin until all sides are equal, level and the same shade of orange. Then she spends the next 30 minutes or so deciding on the exact position of the lucky pumpkin's facial features. Finally she is willing to hand her pumpkin over to daddy to use his wonderful power tools on. (This is daddy's favorite part) The problem was daddy did not follow her specific instructions and made her pumpkin's eye the wrong shape! Let the cry fest begin....

Meanwhile, on planet hormone, Katy is diligently working on her pumpkin. Her frozen pumpkin. Apparently the poor orange orb had gotten a little frost bitten the night before and was not being very cooperative when it came to slicing it's eyes out. We couldn't cut it with the knife or the saw! Katy was becoming very upset because her pumpkin's eyelashes were not working the way she wanted. Daddy suggested that he could "start" the hole with the drill and then maybe she could finish it with the knife. She reluctantly agreed and daddy proceeded. What was heard next went something like this...."Daaaaaaadyyyyy, you ruuuuuiiiined it! The eye is toooo big! My WHOLE pumpkin is ruuuuiiiiined! You ruuuuiiiiin everything!" Keep in mind that this was very high pitched and loud enough for them to hear it in China! At this point poor daddy can't take it anymore and goes inside with the boys. This left me, with my own hormonal issues, to proceed with pumpkin rescue. I finally, somewhat forcefully, convinced the girls that if they wanted pumpkins we would do it my way or the highway! I did say it very sweetly though.

All in all the evening was mostly enjoyable. The pumpkins all got faces, the children ran up to bed in their pajamas without feet, and I had the pleasure of hosing off the driveway at 10:00 at night in the freezing cold. Gee, can't wait to do it again next year! Good times....good times....

Any Way You Slice Me....

It is no secret that I have wanted to shed a few pounds over the past couple of months. The good news is I have succeeded and am now back down to my mother of four, supermodelesque like figure. Ahem. That's right, it's amazing what a little activity and celery will do for the physique (not to mention the occasional piece of dark chocolate)!
Why am I sharing this you might ask....
Well, it's because of the amazing encouragement I received from my now eight year old daughter today. The scene was something like this....
I was sitting on the couch pulling my pants out from my waist and commenting that they were too big. "I could fit two of me in here", I said humorously to myself and the darling child sitting next to me. "Two of you?", she asked. "Well, maybe me plus an eighth of me" I said. Then very seriously she replied, "Wow, that would be a lot to carry". OH -YES- SHE -DID!
I don't know what she thinks an eighth is. The little rug rat hasn't even learned fractions yet! I mean how much could an eighth of me possibly be? A finger, a toe, ok maybe ten fingers and ten toes? Regardless....I think I could fit that much in my pants! That's the last time I announce to a small child, who looks like a zipper if she turns sideways and sticks out her tongue, how skinny I am!!

Happy Birthday!....

Today Meghan is 8! It seems so young and yet somehow old. Where have the last eight years gone? Just yesterday I couldn't get her to remove the pacifier from her mouth and today she wants to do her own hair and wear leopard prints!

Meghan is so many wonderful things to me and to our whole family..... sweet, loving, organized, and always prepared for disaster. We can count on her to be carrying extra change or a bandaid for anyone who needs it. She also has the special gift of keeping us abreast of the family goings on (some would call this tattling)! So many fabulous qualities in one so small!!

What a precious gift she is!! Happy Birthday Meggie Moo....we love you!

Kids Say the Darndest Things....

Josh, on climbing the rock wall at the playground: I need to go barefoot because my skin is not slippery!

Josh, after listening to the Pina Colada song: If you like enchiladas......

Meghan, very indignant about something her sister has said: Katy, that's prepostocy! (I'm assuming that's a cross between preposterous and hypocrisy.)

Katy, found out last night that she was going to be the ONLY angel in the Christmas play at church. When I asked her if music from heaven would be playing as she entered the room with profound holiness, without missing a beat she said: No, but there should be!

Tyler, while being forced against his will to listen to Hannah Montana for the bajillionth time: Where's a guillotine when you need one?!

The Hunt for Red Apples....

I love fall! It is my most favorite of the seasons! So many things happen that make you happy. The air turns cooler, or at least it's supposed to. The leaves change color, pumpkins, gourds and hay bales adorn yards and the MIGHTY VOLS play football! (Go Big Orange!) These are all fabulous signs of the season.
The beginning of fall also marks the time for our annual family trek to the apple orchard. When I say family trek that is exactly what I mean. It is a two hour trip, one way, usually involving a caravan of vehicles and several cell phones to keep in contact along the way. You'd think we were crossing the Sahara! This has become a much looked forward to family tradition! We all load up in our perspective cars and head out of town. I'm sure there is an orchard closer by, but what fun would that be? We drive over interstates and on country backroads through the mountains to reach our destination. Our "apple time" begins with lunch at the wonderful on site restaurant. We eat our fill of fritters and fried chicken then we go apple shopping! Pickins' were a little slim this year because of the drought, but we did manage to load our cars with apples, jellies, gourds, mini-pumpkins and a couple of bags of candy!
It seems like a long ride for short shopping, but I don't mind. This year our cars were filled with not only apples, but four generations of family, and I think that's pretty special!

I'll Take Mine Well Done Please....

So recently, as I have been counting calories and exercising until I think I will have a stroke, I have been paying very close attention to all the news on dark chocolate. This is ground breaking people! Do you realize that we now have an excuse to eat chocolate and say that it's healthy?! FABULOUS I tell you! I have always thought that chocolate should be considered a vegetable since it originally comes from a plant, but no one important wants to listen to me...go figure.

This has made my trips to the grocery store so much more fulfilling. Apparently, the stores figured out that this would mean big bucks for them, so they started putting bags, yes bags, of dark chocolate at the checkout counter. How convenient! Now I, being very concerned about my health and all, purchased a bag of healthy chocolate the other day. I carefully carried it to the car and after turning on the air so it wouldn't melt, I painstakingly unwrapped one small square. I inhaled the sweet aroma, and was just about to place it on my tongue to slowly melt away when what from the backseat do I hear? One of those annoying precious kids asking for a piece. Can you believe that? Meghan had the nerve to ask me to share my chocolate! Because I am such a wonderful mother, as I have said many times before, I passed a square of pure delight back to her. I could hear the wrapper being ripped from the sweet decadence, and then horror. "I don't like it, it tastes funny." Can you believe this? Fortunately she had only tasted one small corner so I did what any half insane self respecting mother of four would do. I took it from her grubby little hand, rewrapped it and put it back in the bag to eat later myself! Whew! All was not lost!

After savoring my own piece and dropping a few pounds, I asked Meghan why she didn't like it. Her reply; "I only like medium chocolate." Well that's great! More well done chocolate for me!

Things That Make You Go...I Just Really Can't Begin To Speculate!....

There are many things in this world that can fascinate or even puzzle us. For instance, the "Seven Wonders of the World", the ingredients in hot dogs, do these shoes go with this outfit or should I buy new ones? These are all very important questions.
Josh asked an important question of his own as our "host" was seating us at a local restaurant the other night. "Is that a boy or a girl?" Oh yes he did! And yes it was within earshot of our friendly host, ie. the person in question. (6 year old boys never ask quiet questions)
I could feel the blood draining from my face! Did "he" hear? Would "he" be mad? Does "he" look that way on purpose? All these questions were racing through my mind. And as for my response to little Joshy, what was I supposed to say, I didn't know either! I told him "it's a boy". I was not completely confident that this was the correct assumption to make, however "he" had facial hair.
As you can imagine, I spent the rest of my dinner experience trying to figure out...boy, or girl? First of all it was the voice. Not quite feminine not quite masculine. I realize you can't judge a person by the depth of their voice, but it would have been a smidge helpful. Next came the shape. There wasn't one. Not a hint of anything girly, if you know what I mean. Of course there were also several piercings. Now don't get me wrong, I am a fan of some piercings, I even have some of my own, one in each ear! These piercings were not of the cool nature though, they were downright strange! Anyway, after gorging on BBQ, I always eat more when I'm deep in thought, I was finally redeemed when I heard him introduce himself at the next table as Matthew. What a relief! Matthew, that's a good, strong, biblical name that a man can be proud of!
Part of me hopes that Matthew heard little Josh's question. Not to embarrass him, but to send the message that maybe he should choose a gender and stick with it...if not for his own sake, then for the sake of all the mothers of loud six year olds who aren't afraid to ask questions!

Demolition Derby....

What's a girl to do when she feels her space isn't flowing properly? Ask her husband to knock down a wall of course! Now mind you that her husband may not be too keen on the idea at first, something about money and rerouting duct work. But as soon as he knocked that first hole in the wall to "see what was there", he was hooked! The most excitement came when the kids realized that they could punch, kick or baseball bat the wall down. This kind of stuff doesn't happen everyday at our house! An offense like that will usually get you a good spanking or grounded for the next century, but not this time....BATTER UP!!

In a house that you didn't build yourself, you can never be too sure what will be underneath when you start yanking down important structural items. We were fairly lucky. We will have to reroute duct work and build a facade to make things look symmetrical, but other than that it will be fabulous! The space is now completely opened up and flooded with light, and since the floors are a little uneven, we agreed we will need to redo them also! I'm so excited!!

Maybe we could start a side business: Homeschool Demolition and Destruction Services; you build it we tear it down!

I Promise it's the Last One!....

Today marks the end of the August Birthday Bazaar at our house! Of course it couldn't be the end without having one final celebration right? So Happy Birthday Brian!! I'm so glad that we get to celebrate your getting older (36 in case you were wondering)! It's fabulous that you will always be older than me, and that your hair is turning gray first! We love you and hope that your birthday is extra super spectacular.....even though you have to work!! Happy Birthday!!!!!

Are We All In This Together?....

High School Musical, it's the stuff dreams are made of! Unless you are in your 80's or have been living in a cave on a deserted island you know about this fabulous Disney work! It's everywhere...we can't get away from it. Walmart sells it, the mall is loaded with it even the local jiffy store has candy with Troy Bolton's picture on it. What is this world coming to? Now because I have two young girls in my house we are forced to watch anything remotely related to the High School Musical craze, we even have the karaoke CD! What I want to know most is where do you find this kind of high school....I might stop homeschooling my kids if I knew they could have perfect skin, perfect clothes and break into perfectly choreographed song and dance in the middle of chemistry class! How fabulous would that be?! I don't remember this from my days at Lake Weir High! I have always considered myself mostly perfect, but the song and dance part would have been "OFF THE HOOK"!!
So when will this craze end? Is there going to be a third installment of SharPey's antics and will my kids stuffed animals be forever named Gabriella and Troy? And more importantly, who names their kid SharPey...isn't that a scrunchy faced chinese dog? We are waiting on pins and needles for answers to these all important questions! In the meantime I have discovered that spelling words are written with a little more enthusiasm with a pink pencil covered with the Wildcats emblem!

Baby Boy....

Another birthday celebration is on the schedule for today! Josh turns 6 today and lets just say I'm not as excited about it as he is! That may seem terrible for a mother to say, but I can't help it. When I look at him, I see my baby boy....the last of my offspring and I want him to stay that way. Oh I know he will always be the baby, but it's not the same when they are older. Just last night as we were eating dinner he referred to himself as a man. I must admit it was very cute, but also made me realize that he is growing up. Josh keeps me laughing....all the time! From putting fish in inappropriate places to giving daily rock concerts (he has another one planned for his birthday party) there is always something exciting happening in his life! He is animated, passionate, impulsive and adorable! The joy he brings to our family is indescribable! This is the child who spends hours coming up with elaborate traps for wild animals that might venture into his room, and then tells me he couldn't possibly clean it up because it's his army base. He's very creative in his avoiding chores and he frequently gets away with it by flashing his dimples! His laugh is infectious and there's no way you can avoid smiling when you hear it. He is a priceless gift to our family and we love him dearly! Happy Birthday baby boy...as you would say "I think you're better than a pickle on a stick!"

This and That....

Blogging has been slow here lately. There just hasn't been much to say. I think the bajillion degree heat has just gotten to me! I don't feel like doing much of anything. Of course this can be a problem if you are the mother of four children who always feel like doing something!
This past week has been busy as usual despite my lazy feeling. Meghan and Josh went camping for a week with Nana. Camping with Nana is always an adventure and the kids look forward to it with major excitement! Nana is fun! She leads them on adventures that I would shake my head at. They spend hours in the creek catching salamanders and crawfish and building little slides to ride down on their tubes. They go in search of wildlife. I think they saw 7 bears, a whole bunch of deer and some really cool owls! When they get tired of the creek they go to the dollar store where there is all manner of high quality toys available for purchase and yes, Nana is very accommodating! The best thing about this is the memories they are creating together! One day the kids are going to look back and remember this as one of the best times of their lives! I'm so grateful that they have a Nana who loves them deeply and wants to spend time with them. That kind of commitment to family is irreplaceable. I never have to worry when they are with her. I know that she takes perfect care of them and always does what is best for them, like giving them doughnuts for breakfast only after they have finished all of their Fruit Loops!
What were the rest of us doing while those two were off adventuring in the wilderness? School! It's that time of year again and we got some serious studying in. It was nice to be able to focus on two at a time. Of course the week wasn't all work and no play. Katy and I did manage to fit in a pedicure and Tyler hung out with the youth group at Splash Country, but other than that it was all work....I promise!

How Do I Love Thee?....

Today is Brian and I's 15th Anniversary! Seems so very hard to believe! There have been times when I wasn't sure we would make it this far, but we have definitely been blessed! I love you honey.....Happy Anniversary!

Another One....

Dear Tyler,

Today is your 14th birthday! Where have the years gone? What a privilege it is to be your mother! It is such a joy to watch you grow into the man you are becoming! My heart is so full of love for you that it would very likely burst open if it could! You mean so much to us! I love to watch you think and create. I love it when you know things that I don't and how you act like it's no big deal! I love the way you look like your father! I love the way you care for your siblings even though at times you would like to strangle them! I love that you aren't too cool to hug me or kiss me in front of your peers! I love your spirit! You are handsome, caring and articulate. You possess so many qualities that a mother dreams her child will have.

I can't wait for the next 14 years! I can't wait to see you become an adult, to finish your education and to launch yourself into the future! I am so proud of you!

Happy Birthday!

All Fishes Go to Heaven....

Tragedy struck our house today. Josh's "famous" fish went to live in the big toothbrush holder in the sky. We aren't sure how this happened, one minute he was swimming in his little bowl and the next.....well he wasn't. Normally I would suggest that we flush a dead fish, but this was so traumatic that we actually needed a fishy funeral. So Tyler took Josh outside and they gave the fish a semi-permanent resting place in the flower bed. I say semi-permanent because Josh keeps digging up his fish to show it to unsuspecting mourners. I know it seems rather morbid, but I guess when you are five the attention you get from showing off your dead fish to anyone who can stomach it is better than shedding tears of sorrow over your bereaved pet. One day I'm sure he will learn to properly grieve; until then beware the kid with the shovel scrounging around in the backyard!

K K K Katy, Beautiful Katy....

Today is Katy's 11th birthday! And thus begins the August birthday bazaar at our house!
It does not seem possible for her to be 11 already. Sometimes it feels like they just handed her to me and othertimes it feels like she's been here forever! Katy has brought so much spice into our lives. She is "super fun funky fresh" as I like to tell her! I remember when they did hand her to me and we immediately dubbed her "Katy Bug". She was so tiny with giant eyeballs and the nickname just seemed to fit! My sister thought she needed a little help getting started, so in her Sunday School class she asked for prayer that Katy's bottom would grow. One day she will probably be blamed for Katy's figure problems! Her size didn't stop her from getting what she wanted.... that's for sure! That girl has her some powerful lungs even to this day!
I can't imagine what our lives would be like without Katy! She has so much personality and spunk and brings us so much joy!

K is for Kingdom (the one we figure she will be running one day)
A is for Accepting (she is always accepting of others, regardless of their differences)
T is for Terrific (I totally think she is)
Y is for Youthful (something I hope she always stays)

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl! I love you!....

leave a comment wishing Katy a happy b-day...she would love it........

Mmm, Mmm, Good!....

Children have such great insights into the little details of life. Today I fixed Josh and myself a tuna fish sandwich. Josh, being the sweet brother that he is, asked Meghan if she would like one. Meghan quickly informed him that she did not like tuna! Josh then replied with much wisdom and seriousness, "Why not? It's just dead fish!"
My lunch isn't looking so appetizing anymore, but the chuckle I got out of the conversation more than makes up for it!

Busy, Busy, Busy....

My life is a whirlwind of activity lately! It seems that everytime I think it's slowing down something new pops up. I'm sure everyone out there can relate! Our weekend was crazy busy! On Saturday I went to a conference in Nashville. It was a training conference for a new business I want to get into. I'll tell you more about that when it's official. But what was supposed to be a day that was finished by 3:30 or so lasted until 6:30...or so. This was due to running out of gas on the side of the interstate. Funny huh?! Just know that I was not the one driving.
Sunday of course is always busy with church and family. We were so excited to have our dear friends Walter and Carole come for lunch. We hadn't seen them in quite a while.
I was thinking I could take today and just veg, but then I was pulled out of my alternate universe by the pitter patter of little feet running in my room this morning and jumping on my bladder and telling me he wanted breakfast. Why do they always aim for the bladder? It's like some kind of radar! Anyway, no vegging for me except for the 200 servings a day I need to eat to attempt to stay skinny. (I realize that implies that I am already skinny...it's a new form of motivation I'm trying...see yourself skinny!)
We have two children with birthdays this week. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's actually kind of depressing that I am old enough to have these people in my house. Where did they come from and when did they get so sassy? Next week we will have our 15th anniversary! This is also very hard to believe!! The next week we have one more child birthday and one husband birthday. (I know, I only have one husband but I'm going with a theme here) Needless to say August is a busy month in which we have no leftover time or money!! Oh well....at least I'll be skinny!.........

Please Let Today Be Better....

Yesterday was one of those days. You know, the kind of day when you realize shortly after you get out of bed that you probably should have just stayed there. It started off with our dogs wreaking havoc in their kennel. I will spare you the disgusting details just know it involved a ton of lysol! This "havoc" required that one animal be banished to the great outdoors and the other needed to be shaved and bathed. (She needed a haircut anyway, but that is beside the point) So after an hour of buzzing razors and sudsy fun she was clean, sparkly and smelled oh so sweet. Then she proceeded to go down the stairs, stop half way, get sick and continue on like nothing ever happened. Again, no disgusting details, but this time it required the carpet shampooer and that's all I'll say! At this point I am wondering if I even want to continue living when I walk into my laundry room to find my washer leaking all over the floor. Are you feeling my pain yet? I mean what was going on here? Was this some kind of test of my character, cause I gotta tell ya, I was failing!!
moving on...
So after cleaning all of that stuff up, we settled into some school work we needed to catch up on. Then what to my wondering eyes doth appear? Algebraic equations involving parallelograms and coordinates on a plane. Why don't they just call them squares and dots? I mean really...do you ever go around saying "oh look, the shoe store is in the shape of a parallelogram"? I think not.
Here's another question. Why do small children want to ride their bikes around the neighborhood if they are going to require you to push them up the hills and hold them going down the hills so they don't go to fast? I think it's some sort of unspoken conspiracy on the part of preschoolers to torture tired and dog poop covered mothers!
I have to go eat some chocolate now. I'm stressed out just thinking about what today may bring...

Thank You Mr. Advertising!....

My girls were having a discussion in the car yesterday over what they wanted for their birthdays. They crack me up when they do this because if they think it's something a little too pricey for mom and dad to purchase they resign themselves to "saving up for it". (Even if it is a gazillion dollars) Now given the fact that they are currently 10 and 7, their incomes are not that colossal! Katy wants one of those "I have to have it, it is my favorite thing in the whole wide universe and all my friends have one" items. She saw one online but doesn't want to have to pay shipping (yet fully expects me to!). They were discussing and asking Brian and I where else might carry this particular thing. We suggested several stores and gave them an idea of what it might cost. Then, without missing a beat, Meghan pipes up and says "I think we should just check Walmart. They sell for less." I don't know whether to be grateful to Walmart or throw a rock at my TV. At least they know how to shop for a bargain! Way to go girls...you warm your mama's heart!

Comfort and Joy....

Mary over at Owl Haven is hosting a carnival about memories of your childhood home. Go check it out for some really sweet reads!
When I think about my childhood home there isn't one particular place that comes to mind. We had a couple different homes as I was growing up and each of them holds some unique memories. There was the house on 43rd Ave where we left the sprinklers on all night on Christmas Eve so that the yard would be covered in ice when we woke up the next morning. (This was a pretty exciting thing for a FL girl seeing that a freeze was not necessarily a yearly event) There was the year I was twelve and we lived on the lake. I spent my days barefoot and fishing and watching out for alligators so I wouldn't be taken to the murky depths in their very unpleasant jaws! Then the house on 41 Ct. where Granny lived next door and I learned to drive the mower. (I only did this once or twice so I don't think my parents had alot of faith in me)
All of these houses hold special memories for me, but when I think about why, I realize it's because that is where my family was; in particular it's where my parents were. My mom and dad were a solid rock in my sometimes roller coasterish life. Wherever they were was home! There is something still so comforting about walking into my parents house. Even now as an adult with my own home and family I feel enveloped in love just walking through their door. My dad is no longer with us, but I can still feel his presence there. The pictures and knick knacks that I grew up with are still scattered about and their bed is still the most comfortable in the world! We all have since moved from FL. We still live in the same town though and whenever one of us needs to slip back home for a little comfort and joy mom and dad's house is where we find it.....

Definitions from a 5 Year Old....

Crooksided: the event in which something is crooked and lopsided at the same time
So far we have had crooksided flip flops, underwear and cookies! I just love childhood!!

House Check!....

In my constant quest for a clutter free home I have had to devise some pretty interesting cleaning tactics. The "clean up" song from Barney used to work well, but for some odd reason my children have grown tired of it! So when the house is looking like a tornado came through, I simply yell two words....HOUSE CHECK! When I say this, the kids know it's time to scramble and get things put away. Often I will try to make it into a game by timing them or offering a reward for who "checked" the most. Other times I will assign each child an area of the house to house check in. This has been a fairly reliable way of getting those wayward toys, socks and other childhood paraphernalia back to their own spots. The kids like it (mostly) and I am not having to hover over them insisting that the little Lego guy does need to join the rest of his block family or that yes, Polly Pocket would be more comfortable if she were wearing her rubber dress!

For more Works-For-Me-Wednesday tips, visit Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer!

Sticks and Stones....

So yesterday, I was helping my friend run some errands. She is a new mom and is still trying to recover from the "birthing experience". I of course jumped at the chance to help her, after all someone needed to hold the baby. I call it my baby holding ministry!

Anyhoo...

As we're standing in the checkout line at Walmart, the cashier looks at me with the little bundle in my arms and says "Is this your first grandchild?" Gasp, sputter, cough, nearly drop the baby! Thankfully before I could say anything that would land me in jail witty, my friend jumped to my rescue, as did the woman behind us in line. The problem is now the damage is done. Look at my picture people! I'm 33 years old and apparently look like I'm 50 or 60 or 300! Surely there must be something wrong with this woman's eyes! Maybe she has cataracts or her glasses were foggy or she had the Ebola virus as a child and it caused her to become the wicked witch of the west have clouded judgement. I don't know what her issues are but now I certainly have some! First thing this morning I have to call and make an appointment for Botox, possibly get some nipping and tucking done and run to Home Depot for a five gallon bucket of spackle for my face! Then I will need to see a therapist!!

I hope that cashier will forever be haunted by the "young lady" in her checkout line that will now be emotionally scarred for life because of her obviously ridiculous comment! Maybe next time she'll just ask me if I'm pregnant!

Well I'm off to Home Depot, they're having a sale on spackle........

LET ME IN!!!....

Home Owners Associations! It's a love hate relationship for most people, I'm just wanting the chance to love or hate them! In our new neighborhood we have a pool, boat dock, ball field, playground and tennis courts. I know, just call Lifestyles of the Fabulously Ghetto Sheik! We are dying to take advantage of some of these things, however there have been some obstacles. First of all, the "person in charge" has his house for sale and apparently has flown the coop. For some reason he is still "in charge" but you can't actually get ahold of him. The number two man is very sweet and would love to take our money, but has no keys to give us right now. I don't know if there's a number three person, but somebody just go unlock the gate!! We're sweating here and have to drive by a nice pool with lounge chairs that I know were put there especially for me, and we can't get in. And what if I needed the boat dock? I realize I do not have a boat, but perhaps Brian will surprise me and bring one home with him today and we won't be able to use it and it will just sit in our driveway looking all shiny and speckled in the sun and the kids will climb on it and break stuff before we even get to use it and this has got to be the longest run-on sentence ever!! I know you can all feel my frustration over this and if you can't, well then I'm not inviting you over to look at my shiny (pretend) boat or swim in my pool with the locked gate! So as of right now I will continue to call the disconnected number of man number one hoping that maybe he moved back and I will beg man number two to go make a key, maybe if I take my hot sweaty children down to his house he will be more sympathetic! I'm sure eventually we will get a key. By that time it will be winter, the pool will be filled with chunks of ice, the lake will be drained thanks to the TVA and their "conservation" efforts and some smart new "person in charge" will go change the lock! Optimistic I am not.

Dog Whisperer....

Yesterday, as we were taking a little jaunt around the block, this cute little rat on acid..ur I mean chihuahua type dog started barking at us. Obviously, as all well behaved children who want their neighbors to think highly of them do, Josh started barking back. I told him to stop and that he shouldn't aggravate the dog any further. He then said, with his most matter of fact five year old wisdom, "It's okay mommy, I speak dog!" Who knew? Does this mean that he will soon have his own series on Animal Planet? Or maybe he will be traveling around the world doing motivational speaking to neighbors of irritating dogs teaching them better ways to communicate! Of course as all good parents do, I am wondering how we can use this special talent to pay for his college!

In Which We Need an Exorcist....

It's something you can sense coming. You feel it rising up from the bowels of h*ll. Then suddenly, right there in your own living room, it erupts into a full fledged war! That's right I'm talking about sibling rivalry! I would call it a cat fight but since these girls are related I'll be nice! Why is it that they can't just agree to enjoy the same TV show? Why must they be screaming while their heads spin around and fire shoots out of their eyes ? It's Alice in Wonderland for Pete's sake! You know that sweet film where she eats a magic mushroom and flowers start to sing?......maybe I should be concerned. (Just say NO to magic mushrooms girls.) Apparently, Katy has been waiting "forever" for this movie to come on. I'm confused about this because I'm pretty sure it's been on several times. More than likely she decided it was her "favorite movie" because Meghan said she didn't like Allyson Wonderland (yes just like that). And it is not a good idea to disagree with Katy these days. Can you say preteen hormones? This child once told me she had venomous in her bones! Would you want to get on her bad side? I think not! So I, in my infinite motherly wisdom, told them to knock off the fighting and that Alice in Wonderland was a perfectly good movie for both of them to enjoy! Except now that nails have retracted, and the fire extinguisher has been put away, I have realized that there is a singing, smoking, caterpillar on my TV. Maybe Meghan had the right idea!

Happy Fourth!....

God Bless America! I hope everyone has a great hot dog eatin', fireworks watchin', good ole fashioned Fourth of July!

Rescued!....

What do you do when you have two sick children with two doctors appointments at two different doctors in two different towns......scheduled at the same time?!?? You call your mom of course! Some people say it takes a village to raise a child, I think it just takes a mom, a dad and a really awesome NANA! Thanks mom!

What Were We Thinking?....

After a long day of "Egyptian plagues" (see below), we decided to go to the home improvement store with our four children in tow. You can already see where this is going can't you? Now normally I enjoy doing this because it usually means something is getting...well, improved! But last night was different. For starters, it was 8:00 pm, I know just shoot me right? Two members of our young brood were not feeling well and the other two were doing their usual poking and picking at each other. This made for an irritated set of parents before we even got through the front door! The conversation inside went something like this; Brian: I need to go to lumber. Josh: Can we ride in a car cart? Brian: no. Tyler: I need to look at paint. Katy: I'm going to "help" Tyler look at paint. Me: No, you are coming with us. Brian: We need a square round, and some corner thingys and this that and blah blah blah. (not exactly, but that's what I heard) Josh: This stick is a great sword! Me: Josh put that down it's not a weapon! Josh: I have to go potty. Me: Tyler take Josh to the bathroom. Katy, with a special glint in her eye: I have to go too. Me: Tyler take your sister too and wait for her. Brian: blah, blah blah. Meghan: I think I have a fever (said with much drama). By this time I am frazzled and Brian is in his " project zone". Next thing I know, Katy comes running down the aisle with both brothers chasing her, she slides into the cart and erupts in tears as her brothers slip and fall on top of her. Me: Get up! This is a store not a playground! Katy are you ok? Just stand here and don't move! Brian: This is ridiculous, I've had enough! Enough of what? Sticks and blah, blah?! Me, in a somewhat unpleasant tone: We need to go! Brian, looking rather red faced: grunt, let's go I'll come get the blah, blah,blah tomorrow! So, we all happily exit the store and load into the van. Josh, spotting a fireworks tent: Can, we stop and get some sparklers and bombs?.........

Pharaoh Would Not Be Happy....

So here's my question. Why wasn't removing wallpaper one of the plagues on Egypt? Yes, I realize it wasn't invented yet but that is beside the point! I mean if you really wanted to convince someone to "let my people go" maybe you should consider this punishment. Moses could have thrown down his staff and Pharaoh's palace could have been instantly covered in flowered wallpaper that is at least 20 years old...you know the kind that your 80 year old grandmother (who suffers from dementia, bless her heart) thinks is "pretty". Then the Egyptians could have been forced to remove it without the help of the Israelites! Ha! That will teach them to enslave God's people! It would be even better if after stripping one layer they discovered another layer of even older, uglier paper. Can you tell what I've been dealing with here people? Don't get me wrong there are some instances when wallpaper can be very attractive, however the stuff in my new house is...well it's just not! I mean what were the previous owners thinking? "Oooh, look at all the pretty pink flowers, let's glue them to the wall!"
At least it's temporary. I know that within the next century I will get all the wallpaper down and have nice, clean, neutrally painted walls. I have to wonder though.....what does God think when He looks at us power seeking, money hungry, Americans who have taken our eyes off of Him? Wallpaper plague? I pray not!

5 Questions....

Shannon over at Rocks in My Dryer has a fun meme going, so I thought I'd play along!



1. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life what would it be?
I would have to say Peanut Butter...it's nutritious and comes in two varieties, Creamy and Crunchy. Although if I knew how long the rest of my life was actually going to be I might choose something else =)

2. What's the most nerve-racking "'close call" you've ever had?
At the risk of being labeled a bad parent, I would have to say almost leaving Katy at a restaurant while we were on vacation. I know, I know, awful isn't it? She recovered fine, but it still haunts me and I do a much more thorough head count now!

3. Name the five features your ultimate dream house would have.
1. a HUGE front porch 2. A fully loaded kitchen 3. At least 100 acres 4. Chickens 5. A padded room for me to escape to!

4. Who has been the most influential non-relative in your life?
This is a tough one! Most of my influences have been family, but I guess I would have to say my friend Allyson. She has always been there to give it to me straight, or help pick up the pieces when I've been crooked.

5. What one non-physical feature would you most like to change about yourself?
I would have to say my sometimes pessimistic attitude. I tend to be negative, but I want to be positive!

The Hairless Epidemic....

We have a Golden Retriever that we affectionately call "Ginger". She is a big overstuffed heap of lovin' and we adore her. However, Ginger does have one teeny tiny fault....ok super huge fault (I was trying to be nice). She has allergies. Yes folks you read that correctly, a dog with allergies! Every summer like clockwork her hair starts falling out and she gets all red skinned and itchy. This makes her look like some mangy lab experiment gone wrong! It is truly pitiful to watch. The cure for this of course is a very hefty vet bill involving steroid shots ( just call her Arnold) antibiotics and fancy shmancy medicated shampoo that smells like rotten eggs! Well this year I beat the issue to the punch! At the first sign of impending baldness I had her shaved and brought her inside! Genius I tell you! So now instead of the bad lab experiment she looks like a lion that had a scary run-in with a demon possessed barber! At least now there is nothing for the allergy to "attack" and hopefully we won't have to wash her with bad smelling farm products! It's times like these when I just have to ask it.........Why me?

Sweet Reminiscing....

Yesterday, some dear friends of ours welcomed their first child into the world. A baby boy, weighing 7 pounds 3 ounces, is now the light of their lives. This is exactly what Tyler weighed when he was born, and of course I started thinking back to when he was first placed in my arms. Sometimes it seems so long ago and sometimes like it was yesterday. Where have the last (almost) 14 years gone?
He has grown up obviously, but some things are still the same. He still has a certain smell. It's not a blend of Dreft and that sweet baby's breath that reminds you of sugar cookies anymore, now it's a more manly smell like too much body spray and a hint of dirty socks. He still has those ice blue eyes that have always melted my heart and will eventually melt others I'm sure. He still loves Jesus, although somewhere along the way he learned to pronounce his J's and doesn't call him Wesus anymore. He's more cool now but this hasn't stopped him from hugging me or telling me he loves me yet. I hope it doesn't. And every once in a while, when no one else is around, he'll snuggle up with me and twirl my hair like he used to as a toddler. Yes, my baby boy, my firstborn, is growing into a man. This is happening faster than I would like, but seeing him mature is also a wonderful thing. And someday, God willing, a child will be placed in his arms, and his breath will be taken away by the overwhelming love he feels for that precious bundle that will someday outgrow him.

Josh on Spider Repellant....

"Mommy, if we paint our new playground with something shiny, then it will blind the spiders and they won't crawl on it."
The brilliance of this child astounds me! I can see the little pests now with their sunglasses and walking sticks trying to find their way to our backyard. By the way, how many walking sticks would a blind spider need? Hmmm.....something to ponder.

Good Education....

As a homeschooler and just all around good parent who is concerned about my children's education and upbringing, I am always on the look out for books with some good moral fiber. I borrowed this list from DeeDee over at It Coulda Been Worse (check her out at http://fiddledeedee.net/ ) I'm still chuckling over the titles so I thought I'd share them with you!

Children's Books to Avoid

1. You're Different-And That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
3. Robert: Dad's New Wife
4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5. The Kids Guide to Hitchhiking
6. Kathy Was So Bad that Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
7. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
8. All Cats Go to Hell
9. The Little Sissy that Snitched
10. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
11. Grandpa Gets a Casket
12. Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
13. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
14. Strangers Have the Best Candy
15. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
16. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
17. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
18. Your Nightmares are Real
19. You've Got Hepatitis B, Charlie Brown
20. Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things from Your Nose

Well I'm off to the library now!

What Happened to that Fish?....

Well, several of you have asked for the fish story so here goes... One happy, sunny day, not to long ago, Josh acquired a fish from his sister for the bargain price of 25 cents. He was very proud of his new found responsibility, and he thought he should clean the fish bowl. So, as I was talking on the phone, Josh came and asked me where the net and extra bowl were. Of course because I am such a wonderful mother I told him to wait a minute and shooed him away. Time passed. I'm not really sure how much time because frankly I forgot he had even asked me! The next thing I know his big sister Meghan, who has the special gift of reporting (or as some people like to call it, tattling), comes running down the stairs to inform me that Josh put his fish in the toothbrush holder! Apparently he had grown tired of waiting on me and decided to take the matter into his own hands. I thought this was a stroke of genius on his part, and was trying to contain my laughter! What fabulous problem solving skills...he must be homeschooled! Meghan did not think this was funny and was actually rather disgusted, and don't even get me started on big sister Katy's reaction when she realized that her toothbrush was still in the holder with the fish! It was quite an exciting event. Needless to say the fish survived and has a clean bowl, Meghan got over her disgust and Katy got a new toothbrush out of the deal. Josh has learned that the toothbrush holder is probably not the safest place to put his fish and I had another lesson in paying attention!
So there it is, the story behind the title of this blog. It just seemed like a perfect fit for our family considering that these types of incidents are rather normal occurrences around here.
p.s. we also replaced the toothbrush holder =)

Clear the Streets....

Watch out for this guy the next time you're on the street! Josh learned to ride a two wheeler today! It's bittersweet for me....so happy to see him learn....so sad to see him grow up so quickly.

The Messies....

I have finally come to the realization, after almost 14 years of parenting, that children just don't care what their rooms look like. Oh, I imagine in some tiny corner of the world there is at least one who likes neatness, but they probably are one of those child prodigies who could do mental calculus in the newborn nursery! My children like messiness. For instance, it doesn't bother my 13 year old son that his room smells like a combination of stale food and locker room. My girls think that having a band aid collection hanging on the wall is normal and of course the baby boy of the family is ok with having his toys, clean clothes and dirty clothes all in one container.
How do I feel about all of this you might ask. Well I'll tell ya......it drives me nuts!!!!! I tell them to clean their rooms but that causes other problems because they "discover" things. A chunk of concrete from the church parking lot that is priceless in value, or the snack wrapper with the special online code to win a trip for you and a gazillion friends to go to Disney World. These are the treasures that must be kept no matter how much penicillin is being cultivated on them. So in the end I just resign myself to pretending that there was some kind of nuclear explosion involving Toys R Us and a cake factory behind those doors (which now will remain closed)!

Are We There Yet?....

Vacation Bible School. Those three little words bring back such fond memories from my childhood! Memories of macaroni necklaces, koolaid and butter cookies with a hole in the middle, and singing Jesus Loves Me until I thought I would pass out. Those are the things that made me look forward to this wondrous event every summer. Then came the days when my own children could also experience the joys of VBS (or as I now affectionately call it "the week of Very Bad Sleep").
I am waiting for the Vacation part to start! Who exactly is going on this vacation and when will we get there? Somewhere along the way I went from Yeah! VBS! to uhhhhh, who are these masses of children with their sweaty faces covered in craft glue? Are these the vacationers? Don't they have chaperones? But then something happens. Those sweaty, gluey, children look up at you with their toothless smiles and tell you how much fun they are having and all the neat things they are learning (like how to wash off fake leprosy) and you realize what you are there for. I can't think of a better vacation than that!

Danger in the Bathroom.....

What is a mother to do when she is sitting in her bathroom minding her own "business" and a small voice from the other side of the door says in a rather panicked tone..."mommy, you didn't sit on my imaginary friend did you?".
How was I supposed to know he was in there? After all he's not in my imagination.
Oh the guilt!!!!!!!

Working up to it....

You know how sometimes you have to work up to something big, something so spectacular that it takes months of deliberating and second guessing yourself before you finally decide you should just go for it? Well folks that day has arrived! My "go for it day" is here! That's right...... (drumroll please)...I'm a blogger! Oh please, try to contain yourselves, you don't have to applaud, you're making me blush.
So I will be looking forward to keeping you all abreast of the happenings in our lives, and I know you will all be looking forward to hearing about how the dog got locked in the pantry, why mustard should not be considered as finger paint and what happened to the fish that was put in the toothbrush holder!