If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you know that I get a good deal of my material from Josh. It's not that I'm exploiting him, it's just that he's so dang funny!
For instance, a couple weeks ago, he was wanting a glass of orange juice. I went to the fridge to fix it for him and he stopped me with a concerned look on his face. "It's not the kind with pus in it, is it mom?" Pus!? In orange juice!? I was a little shocked and grossed out until I figured out that he was talking about pulp! Pus, pulp, same thing right?
Last night, as I was tucking him into bed, he asked me if we had any super glue in the house. Now, when a seven year old boy asks you for super glue, many alarms, loud bells, flashing red lights and other warning signs flash before your eyes! No good could possibly come from giving him super glue! I calmly asked him what he needed it for. He proceeded to explain to me how every night while he is sleeping his pillow falls off of his bed, the obvious solution to this problem was to super glue it down! Ofcourse! Why didn't I think of that?!
So here's to Josh...the provider of all good blog fodder!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I Wish I Knew Her Name...
Her lonely face swept through my dreams last night. This girl was still so young but seemed to have no feeling. How could a child become so hardened and indifferent? After all, we were there with tons of toys, games, and gifts of all kinds. Any child would be excited and anxious to receive what were offering. Not this child.
Yesterday, as our large chartered bus drove into the small Kentucky town, I knew that my life was about to change. The houses were old, and battered. The creek was garbage lined. The school that was "our mission" was at the end of a long road. It was a small building that had a peculiar smell as we entered. Inside this building were 400 children waiting for our arrival. For many of them, this would be the only Christmas they would experience.
As the bleachers of the gym became filled with smiling faces and buzzing voices became louder, my heart became larger and heavier. How sad, I thought, to have a room filled with impoverished children. What must their lives be like? Do they have enough to eat? Are they warm at night while they sleep?
Children were assigned to all of us that had come to help. As this girl approached me, I was rehearsing what I would say to her. How could I put her at ease? I wanted to be her friend. It never occurred to me that she would want nothing to do with me.
I asked her name. She would not answer. I introduced myself and she stared at me blankly. I asked her if there was anything that she was hoping to find there today and what she wanted for Christmas. No response.
I didn't know what to do. Here was a beautiful young girl, who even when presented with her choice of many wonderful things, still would not let herself be happy. My heart ached for her. Was she really that void of emotion? Was her young life hopeless?
After several minutes of trying desperately to have some communication with her, I finally asked if I could choose some things for her and put them in her bag. She shrugged her shoulders. I carefully chose gifts that I hoped she would like. I wanted her to have happiness. I longed to see her smile.
When we were finished I walked her back to the bleachers. I told her that it had been wonderful to meet her and that I hoped she had a Merry Christmas. She climbed up the steps and sat down with her bag. She did not smile. I watched her for awhile to see if she was going to open her bag and look at what I had put in it. She never did. She sat alone and then left with her class.
I left Kentucky yesterday filled with a mix of compassion and sadness. I had walked many children through the treasure lined tables. Most of them were happy and excited to pick out their gifts. But even through the joy of these children I could not get my mind off that lonely girl. What was she doing last night while I was dreaming about her? Will she be there next year when I go back? Will I ever get to know her name?.........
Yesterday, as our large chartered bus drove into the small Kentucky town, I knew that my life was about to change. The houses were old, and battered. The creek was garbage lined. The school that was "our mission" was at the end of a long road. It was a small building that had a peculiar smell as we entered. Inside this building were 400 children waiting for our arrival. For many of them, this would be the only Christmas they would experience.
As the bleachers of the gym became filled with smiling faces and buzzing voices became louder, my heart became larger and heavier. How sad, I thought, to have a room filled with impoverished children. What must their lives be like? Do they have enough to eat? Are they warm at night while they sleep?
Children were assigned to all of us that had come to help. As this girl approached me, I was rehearsing what I would say to her. How could I put her at ease? I wanted to be her friend. It never occurred to me that she would want nothing to do with me.
I asked her name. She would not answer. I introduced myself and she stared at me blankly. I asked her if there was anything that she was hoping to find there today and what she wanted for Christmas. No response.
I didn't know what to do. Here was a beautiful young girl, who even when presented with her choice of many wonderful things, still would not let herself be happy. My heart ached for her. Was she really that void of emotion? Was her young life hopeless?
After several minutes of trying desperately to have some communication with her, I finally asked if I could choose some things for her and put them in her bag. She shrugged her shoulders. I carefully chose gifts that I hoped she would like. I wanted her to have happiness. I longed to see her smile.
When we were finished I walked her back to the bleachers. I told her that it had been wonderful to meet her and that I hoped she had a Merry Christmas. She climbed up the steps and sat down with her bag. She did not smile. I watched her for awhile to see if she was going to open her bag and look at what I had put in it. She never did. She sat alone and then left with her class.
I left Kentucky yesterday filled with a mix of compassion and sadness. I had walked many children through the treasure lined tables. Most of them were happy and excited to pick out their gifts. But even through the joy of these children I could not get my mind off that lonely girl. What was she doing last night while I was dreaming about her? Will she be there next year when I go back? Will I ever get to know her name?.........
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Girl Interrupted....
I'm a girl who likes to be in control of her situation. Please try to hold yourself together it's... shocking I know! Lately however, it seems that every time I make plans they are interrupted. Why is this? It's not that my plans aren't valid or important. They aren't going to harm anyone. They just don't come to pass.
It is difficult to give up my control. It makes me feel vulnerable and at risk. What if I don't get to do the things that I feel are so important? What if my goals are never attained? What will I do? How will I cope? Will my life be forever marred by the day that my shopping plans got changed or by the fact that we didn't finish an algebra lesson? Will I live a life of regret because the fish bowl was left with a ring of scum around it?
These plans that I make are all important to me, but are they really the most important plans? The only thing that's going to suffer by my blocked goals is possibly the fish! What I really need to be asking myself is what plans does God want me to make. How would He have me use my time? Is the time that I am going to spend shopping going to interfere with time I should be using for Him?
I have been studying Paul recently. Talk about your blocked plans. Here was a man that shopped when he wanted, never missed an algebra lesson, and had an impeccably clean fish bowl. He was well educated, held a highly respected position, had an abundance of "frequent donkey miles", and still found the time to persecute and stone Christians.
God obviously had better plans!
When Paul's life was interrupted on the road to Damascus, his plans and perspective changed. He went from making his own plans to giving his all for the plans of the Lord! How convicting!
I am hoping that God doesn't feel the need to strike me blind on the road! (especially since i would be driving) My prayer is that whatever plans He may have for me, that I would be a willing participant, that I would not be aggravated that they interfere with my clean fish bowl. We so often wander through our lives concerned about such petty things. It's time that I got focused on the eternal!
It is difficult to give up my control. It makes me feel vulnerable and at risk. What if I don't get to do the things that I feel are so important? What if my goals are never attained? What will I do? How will I cope? Will my life be forever marred by the day that my shopping plans got changed or by the fact that we didn't finish an algebra lesson? Will I live a life of regret because the fish bowl was left with a ring of scum around it?
These plans that I make are all important to me, but are they really the most important plans? The only thing that's going to suffer by my blocked goals is possibly the fish! What I really need to be asking myself is what plans does God want me to make. How would He have me use my time? Is the time that I am going to spend shopping going to interfere with time I should be using for Him?
I have been studying Paul recently. Talk about your blocked plans. Here was a man that shopped when he wanted, never missed an algebra lesson, and had an impeccably clean fish bowl. He was well educated, held a highly respected position, had an abundance of "frequent donkey miles", and still found the time to persecute and stone Christians.
God obviously had better plans!
When Paul's life was interrupted on the road to Damascus, his plans and perspective changed. He went from making his own plans to giving his all for the plans of the Lord! How convicting!
I am hoping that God doesn't feel the need to strike me blind on the road! (especially since i would be driving) My prayer is that whatever plans He may have for me, that I would be a willing participant, that I would not be aggravated that they interfere with my clean fish bowl. We so often wander through our lives concerned about such petty things. It's time that I got focused on the eternal!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Give Me Liberty!....
This morning, as I reflected on the election results, I was tempted to be discouraged. I also thought for a moment that I should pack up my family and move to Antarctica for the next four years.
However, when I really think about what happened yesterday, I have nothing to do except count my blessings.
I was born into a free country!
I was able to drive my own car from my own house whenever I wanted yesterday and stand in line to vote for whomever I choose!
I was able to homeschool my children!
I was able to go to my sister's birthday party without anyone questioning my motives!
I was able to sleep soundly in my bed. No one knocked on my door and threatened my family because of my beliefs!
Praise God!
Was the man who was elected my choice? No. Does that mean that I should not be thankful? No.
I am extremely thankful that our new president will be a man who was elected by the people of this nation.
I am extremely thankful that this man was not appointed for me, or is in this position because of his military threats and power.
Right now, as I am sitting in my cushy home typing these words, there are millions of people throughout the world that are suffering at the hands of their leaders. They have no say in their government. The choices they make in their everday lives are closely monitored and dictated for them. They risk their lives and those of their families if they do not conform to the mandates of the people in power over them.
Today, as a proud American, I am counting my blessings! Freedom is worth far more than my opinion!
However, when I really think about what happened yesterday, I have nothing to do except count my blessings.
I was born into a free country!
I was able to drive my own car from my own house whenever I wanted yesterday and stand in line to vote for whomever I choose!
I was able to homeschool my children!
I was able to go to my sister's birthday party without anyone questioning my motives!
I was able to sleep soundly in my bed. No one knocked on my door and threatened my family because of my beliefs!
Praise God!
Was the man who was elected my choice? No. Does that mean that I should not be thankful? No.
I am extremely thankful that our new president will be a man who was elected by the people of this nation.
I am extremely thankful that this man was not appointed for me, or is in this position because of his military threats and power.
Right now, as I am sitting in my cushy home typing these words, there are millions of people throughout the world that are suffering at the hands of their leaders. They have no say in their government. The choices they make in their everday lives are closely monitored and dictated for them. They risk their lives and those of their families if they do not conform to the mandates of the people in power over them.
Today, as a proud American, I am counting my blessings! Freedom is worth far more than my opinion!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Remember Me?....
Hello? tap, tap, tap Anybody in there? I know I've been gone for almost a month, but please tell me you didn't forget me!
Quite honestly over the last few weeks I have been trying to decide what to do about this here blog. I enjoy telling the whole entire internet all about our lives, but it seems that lately I've had nothing to say. Don't get me wrong, it's not like things haven't been happening around here. We've had school, and rabbit raising, and Brian finally getting back to a normal work schedule. We've even had Josh learning how to swim "star wars style". One million points to the person who can figure out what that means.
For all five of you who are my loyal blog readers, I want to say thanks for hangin' in there. To the rest of you...I want to say whateva!
I'm going to keep the blog going for now. I might not be posting on a regular basis, but I don't want to give it up just yet.
So keep checking in, and hopefully I'll see ya soon!
Quite honestly over the last few weeks I have been trying to decide what to do about this here blog. I enjoy telling the whole entire internet all about our lives, but it seems that lately I've had nothing to say. Don't get me wrong, it's not like things haven't been happening around here. We've had school, and rabbit raising, and Brian finally getting back to a normal work schedule. We've even had Josh learning how to swim "star wars style". One million points to the person who can figure out what that means.
For all five of you who are my loyal blog readers, I want to say thanks for hangin' in there. To the rest of you...I want to say whateva!
I'm going to keep the blog going for now. I might not be posting on a regular basis, but I don't want to give it up just yet.
So keep checking in, and hopefully I'll see ya soon!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Quick Post Cause I've Got No Time....
Well we are back from a week at the beach! It was wonderful, refreshing and fun!! Of course now that we are home we have to get back to the daily grind. UGH!
This week should be busy. We need to get back into school, clean the house, and tomorrow we are going to pick up our killer rabbits.
Hopefully I will have some vacation and bunny pics to share in the next couple days. Until then...SEE YA!
This week should be busy. We need to get back into school, clean the house, and tomorrow we are going to pick up our killer rabbits.
Hopefully I will have some vacation and bunny pics to share in the next couple days. Until then...SEE YA!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Flopsy, Mopsy and That Really Big One With No Name....
We are venturing into a new realm around here. The kids have decided to take up 4H. I am actually very excited about this, mostly because I've always dreamed of having a farm. However, we do not live on a farm. We live in a nicely manicured subdivision. This obviously limits our choices for animal projects.
My children are very resourceful however, and were able to come up with the perfect animal project for the suburban family. Rabbits. You know, those sweet little cuddly balls of fluff that are just so cute? Yes rabbits. I agreed that this was the perfect plan (envisioning dwarf bunnies). So the kids began researching types of rabbits and their care. They finally decided on a breed.
FLEMISH GIANTS!
Did you get the GIANT part of that? These rabbits will grow to be larger than my dog. They can reach 28 pounds...you know, just a little lighter than me. They require a large cage of course, that will have to be built. They also require more food and more cleanup. This information has not deterred the rabbit olympic hopefuls. They are going for the gold in this rabbit project.
Incidentally, I have no idea who the guy in the picture is, but he obviously runs some kind of Flemish Giant Army. Do you see the size of that thing? Are you feeling my pain?...
As we have looked at picture after picture of the very large specimens, I have been pondering some things in my heart. Kind of like when Mary was pregnant with Jesus, but not. Anyhoo...
First, do giant rabbits like people for dinner? If these rabbits are almost the size of me, will they see me as a tasty snack?
Second, isn't the word rabbit awfully close to rabid? Hmmm....
And lastly, this is where you come in my dear internets, what do you name a GIANT rabbit? Cottontail and Freckles don't really seem appropriate. Killer and Demon would seem more fitting.
All this to say, we want some help naming our FLEMISH GIANTS. So leave me a comment and give us your suggestions! Some names we've considered are SUR short for Sport Utility Rabbit, GOLIATH which just implies LARGE, and PEE WEE cause it's funny.
We will be getting these precious pets within the next few weeks, and want to be prepared. So enlighten us with your knowledge, blow us away with your creativity, give us a rabbit name by golly!
And if you never hear from me again....you will find the leftovers in the hutch......
My children are very resourceful however, and were able to come up with the perfect animal project for the suburban family. Rabbits. You know, those sweet little cuddly balls of fluff that are just so cute? Yes rabbits. I agreed that this was the perfect plan (envisioning dwarf bunnies). So the kids began researching types of rabbits and their care. They finally decided on a breed.
FLEMISH GIANTS!
Did you get the GIANT part of that? These rabbits will grow to be larger than my dog. They can reach 28 pounds...you know, just a little lighter than me. They require a large cage of course, that will have to be built. They also require more food and more cleanup. This information has not deterred the rabbit olympic hopefuls. They are going for the gold in this rabbit project.
Incidentally, I have no idea who the guy in the picture is, but he obviously runs some kind of Flemish Giant Army. Do you see the size of that thing? Are you feeling my pain?...
As we have looked at picture after picture of the very large specimens, I have been pondering some things in my heart. Kind of like when Mary was pregnant with Jesus, but not. Anyhoo...
First, do giant rabbits like people for dinner? If these rabbits are almost the size of me, will they see me as a tasty snack?
Second, isn't the word rabbit awfully close to rabid? Hmmm....
And lastly, this is where you come in my dear internets, what do you name a GIANT rabbit? Cottontail and Freckles don't really seem appropriate. Killer and Demon would seem more fitting.
All this to say, we want some help naming our FLEMISH GIANTS. So leave me a comment and give us your suggestions! Some names we've considered are SUR short for Sport Utility Rabbit, GOLIATH which just implies LARGE, and PEE WEE cause it's funny.
We will be getting these precious pets within the next few weeks, and want to be prepared. So enlighten us with your knowledge, blow us away with your creativity, give us a rabbit name by golly!
And if you never hear from me again....you will find the leftovers in the hutch......
Thursday, August 14, 2008
To Sing What They Could Sing....
Yesterday was one of those days where I needed to be trapped in the car for several hours with antsy children. Thank goodness for the DVD player! But alas you can only watch so many movies and I was tired of them arguing over the remote, so I suggested another activity.
My children have always been very creative and usually have no problem coming up with something to do.
I was not surprised that within a few minutes they had formed a plan that would make me want to throw myself out the window into oncoming interstate traffic.
"Let's practice Christmas songs", I heard from the backseat. Why O why didn't I bring more movies? UGH!!
I guess when you are 6 and 8 it's very important to practice Christmas songs in August, that way you won't be rusty come December.
So after several rounds of Jingle Bells, Deck the Halls, and a very interesting version of Silent Night, I thought they were finished. But....then what to my listening ears should I hear....the suggestion of another song.
"Mom, how's that one go? You know Jesus Went Over the Mountain?" Josh asked in all seriousness.
To which I replied "what in the blazes are you talking about?"! I didn't remember that song from past Christmases. Josh however was insistent that it was his very favorite and he learned it in church.
Then it hit me. He was referring to Go Tell it on the Mountain! Of course!
It's a good thing Mary and Joseph didn't have to carry Jesus over the mountain. They might have run into that pesky bear!
My children have always been very creative and usually have no problem coming up with something to do.
I was not surprised that within a few minutes they had formed a plan that would make me want to throw myself out the window into oncoming interstate traffic.
"Let's practice Christmas songs", I heard from the backseat. Why O why didn't I bring more movies? UGH!!
I guess when you are 6 and 8 it's very important to practice Christmas songs in August, that way you won't be rusty come December.
So after several rounds of Jingle Bells, Deck the Halls, and a very interesting version of Silent Night, I thought they were finished. But....then what to my listening ears should I hear....the suggestion of another song.
"Mom, how's that one go? You know Jesus Went Over the Mountain?" Josh asked in all seriousness.
To which I replied "what in the blazes are you talking about?"! I didn't remember that song from past Christmases. Josh however was insistent that it was his very favorite and he learned it in church.
Then it hit me. He was referring to Go Tell it on the Mountain! Of course!
It's a good thing Mary and Joseph didn't have to carry Jesus over the mountain. They might have run into that pesky bear!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Fresh Air....
I opened my windows today! Did you hear me people? It's August and I opened my windows! You can't do this if you live in say Florida or Arizona or in some equatorial country.
The weather here has been absolutely beautiful the last couple of days and it makes me crave fall! I'm ready for summer to be over so that I can put out my pumpkins and cheer on my favorite football team! GO VOLS!!
I'm sure that by the end of the week it will be 90 degrees again, and I will be floating in the lake and drinking diet coke to keep myself hydrated. But.... until then, I may start shopping for sweaters!
The weather here has been absolutely beautiful the last couple of days and it makes me crave fall! I'm ready for summer to be over so that I can put out my pumpkins and cheer on my favorite football team! GO VOLS!!
I'm sure that by the end of the week it will be 90 degrees again, and I will be floating in the lake and drinking diet coke to keep myself hydrated. But.... until then, I may start shopping for sweaters!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Good Friends, Good Food, Lotsa Years!....
Thursday was Brian and my sixteenth anniversary. Sometimes it's hard to believe we've been married that long and other times....not so hard.
So for our anniversary we celebrated with our favorite friends. You might remember my fake twin sister Amy? Well she and her husband Derek share an anniversary with us! Can you believe it? Totally cool!
Anyway, the four of us went to our favorite wing hang out (Wild Wing Cafe) and gobbled down a few unsuspecting chickens. It was a blast!
Here's the funny part. Derek was scheduled to have surgery the next day so they weren't even supposed to be at dinner. Guess what happened while we were there?
Derek won a cruise!!!!!!! Unbelievable!
So not only did we have a wonderful time, but they got a cruise out of the deal!
Man I love those wings!!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
A Deer in the Headlights or Buying a New Car....(the final chapter)
So we drove home, feeling somewhat frustrated but trying to remind ourselves that good things come to those who wait. And wait we did!
The next day, we had several conversations with the dealership. We negotiated numbers and needless to say they were not very happy with our bottom line. After all of our back and forth haggling they decided that they just could not sell us this vehicle for what we were willing to pay. So to that we said okay, we will find a car somewhere else.
Within a couple of hours we got a call back asking us to come in because they think they can work it out!
We drove back to the dealership fully confident that we would be driving our new van home. Confidence is highly overrated.
After 3 hours....yes that's 3 as in one, two, three....we were informed that because Brian works so much overtime, it was making it difficult for the bank to verify his income. Keep in mind that they had several pay stubs and the last two years W2's in front of them. This, we determined, was all part of the game.
They told us that because it was Friday evening, and we were facing the weekend, it would probably be Monday before we would know anything for sure.....UNLESS....
we wanted to put more down to prove that we had a sufficient bank account.
Can you say LIVID!?
We were not putting more money down, and I was not going to play this game anymore. We told them that they could either make the deal or we would be looking elsewhere.
We drove home again. This time I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that we would be looking elsewhere. The sales manager at the dealership had other ideas.
Apparently, sales have been extremely slow and this particular automaker has a year's worth of inventory sitting on car lots throughout America. They are actually at an advantage....some manufacturers have three years worth. Needless to say, they really needed to sell us that van.
Saturday came. It was Katy's birthday, so I was busy. I did not have time to deal with ridiculous deal making and I certainly was not going to go sit at the dealership for an extended length of time...again.
Around 3:00, after several back and forth phone calls, we were told to come get the van. I made it perfectly clear that there would be no more negotiating and that I had a total of 1 hour to spare. That's it!
When we arrived our van was waiting for us. It had been washed and was ready to take home. It looked so nice and shiny in the sunlight!
In a matter of 30 minutes, we had signed papers, and were given the keys. I sat in my brand spanking new Nissan Quest and breathed in the new car smell. It was intoxicating. Driving home was like some kind of dream. It was smooth. Nothing was leaking. The kids were constantly messing with buttons and wondering why I didn't come prepared with a DVD to watch.
My van is now parked in my garage looking all new and sparkly. I keep coming up with excuses to drive it. I know it will not look sparkly for long.....did I mention I have 4 kids?
The car shopping experience was not pleasant. It was stressful and full of a lot of bologna! But, if you can get past all of that, now is a great time to buy. Just stick to your guns, and don't eat the hot dogs....I'm just sayin =).
The next day, we had several conversations with the dealership. We negotiated numbers and needless to say they were not very happy with our bottom line. After all of our back and forth haggling they decided that they just could not sell us this vehicle for what we were willing to pay. So to that we said okay, we will find a car somewhere else.
Within a couple of hours we got a call back asking us to come in because they think they can work it out!
We drove back to the dealership fully confident that we would be driving our new van home. Confidence is highly overrated.
After 3 hours....yes that's 3 as in one, two, three....we were informed that because Brian works so much overtime, it was making it difficult for the bank to verify his income. Keep in mind that they had several pay stubs and the last two years W2's in front of them. This, we determined, was all part of the game.
They told us that because it was Friday evening, and we were facing the weekend, it would probably be Monday before we would know anything for sure.....UNLESS....
we wanted to put more down to prove that we had a sufficient bank account.
Can you say LIVID!?
We were not putting more money down, and I was not going to play this game anymore. We told them that they could either make the deal or we would be looking elsewhere.
We drove home again. This time I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that we would be looking elsewhere. The sales manager at the dealership had other ideas.
Apparently, sales have been extremely slow and this particular automaker has a year's worth of inventory sitting on car lots throughout America. They are actually at an advantage....some manufacturers have three years worth. Needless to say, they really needed to sell us that van.
Saturday came. It was Katy's birthday, so I was busy. I did not have time to deal with ridiculous deal making and I certainly was not going to go sit at the dealership for an extended length of time...again.
Around 3:00, after several back and forth phone calls, we were told to come get the van. I made it perfectly clear that there would be no more negotiating and that I had a total of 1 hour to spare. That's it!
When we arrived our van was waiting for us. It had been washed and was ready to take home. It looked so nice and shiny in the sunlight!
In a matter of 30 minutes, we had signed papers, and were given the keys. I sat in my brand spanking new Nissan Quest and breathed in the new car smell. It was intoxicating. Driving home was like some kind of dream. It was smooth. Nothing was leaking. The kids were constantly messing with buttons and wondering why I didn't come prepared with a DVD to watch.
My van is now parked in my garage looking all new and sparkly. I keep coming up with excuses to drive it. I know it will not look sparkly for long.....did I mention I have 4 kids?
The car shopping experience was not pleasant. It was stressful and full of a lot of bologna! But, if you can get past all of that, now is a great time to buy. Just stick to your guns, and don't eat the hot dogs....I'm just sayin =).
Monday, August 4, 2008
A Deer in the Headlights or Buying a New Car....(part two)
So there we were, needing to go to the dealership. It felt somewhat like Daniel being led to the lion's den or Nemo being scooped up by that diver. Anyhoo...
We had decided before we left that we would not be victims! No siree, we knew all about this vehicle, and we knew what we would and would not pay for it. All we wanted to do was take it for a spin and make sure that I felt comfortable.
When we pulled onto the parking lot, it was in the middle of a tsunami. I was thinking this was a plus for us. Afterall, what salesman in their right mind would want to come out in this kind of mess? I was wrong. Right away we were approached by a young guy with a giant umbrella and a much to eager smile on his face. We'll call him J.
J was obviously new at this car selling thing. He couldn't answer all our questions, and he didn't even have his own business cards yet. Score for us! We drove the van, and immediately decided it was the one we wanted!
We presented J with our offer. We knew our stuff. I had written down all facts, figures, rebates and number of hot dogs allowed per customer. All we had to do was wait.
They did all of our paperwork and after about an hour and a half, sweet, inexperienced J came to report to us that all of the lenders were closed for the night and that it would be tomorrow before we could do anything.
I'm pretty sure this was code for I'm new and if I am going to make any money off of you people I need a night to come up with a plan.
We had decided before we left that we would not be victims! No siree, we knew all about this vehicle, and we knew what we would and would not pay for it. All we wanted to do was take it for a spin and make sure that I felt comfortable.
When we pulled onto the parking lot, it was in the middle of a tsunami. I was thinking this was a plus for us. Afterall, what salesman in their right mind would want to come out in this kind of mess? I was wrong. Right away we were approached by a young guy with a giant umbrella and a much to eager smile on his face. We'll call him J.
J was obviously new at this car selling thing. He couldn't answer all our questions, and he didn't even have his own business cards yet. Score for us! We drove the van, and immediately decided it was the one we wanted!
We presented J with our offer. We knew our stuff. I had written down all facts, figures, rebates and number of hot dogs allowed per customer. All we had to do was wait.
They did all of our paperwork and after about an hour and a half, sweet, inexperienced J came to report to us that all of the lenders were closed for the night and that it would be tomorrow before we could do anything.
I'm pretty sure this was code for I'm new and if I am going to make any money off of you people I need a night to come up with a plan.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
A Deer in the Headlights or Buying a New Car....(part one)
Our trusty minivan has recently been having some health issues. Let's just call it what it is....a terminal illness with no hope for recovery. This obviously has put us in the position of needing a new car.
Now in order to make our car shopping experience perfectly clear to you, I need to give you a little background.
I have been driving a minivan for the last 11 years. I have been desperately wanting a big, road hogging, air polluting SUV so as to establish my coolness on the road. In all of our when we get a new car discussions that has been my preference. Something shiny, loaded with extras and did I mention BIG!
But alas, we ran into a little glitch in my plan. It's called $4.00 a gallon. My hopes for an SUV were fading fast, and we unfortunately did not strike oil in our backyard while digging flower beds. So.....
I became resigned to another minivan.
My minivan research began on the internet, where all research of any value begins. I read all the info, specs, engine parts (which I totally did not understand) and options on all the top models. I had pretty much decided that there were really only two options. These were the only vehicles I would accept and be seen driving in the minivan world.
Then the newspaper came...
There was an ad for a local dealership offering all kinds of rebates, incentives and free hot dogs if you would buy their car. Apparently salesmen are a little desperate these days. There was one problem with this....their minivan was not on my approved list.
Since I like to give all automakers a fair shot, I decided to research this particular van. It looked good. Really good. It had reviews. Really good ones. And it was shiny. Really shiny!
We decided that this would definitely be an option for us. There was one problem....we needed to see it in person.
Now in order to make our car shopping experience perfectly clear to you, I need to give you a little background.
I have been driving a minivan for the last 11 years. I have been desperately wanting a big, road hogging, air polluting SUV so as to establish my coolness on the road. In all of our when we get a new car discussions that has been my preference. Something shiny, loaded with extras and did I mention BIG!
But alas, we ran into a little glitch in my plan. It's called $4.00 a gallon. My hopes for an SUV were fading fast, and we unfortunately did not strike oil in our backyard while digging flower beds. So.....
I became resigned to another minivan.
My minivan research began on the internet, where all research of any value begins. I read all the info, specs, engine parts (which I totally did not understand) and options on all the top models. I had pretty much decided that there were really only two options. These were the only vehicles I would accept and be seen driving in the minivan world.
Then the newspaper came...
There was an ad for a local dealership offering all kinds of rebates, incentives and free hot dogs if you would buy their car. Apparently salesmen are a little desperate these days. There was one problem with this....their minivan was not on my approved list.
Since I like to give all automakers a fair shot, I decided to research this particular van. It looked good. Really good. It had reviews. Really good ones. And it was shiny. Really shiny!
We decided that this would definitely be an option for us. There was one problem....we needed to see it in person.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Where O Where Has My Mojo Gone?....
To quote a friend....I have lost my mojo. I am feeling drained, zapped of energy and dull. I am restless and discontent and I need to recover NOW! Too many people are depending on me to feed them, clothe them, clean up after them and run my taxi service. My mojo needs to come back.
The work schedule that Brian has been on (7 days a week, 14+ hours a day) has really made my life difficult. I feel like a single parent running on empty. My patience is short and my days are long.
In case you think this sounds like a gripe session and that all I am doing is complaining .....you would be correct. I am griping and complaining and it feels good! Somedays you just need to vent. You just need to tell the entire internet how you feel. I considered doing this in video form on YouTube, but I feared arrest and conviction.
Oh well, this is the situation that we are in right now and there's not really much I can do about it. I guess I need to pull myself up by my bootstraps...or flip flops, and get a grip.
Now where o where could my mojo be?.......
The work schedule that Brian has been on (7 days a week, 14+ hours a day) has really made my life difficult. I feel like a single parent running on empty. My patience is short and my days are long.
In case you think this sounds like a gripe session and that all I am doing is complaining .....you would be correct. I am griping and complaining and it feels good! Somedays you just need to vent. You just need to tell the entire internet how you feel. I considered doing this in video form on YouTube, but I feared arrest and conviction.
Oh well, this is the situation that we are in right now and there's not really much I can do about it. I guess I need to pull myself up by my bootstraps...or flip flops, and get a grip.
Now where o where could my mojo be?.......
Friday, July 25, 2008
Bikinis, Piercings, and a Good Healthy Diet....
An afternoon at the city pool can be so enlightening. My friend Amy and I took our herd of children (8 total) to the pool the other day for some fun in the sun. Now let me tell you about Amy. She is my long lost twin that was separated from me at birth, only a couple years older. We are so alike in every way that it's a little freaky....in a good way. I love her and that's all I'll say about that!
So....while at the pool, we started to notice some things that made us feel a little out of place, even inferior, to the other women there.
First, we were not wearing bikinis. Now I haven't worn a bikini since I was 17 and don't plan on starting to wear one anytime soon. Amy felt the same way. The thing was, these women in bikinis were not super models. They were moms, with imperfect bodies, and frankly they should not be wearing anything that exposes that much jiggle! And just in case you think I'm being unkind, I also should not wear anything that exposes my jiggle. See, I hold myself to the same standards.
Secondly, there was an awful lot of navel bling. I don't necessarily think there is anything wrong with poking a hole in your belly button....if that's what floats your boat, but apparently you should only do it if you are 13 or extra jiggly. It makes me hurt just thinking about it. I have always had a sensitive navel.
Tattoos. They were everywhere. Everything from hearts to large scary dragons were flashing their colors and swimming through the waters. I have to say that I happen to like some tattoos. Amy and I even discussed getting matching ones or little ones to express ourselves and show our very tiny rebellious sides. I mean nothing says I'm rebelling like a cute little daisy on your ankle! My fear about the tattoo is that at some point my daisy will look wilted because of skin saggage...
After much people watching, discussion and soul searching, Amy and I decided that we also needed to lose weight. We will do this by eating Nutella. It is made from nuts and that makes it healthy. We might throw in a few hot wings just for good measure.
In the conclusion of our discussion, we realized that if we wanted to fit in at the pool next year, some changes were going to have to take place. We will need to go bikini shopping. Not only will it give us the required swimwear, but I'm sure we would both end up peeing our pants just from the experience. We also should get an extra piercing. The location is debatable. Tattoos will need to be required. Amy said that someone told her that tattoos hurt. This made us laugh. We have both given birth to 4 children. Nothing hurts!
And lastly with our weight loss plan of Nutella and hot wings, we should both have the proper body type to flaunt our new found fabulousness at the pool.
Summer.... tis the season of revelation......
So....while at the pool, we started to notice some things that made us feel a little out of place, even inferior, to the other women there.
First, we were not wearing bikinis. Now I haven't worn a bikini since I was 17 and don't plan on starting to wear one anytime soon. Amy felt the same way. The thing was, these women in bikinis were not super models. They were moms, with imperfect bodies, and frankly they should not be wearing anything that exposes that much jiggle! And just in case you think I'm being unkind, I also should not wear anything that exposes my jiggle. See, I hold myself to the same standards.
Secondly, there was an awful lot of navel bling. I don't necessarily think there is anything wrong with poking a hole in your belly button....if that's what floats your boat, but apparently you should only do it if you are 13 or extra jiggly. It makes me hurt just thinking about it. I have always had a sensitive navel.
Tattoos. They were everywhere. Everything from hearts to large scary dragons were flashing their colors and swimming through the waters. I have to say that I happen to like some tattoos. Amy and I even discussed getting matching ones or little ones to express ourselves and show our very tiny rebellious sides. I mean nothing says I'm rebelling like a cute little daisy on your ankle! My fear about the tattoo is that at some point my daisy will look wilted because of skin saggage...
After much people watching, discussion and soul searching, Amy and I decided that we also needed to lose weight. We will do this by eating Nutella. It is made from nuts and that makes it healthy. We might throw in a few hot wings just for good measure.
In the conclusion of our discussion, we realized that if we wanted to fit in at the pool next year, some changes were going to have to take place. We will need to go bikini shopping. Not only will it give us the required swimwear, but I'm sure we would both end up peeing our pants just from the experience. We also should get an extra piercing. The location is debatable. Tattoos will need to be required. Amy said that someone told her that tattoos hurt. This made us laugh. We have both given birth to 4 children. Nothing hurts!
And lastly with our weight loss plan of Nutella and hot wings, we should both have the proper body type to flaunt our new found fabulousness at the pool.
Summer.... tis the season of revelation......
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Baby Got Back!....
He's home! We picked Tyler up from the airport around 8:45 last night. I have to say the sight of him walking toward me was so much better than the one of him walking away! After two weeks in the Bahamas he was slightly exhausted. I know, I know, how can the Bahamas be that exhausting?
He built a firehouse....
He layed concrete.....
He built trusses....
He did roofing....
That would exhaust me! He also had the oppportunity to play with a group of kids and teach them a little about Jesus.
I'm not going to talk about his free time where he apparently jumped from a 25 foot high cliff into a bottomless hole in the ocean. And thankfully he did not need emergency care for discovering he was allergic to shellfish, or hacking his fingers with a machete while trying to split open a coconut. (real things that happened to other kids)
I'm sure I will be sharing lots of stories as I hear them in the days to come. Right now I'm just savoring having my baby back as he sleeps soundly upstairs.
He built a firehouse....
He layed concrete.....
He built trusses....
He did roofing....
That would exhaust me! He also had the oppportunity to play with a group of kids and teach them a little about Jesus.
I'm not going to talk about his free time where he apparently jumped from a 25 foot high cliff into a bottomless hole in the ocean. And thankfully he did not need emergency care for discovering he was allergic to shellfish, or hacking his fingers with a machete while trying to split open a coconut. (real things that happened to other kids)
I'm sure I will be sharing lots of stories as I hear them in the days to come. Right now I'm just savoring having my baby back as he sleeps soundly upstairs.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
If You Give a Kid a Weapon....
Josh has taken up fencing for the summer. This is not fencing like putting up a fence or painting a fence or climbing a fence. This is the actual sport of fencing......you know, En Garde! Apparently he saw a fencing match on one of those fabulous Disney channel sitcoms that we cannot escape from, and decided this was the sport for him. Now let me explain something about Josh. He has opted out of several sports because he doesn't want people to look at him. This is always a confusing fact for me since he seems to regularly draw attention to himself, but whatever.
Anyhoo....
After spending a week or more trying to locate a fencing instructor, (apparently it's not that popular), we were able to start lessons. Now you might be saying to yourself, "self, don't people look at you in fencing?" and you would be correct. The difference is you wear a mask, so you are basically incognito! The mask by the way is at least 10 times bigger than Josh's head.
The big draw for Josh though isn't the mask, or the somewhat weird french terms. Oh no siree....it's the SWORD! That's right, I bought my 6 year old a sword! Can you say mother of the year?!!
Technically it's called a foil (weird french), and it doesn't have a pointy tip. However, a non pointy tipped foil in the hands of a very zealous 6 year old could still have a few unpleasant ramifications. Safety first!
So for the summer we get to watch the class of four students (I mentioned it wasn't very popular) advance, retreat, lunge and fake stab each other. It really is quite amusing. I don't know how long Josh will stick with it. Right now it is his entire world. Who knows, he could be the next Olympic champion! What do you think?
Thursday, July 3, 2008
I Think We're Ready!....
See all these explosives sitting on my kitchen table? You know, the ones with TNT stamped on them? Well this is what my biggest child (i.e. Brian) spent money on last night!
I'm pretty sure that July 4th is his favorite holiday. I mean when else can you blow things up legally? There is no greater joy than attempting to light your neighborhood on fire with 5000 small explosives....right? Here's the kicker, he has already shot some of them off and we haven't even officially reached the holiday! I wouldn't be surprised if he came home today with more, after all they are buy one get one free. How come that never works when I'm shoe shopping?!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
And He's Off!....
This morning I watched, with a knot in my stomach, as my firstborn walked away from me toward security at the airport. He is headed to the Bahamas for a mission trip with our church youth group. As he stood there with his friends (who are all taller than he is) waiting to go, I could tell he was both excited and nervous. All of the months of preparation, hard work and training had finally brought him to the point of departure. He has spent countless hours studying, doing yard work for neighbors and washing cars. I am extremely proud of him! He told me the other day that he thinks that God might be calling him to missions....did I mention I'm extremely proud of him!!
I don't know what the next two weeks will bring for him. It will be hard work, hot weather and uncomfortable. He will have no air conditioned living room to play video games in. He won't be able to hop in the car and go see a movie with his friends, and he won't have a cell phone attached to his ear. It will be good for him. I am praying that God will use Tyler and his team in a mighty way over the course of this trip. I want him to be stretched and have a need to be dependent on God for his strength. I hope that you will join me in this prayer for him and for his safety.
If you want you can pray for me too....I miss him already!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Yummy Cesear Salads!....
I'm lovin' all of the fun summer blog carnivals and swaps! Today Big Mama is asking us to share our favorite summer recipes. I don't know about you, but turning on the oven or even the grill when it's 90+ degrees outside is not very appealing to me, so cool alternatives are always welcome in my kitchen!
My family loves Cesear Salads, so I like to doctor them up with a little meat to make it more filling.
Just tear up some lettuce, iceberg works best. Throw in whatever leftover meat you have, chicken and steak are our favorites. (make sure the meat has been sliced and chilled) Toss in some parmesan cheese, croutons and your favorite Cesear dressing and VOILA! you have a yummy cold summer meal.
The key for the best chilled salad is to put it in the freezer for about 10 minutes before serving. This makes it crunchy and extra cold.
Throw some bread on the table and you are done! Mmm Mmm Good....Enjoy!!
My family loves Cesear Salads, so I like to doctor them up with a little meat to make it more filling.
Just tear up some lettuce, iceberg works best. Throw in whatever leftover meat you have, chicken and steak are our favorites. (make sure the meat has been sliced and chilled) Toss in some parmesan cheese, croutons and your favorite Cesear dressing and VOILA! you have a yummy cold summer meal.
The key for the best chilled salad is to put it in the freezer for about 10 minutes before serving. This makes it crunchy and extra cold.
Throw some bread on the table and you are done! Mmm Mmm Good....Enjoy!!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Don't Push Me People!....
Recently, my son Tyler, opened a Facebook account. We decided to go with Facebook rather than MySpace for security and content reasons. So.... he got on there, did whatever it is you have to do to sign up, and within a couple of hours was conversing with his gajillion friends. It actually is quite amazing when you think about it.
However, there was a little glitch....
The next day when he went to log on, his account had been disabled. This was puzzling. He followed the link to the "explanation" page and guess what it said...go ahead, guess....ok I'll just tell you. It said, sorry you can't be on here cause you're homeschooled. I'm paraphrasing here, but that's the main gist of it.
As you can imagine he was more than a little upset and my other personality started to show. (that would be the one that breathes fire and has snakes for hair) I promptly sent them an email kindly explaining that I felt they were discriminating against my son and other homeschoolers and how I felt that we should not be excluded because of our educational choices. Then we waited....
Several days later I received a response. It went something like this:
We're sorry, but for security purposes we can only correspond with the actual account holder. Please have your son send us an email from his account expressing his concerns.
Thank you,
Mr. Techy Support Guy who is probably making you really angry.
Ok, I made that last part up, but he might as well have signed it that way.
People, did I mention that my son is a minor? That's right, he's underage in all 50 states! He can't vote, drink, drive or receive medical care without my signature, however I cannot do email correspondence on his behalf to a major corporation?! (insert snake hair!)
So I did what any fire breathing, snake haired mother would do. I sent the email from his address. It was kind of like a secret identity thing...I knew it was from me, but they didn't. Clever huh? Again we waited...
This time it only took a few hours to get a response. Guess what they said. Go ahead guess...nevermind I'll just tell you again.
We have reactivated your account. The reason it was disabled was because you were sending friends requests to people you didn't know. In the future please only send requests to people you know.
Thank you,
Mr. Techy Support Guy, is your mom still breathing fire?
Again I'm paraphrasing, but you get the point. How in the holy schmoly did they go from you can't be on here cause you're homeschooled to don't talk to people you don't know? How do they know who his friends are? And incidentally, his friends list consisted of every single kid in the church youth group, his nana, aunts and uncles, and oh yeah me! Maybe they felt he shouldn't be talking to fire breathing, snake for hair people.
I'm glad the incident is settled even though I feel like they were copping out by not facing the original homeschool issue! It was a good lesson for Tyler in standing up and fighting for what you believe in.
However, there was a little glitch....
The next day when he went to log on, his account had been disabled. This was puzzling. He followed the link to the "explanation" page and guess what it said...go ahead, guess....ok I'll just tell you. It said, sorry you can't be on here cause you're homeschooled. I'm paraphrasing here, but that's the main gist of it.
As you can imagine he was more than a little upset and my other personality started to show. (that would be the one that breathes fire and has snakes for hair) I promptly sent them an email kindly explaining that I felt they were discriminating against my son and other homeschoolers and how I felt that we should not be excluded because of our educational choices. Then we waited....
Several days later I received a response. It went something like this:
We're sorry, but for security purposes we can only correspond with the actual account holder. Please have your son send us an email from his account expressing his concerns.
Thank you,
Mr. Techy Support Guy who is probably making you really angry.
Ok, I made that last part up, but he might as well have signed it that way.
People, did I mention that my son is a minor? That's right, he's underage in all 50 states! He can't vote, drink, drive or receive medical care without my signature, however I cannot do email correspondence on his behalf to a major corporation?! (insert snake hair!)
So I did what any fire breathing, snake haired mother would do. I sent the email from his address. It was kind of like a secret identity thing...I knew it was from me, but they didn't. Clever huh? Again we waited...
This time it only took a few hours to get a response. Guess what they said. Go ahead guess...nevermind I'll just tell you again.
We have reactivated your account. The reason it was disabled was because you were sending friends requests to people you didn't know. In the future please only send requests to people you know.
Thank you,
Mr. Techy Support Guy, is your mom still breathing fire?
Again I'm paraphrasing, but you get the point. How in the holy schmoly did they go from you can't be on here cause you're homeschooled to don't talk to people you don't know? How do they know who his friends are? And incidentally, his friends list consisted of every single kid in the church youth group, his nana, aunts and uncles, and oh yeah me! Maybe they felt he shouldn't be talking to fire breathing, snake for hair people.
I'm glad the incident is settled even though I feel like they were copping out by not facing the original homeschool issue! It was a good lesson for Tyler in standing up and fighting for what you believe in.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Confetti, Poppy Thingys, and Hoorah!....
So I just wanted to give a big SHOUT OUT!! to all of you who left comments on my room! Thanks so much for the encouragement and humor! It was great to read some of your blogs for the first time and I look forward to getting to know you better!
Monday, June 16, 2008
It's Definitely Not Perfect....
So Nester, one of my favorite blogs, is hosting a "It Doesn't Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful" carnival? party? We'll just call it a thingy! Anyhoo....
For example, the paint color is so yummy it makes me want to lick the walls. We have already picked out the new carpet. But more important than the superficial beauty, I can picture the beauty of family memories that will take place in this room. Parties, holidays, and game nights will eventually warm it's barren atmosphere. I get excited just thinking about it.
This room has been my second biggest frustration for the past 6 months. When we started it was supposed to take 1 month, then Brian's work schedule changed (my first biggest frustration) and we are still working on it with no end in sight. However, even through the frustration I can see it's potential beauty.
For example, the paint color is so yummy it makes me want to lick the walls. We have already picked out the new carpet. But more important than the superficial beauty, I can picture the beauty of family memories that will take place in this room. Parties, holidays, and game nights will eventually warm it's barren atmosphere. I get excited just thinking about it.
Now if I could just get the boys to take the body target out of the window!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Father's Day Tears....
My father was a great man. He loved the Lord with all of his heart, soul and mind, and he was deeply committed to his family. He was a hard worker and a loyal friend. He was a man of his word. I have so many precious memories of him embedded into the very threads of my life. He was my hero. I loved it when he would call me his sugar bear, and tell me that my dresses were pretty. Or the time when he surprised me with a Cabbage Patch Doll when there were none to be found on store shelves. He filled every family event and holiday with laughter. He gave the loudest applause at my dance recitals. He cried when my dog was hit by a car. He built the best campfires.
All of these things are wonderful to think about and reflect on, they are irreplaceable memories. However, there are two memories of my father that are more precious to me than any other. The first is when I was in sin and he took me in his arms and loved me. As I sobbed and confessed he loved me. I had broken his heart and he loved me. The second happened the day he died. It was a difficult day for me. I was depressed, and very wrapped up in myself. Nothing in my life seemed to be going well. My mother (my other hero) was taking me off for the day, and the last thing that my father said to her that morning was "let's pray for Danielle". The last thing my parents did together was pray for me!
There is no way I could ever begin to describe what that meant to me then and what it still means to me now, four years later. When we left that day we had no way of knowing that we would not be seeing my father again, he had no way of knowing he would not be seeing us. But the thing that was always in the forefront of his mind was what was best for his family.
I miss my daddy so much. I miss the smell of him, I miss his smile, I even miss his not so great harmonica playing. I wish I could tell him how much I love him and how much I appreciate his love for me.
My father was a great man. He showed me Christ.
All of these things are wonderful to think about and reflect on, they are irreplaceable memories. However, there are two memories of my father that are more precious to me than any other. The first is when I was in sin and he took me in his arms and loved me. As I sobbed and confessed he loved me. I had broken his heart and he loved me. The second happened the day he died. It was a difficult day for me. I was depressed, and very wrapped up in myself. Nothing in my life seemed to be going well. My mother (my other hero) was taking me off for the day, and the last thing that my father said to her that morning was "let's pray for Danielle". The last thing my parents did together was pray for me!
There is no way I could ever begin to describe what that meant to me then and what it still means to me now, four years later. When we left that day we had no way of knowing that we would not be seeing my father again, he had no way of knowing he would not be seeing us. But the thing that was always in the forefront of his mind was what was best for his family.
I miss my daddy so much. I miss the smell of him, I miss his smile, I even miss his not so great harmonica playing. I wish I could tell him how much I love him and how much I appreciate his love for me.
My father was a great man. He showed me Christ.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Dating My Daughters Part 2....
Brian's rules for dating his daughters....
1. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
2. You do not touch my daughter. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
3. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, an I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
4. I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
5. It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is : "early".
6. I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is ok with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
7. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful like changing the oil in my car?
8. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, t-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic theme are to be avoided. Movies with chain saws are okay. Hockey games are ok. Old folks homes are better.
9. Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing , merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
10. Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
It appears that they will never be leaving home....sigh.....
1. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
2. You do not touch my daughter. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
3. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, an I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
4. I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
5. It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is : "early".
6. I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is ok with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
7. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful like changing the oil in my car?
8. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, t-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic theme are to be avoided. Movies with chain saws are okay. Hockey games are ok. Old folks homes are better.
9. Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing , merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
10. Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
It appears that they will never be leaving home....sigh.....
Friday, May 30, 2008
Dating My Daughters Part 1....
Brian's application for dating his daughters....
Name:
Date of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
GPA:
Social Security #:
Drivers License:
Boy Scout Rank and Badges:
Home Address:
Do you have parents? yes or no
Is one male and the other female? yes or no
If no, explain:
Number of years they have been married:
If less than your age, explain:
Accessories
Do you own or have access to a van? yes or no
A truck with over sized tires? yes or no
A waterbed? yes or no
A pickup with a mattress in the back? yes or no
A tattoo? yes or no
Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? yes or no
If you answered yes to any of the above, discontinue application and leave premises immediately. I suggest running.
Essay
In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does "DON"T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
References
Church you attend?
How often do you attend?
When would be the best time to interview your:
father?
mother?
pastor?
Short answer
If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be:
A woman's place is in the:
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
What do you want to do IF you grow up?
When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
What is the current going rate of a hotel room?
I swear that all information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, native american ant torture, crucifixion, electrocution, chinese water torture, red hot pokers, and Hillary Clinton kiss torture.
Applicant's signature (that's you moron)
Mother's signature
Father's signature
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi:
State Representative/Congressman:
Than you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)
Name:
Date of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
GPA:
Social Security #:
Drivers License:
Boy Scout Rank and Badges:
Home Address:
Do you have parents? yes or no
Is one male and the other female? yes or no
If no, explain:
Number of years they have been married:
If less than your age, explain:
Accessories
Do you own or have access to a van? yes or no
A truck with over sized tires? yes or no
A waterbed? yes or no
A pickup with a mattress in the back? yes or no
A tattoo? yes or no
Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? yes or no
If you answered yes to any of the above, discontinue application and leave premises immediately. I suggest running.
Essay
In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does "DON"T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
References
Church you attend?
How often do you attend?
When would be the best time to interview your:
father?
mother?
pastor?
Short answer
If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be:
A woman's place is in the:
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
What do you want to do IF you grow up?
When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
What is the current going rate of a hotel room?
I swear that all information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, native american ant torture, crucifixion, electrocution, chinese water torture, red hot pokers, and Hillary Clinton kiss torture.
Applicant's signature (that's you moron)
Mother's signature
Father's signature
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi:
State Representative/Congressman:
Than you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Point Your Toes and Break a Leg....
This week is dance recital. For those of you caught up in the "tutu trap" you know exactly what that means. Endless rehearsals, sewing, laundry and cranky kids. I have spent the last 9 months driving to another town two days a week, in order for my girls to have good training. This has involved countless hours of my time, money, and patience. But we have reached the culmination! This weekend will be filled with beautiful (and ridiculously expensive) costumes, makeup, hair and so much sequins even a princess could not compete! For three and a half minutes they will take the stage, the spotlights will shine on their smiling faces, they will be the prima ballerinas of their classes and then.....thunderous applause! There will be shouting and hooting from various parents. Cameras will be flashing and videos running to capture every moment. And then when all is said and done they will be given large bouquets of roses and taken out for ice cream. I don't know how life could be any better..... maybe it's time for me to take dance again!
Monday, May 26, 2008
There's a New Kid in Town!....
If you are looking for a fun and fresh new blog to read, look no further than Singing Blue Turtles! The writer is very talented, super spunky and rather adorable! Of course I may be slightly partial since I gave birth to her, however she's still really good! Check her out!!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
A Long "Tail" With a Happy Ending....
Once upon a time, there lived a sweet suburban family. In the family was a handsome and dedicated father, a sensible and beautiful mother and four very adorable children. This family desperately wanted a small dog of their own. They had had a few unfortunate encounters with family dogs and really wanted one that they could have forever. The mother of the family spent time researching breeds and checking newspapers and online sites, hoping to find their perfect companion. Would they choose a purebred from a breeder or adopt a mutt from the shelter? These questions were circling through their modest abode on a daily basis. However, the family could not predict the twists and turns that their dog hunt would take.
Meanwhile, two sweet little dogs were wandering the family's neighborhood. They were uncollared, unidentified and seemed to be unwanted. Of course they made their way to the home of the dog-loving family. The children fell instantly in love with these two little pups. The mother was concerned because she knew they belonged to someone else.
Day after day the two would show up on the family's doorstep longing for attention. The family played with them, watered them and some members even snuck them food. The children
begged to keep them, but the very sensible mother kept saying "I'm sorry, but they don't belong to us".
After several days of loving on these two pitiful creatures, the family decided that the time was right to get their own dog. They had chosen to adopt one from the shelter. Everyone was excited and wanted to go right away, but this particular day was a busy one with lots of errands to run and things to do. They would not be home that day. The shelter would have to wait until tomorrow. So the errands were run and the things were done and the conversation was mostly about their sweet little stray buddies.
The next morning the mother and children piled into the car and went to the animal shelter. This particular shelter had two adoption rooms. One for dogs that were ready to go that day, and one for dogs that had been picked up as strays and were waiting for a wayward owner to claim them. The family walked through the first room, looking at each eager face. Their fingers were licked and their ears were ringing from all of the barking. They entered the second room, wondering what wonderful friends could be awaiting them. The mother was bombarded by "I want this one, oh mommy how bout this one!", but remember, she was sensible and looked carefully at each prospect. They were approaching the end of the kennels when the children suddenly became uncontainably excited. There, in the second to last run were their neighborhood friends. The mother couldn't believe it and the children were bursting with joy. How could this be? The sensible mother spoke to the lady that was taking care of the dogs and told her the story of these two babies. The lady was touched by the story and wished she could let the family take them right away. Unfortunately, they had been brought in to the shelter the day before (when the family wasn't home) and therefore would have to stay for five days in case their owner wanted them back.
The family accepted this, knowing in their hearts that these were to be their dogs. The children were anxious to share the news with their father. He, also being very sensible, was not sure that two dogs would be appropriate for the family. It would be extra to take care of and extra expense, but the mother and children just knew that these dogs were meant for them. The father, also being very loving, decided to go along with the other family members and allow them to pursue the adoption of both dogs.
The big question now was would their owner come and claim them? The wait was near unbearable. Every day was spent wondering. The mother called the shelter on the third day, and they were still there. Two days to go. The fourth day came and the mother called again. The sweet lady was excited to tell her that the dogs were still there. She told the mother that they could come to the shelter the next morning and take them home.
The family was feverish with excitement. They went to the store and purchased supplies, they argued about names, and they talked continuously about what life would be like with their new friends. The children went to bed that night excited. In their prayers they asked God to protect their new buddies until they could get there to rescue them. The house was heavy with anticipation.
The next day finally arrived. The family was up early making sure everything was ready and in order before going to get their new friends. The sensible mother gave the children a long talking to about how to behave at the shelter and how to act once the dogs arrived home. Really they knew nothing about these dogs except that they were friendly. The mother had many questions running through her mind. Would they behave in the house? Were they housebroken? Would this turn out to be a disaster?
The drive to the shelter seemed to take extra time, and everyone was very anxious. The children rushed in and begged to see their dogs while the sensible mother filled out the paperwork. The shelter workers were delighted that the story had a happy ending, they have so many that aren't. The beaming children carried their new charges to the car and sat patiently while the mother drove home. The precious cargo was brought into the house, given baths, new collars and leashes and of course chew toys. The family spent the day loving on them and getting to know them. It couldn't have been a better ending to their long and twisted "tail".
And for those of you who have your doubts as to whether this story is true or just some elaborate fairy tale, I'd like to introduce you to MILO and ROCKY....
The sweetest little rescues ever!
Meanwhile, two sweet little dogs were wandering the family's neighborhood. They were uncollared, unidentified and seemed to be unwanted. Of course they made their way to the home of the dog-loving family. The children fell instantly in love with these two little pups. The mother was concerned because she knew they belonged to someone else.
Day after day the two would show up on the family's doorstep longing for attention. The family played with them, watered them and some members even snuck them food. The children
begged to keep them, but the very sensible mother kept saying "I'm sorry, but they don't belong to us".
After several days of loving on these two pitiful creatures, the family decided that the time was right to get their own dog. They had chosen to adopt one from the shelter. Everyone was excited and wanted to go right away, but this particular day was a busy one with lots of errands to run and things to do. They would not be home that day. The shelter would have to wait until tomorrow. So the errands were run and the things were done and the conversation was mostly about their sweet little stray buddies.
The next morning the mother and children piled into the car and went to the animal shelter. This particular shelter had two adoption rooms. One for dogs that were ready to go that day, and one for dogs that had been picked up as strays and were waiting for a wayward owner to claim them. The family walked through the first room, looking at each eager face. Their fingers were licked and their ears were ringing from all of the barking. They entered the second room, wondering what wonderful friends could be awaiting them. The mother was bombarded by "I want this one, oh mommy how bout this one!", but remember, she was sensible and looked carefully at each prospect. They were approaching the end of the kennels when the children suddenly became uncontainably excited. There, in the second to last run were their neighborhood friends. The mother couldn't believe it and the children were bursting with joy. How could this be? The sensible mother spoke to the lady that was taking care of the dogs and told her the story of these two babies. The lady was touched by the story and wished she could let the family take them right away. Unfortunately, they had been brought in to the shelter the day before (when the family wasn't home) and therefore would have to stay for five days in case their owner wanted them back.
The family accepted this, knowing in their hearts that these were to be their dogs. The children were anxious to share the news with their father. He, also being very sensible, was not sure that two dogs would be appropriate for the family. It would be extra to take care of and extra expense, but the mother and children just knew that these dogs were meant for them. The father, also being very loving, decided to go along with the other family members and allow them to pursue the adoption of both dogs.
The big question now was would their owner come and claim them? The wait was near unbearable. Every day was spent wondering. The mother called the shelter on the third day, and they were still there. Two days to go. The fourth day came and the mother called again. The sweet lady was excited to tell her that the dogs were still there. She told the mother that they could come to the shelter the next morning and take them home.
The family was feverish with excitement. They went to the store and purchased supplies, they argued about names, and they talked continuously about what life would be like with their new friends. The children went to bed that night excited. In their prayers they asked God to protect their new buddies until they could get there to rescue them. The house was heavy with anticipation.
The next day finally arrived. The family was up early making sure everything was ready and in order before going to get their new friends. The sensible mother gave the children a long talking to about how to behave at the shelter and how to act once the dogs arrived home. Really they knew nothing about these dogs except that they were friendly. The mother had many questions running through her mind. Would they behave in the house? Were they housebroken? Would this turn out to be a disaster?
The drive to the shelter seemed to take extra time, and everyone was very anxious. The children rushed in and begged to see their dogs while the sensible mother filled out the paperwork. The shelter workers were delighted that the story had a happy ending, they have so many that aren't. The beaming children carried their new charges to the car and sat patiently while the mother drove home. The precious cargo was brought into the house, given baths, new collars and leashes and of course chew toys. The family spent the day loving on them and getting to know them. It couldn't have been a better ending to their long and twisted "tail".
And for those of you who have your doubts as to whether this story is true or just some elaborate fairy tale, I'd like to introduce you to MILO and ROCKY....
The sweetest little rescues ever!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Not Exactly a Whole Lotta Nothin Goin On!....
What I wouldn't give for a few days of peace! Right now Brian is working 7 days a week, the girls are getting ready for their dance recital, and my house is still falling apart because we have had no time to finish our remodel. And since I'm a glutton for punishment, my mom and I held a garage sale last weekend in hopes that we would become rich and be able to move to the Caribbean. Obviously it didn't work. To say that I am overspent would be an understatement. Get it? Overspent, understatement? Over, under? Ha! Clearly I have lost it.
Oh well, I knew this day would come.
On a positive note....we are finished with school! Can I get a HALLELUJAH!?!?!?
Of course, this means that I am busy planning for the next year. It is a little more stressful since Tyler will be in high school, (we won't go into how I feel about that) but it's exciting to plan high school curriculum that can be catered specifically to your child. Ah....the beauties of homeschooling.
So suffice it to say that I am busy with a whole lot of things that seem to run together in a never ending circle...kind of like this sentence!
Oh well, I knew this day would come.
On a positive note....we are finished with school! Can I get a HALLELUJAH!?!?!?
Of course, this means that I am busy planning for the next year. It is a little more stressful since Tyler will be in high school, (we won't go into how I feel about that) but it's exciting to plan high school curriculum that can be catered specifically to your child. Ah....the beauties of homeschooling.
So suffice it to say that I am busy with a whole lot of things that seem to run together in a never ending circle...kind of like this sentence!
Friday, April 25, 2008
Hope....
I sat at my computer, surrounded by comfort and sipping on diet coke, their faces passing by on the screen, one by one, each filled with so much potential. How would I choose? They were all so deserving. What gender? What age? What country? Should it be the one with the shirt that was missing buttons? The one wearing a dirty dress and mismatched socks? The one who wasn't sure how to smile? I could not decide...it was impossible. That is when I made the decision to let them choose for me. I entered my name, address and credit card information....something I had done many times before without any thought as to where else my money could be going. This time was so different, a child was depending on me. I got my confirmation and began to wait.
Yesterday I opened the mailbox with great anticipation. It had been seven days and I was becoming impatient. A baby blue envelope bearing the Compassion International logo had finally arrived. I told myself to calm down. I wanted to rip it open immediately and look at the face of the child that had been assigned to me. I sat down and very carefully opened the package that I had been so anxiously awaiting. There she was. My child. She was wearing a brown and white dress with old sandals, her hair very neatly pulled into pigtails with a flower on one side. She was not smiling, but she was absolutely beautiful, and it took my breath away. Tears welled up in my eyes and the lump in my throat was hardly containable. I fell instantly in love with a five year old girl in India.
There are thousands of miles between us. I know nothing of the hardships that she faces in her everyday life. I would probably crumble if I had to live in her world. Yet, we will now have a bond. We will write letters and exchange pictures and I will be able to watch her grow up knowing that her needs have been met. The chance is great that I will never meet this girl face to face, but that's ok. Even though we are separated by oceans, mountains, and continents, I know that she is being taught the love of Jesus and maybe one day we will meet in our Heavenly Father's presence and that will be more precious than meeting on earth.
Yesterday I opened the mailbox with great anticipation. It had been seven days and I was becoming impatient. A baby blue envelope bearing the Compassion International logo had finally arrived. I told myself to calm down. I wanted to rip it open immediately and look at the face of the child that had been assigned to me. I sat down and very carefully opened the package that I had been so anxiously awaiting. There she was. My child. She was wearing a brown and white dress with old sandals, her hair very neatly pulled into pigtails with a flower on one side. She was not smiling, but she was absolutely beautiful, and it took my breath away. Tears welled up in my eyes and the lump in my throat was hardly containable. I fell instantly in love with a five year old girl in India.
There are thousands of miles between us. I know nothing of the hardships that she faces in her everyday life. I would probably crumble if I had to live in her world. Yet, we will now have a bond. We will write letters and exchange pictures and I will be able to watch her grow up knowing that her needs have been met. The chance is great that I will never meet this girl face to face, but that's ok. Even though we are separated by oceans, mountains, and continents, I know that she is being taught the love of Jesus and maybe one day we will meet in our Heavenly Father's presence and that will be more precious than meeting on earth.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Time to Clean Out My Ears....
Have you ever felt that God is speaking to you and moving in your heart, but you couldn't really understand what He was saying? I have been really feeling this lately. It seems that so many things are going on in my life that I haven't been able or willing to listen to His direction. What is it that He is asking of me? Are my priorities straight? Do I even really want to know what He is saying? These are all things that have been heavy on my heart the last couple of weeks. I have been trying to make decisions without asking Him for direction...something that rarely works. I am feeling burnt out with housekeeping, childrearing and homeschooling, yet I continue to go on about my daily routine with out involving the One who can restore me.
Why is it that we are so afraid sometimes to let go and let God? Do we think He will not do what is best for us? I know exactly what I have been thinking...If I let go and let God, He may do something that is not fitting with my agenda. Funny how that works huh?
Today is a new day and a chance to begin listening. I think it's time I cleaned out my ears!
Why is it that we are so afraid sometimes to let go and let God? Do we think He will not do what is best for us? I know exactly what I have been thinking...If I let go and let God, He may do something that is not fitting with my agenda. Funny how that works huh?
Today is a new day and a chance to begin listening. I think it's time I cleaned out my ears!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Finders Keepers....
What is a six year old to do when he finds his mommy's secret stash of leftover Easter chocolate? Make it his own of course. How would he go about this, you might ask? Well, he would take his mommy's secret stash and hide the pieces of chocolate in the bottom of a cereal box. This plan is genius! All he has to do is sneak into the pantry, reach down in the box with his probably very dirty hand and pull out the egg. He then opens it quickly and shoves it in his mouth while no one is looking. BRILLIANT! There is a catch however. The little rascal didn't count on his daddy needing a snack last night. And his snack of choice was...you guessed it....cereal. So when daddy went to pour himself a bowl of starchy goodness, out came chocolate eggs along with his Rice Krispies. For me this would have been a fabulous treat! I probably would have unwrapped the eggs and added them to my cereal to give myself a little extra nutrition! But daddy couldn't really do anything but laugh.....
Monday, April 7, 2008
My Love Affair with a Sponge....
I love it. There, I said it. I'm speaking of that little white piece of cleaning in a box. I'll admit I was skeptical at first. Could a "magic" sponge really be that fabulous? The answer is YES! It has removed marks from my walls, grease from my microwave and gunk from my washer and dryer. What is the secret behind this powerful magic eraser? I believe that the cleaning compounds they use to create it are the same ones found in mother's spit! That is the only logical explanation. What else could remove all those marks and all that gunk? It is a miracle product sent straight from heaven that has won my heart.....and that's all I can say! please don't tell Brian......
Monday, March 17, 2008
The Space Between Her Ears....
Yesterday we had a lovely outing to the Great Smoky Mountains! This is one of our family's favorite places in the whole entire universe!! We hiked, climbed trees, got dirty and ate lots of candy. Good times I tell you.
One of our favorite activities in the mountains is wildlife spotting. Now you might think that our own brood is wildlife enough and why would we need to spot more. To this I would say...Right On Brother! However, it's always nice to experience the wildlife that lives outside my home.
Anyhoo....
As we were hiking through the woods, making lots of noise so as to see animals, Brian suddenly stopped. He stood there for a few minutes staring into the trees. The kids were all gathered around him looking in the same direction and begging him to tell them what he was looking at. He kept telling them to be quiet (obviously this man does not spend enough time with his children). After a few moments of silence, he finally said "look", and pointed into the woods. The kids all stared intently searching the trees for signs of life. "What is it?" they all asked. With a big, mischievous grin on his face Brian replied "air". To this there was some chuckling, eye rolling, and a few "daaaaaaad"s. But the best response was from Meghan, who simply replied, "I don't see anything."
One of our favorite activities in the mountains is wildlife spotting. Now you might think that our own brood is wildlife enough and why would we need to spot more. To this I would say...Right On Brother! However, it's always nice to experience the wildlife that lives outside my home.
Anyhoo....
As we were hiking through the woods, making lots of noise so as to see animals, Brian suddenly stopped. He stood there for a few minutes staring into the trees. The kids were all gathered around him looking in the same direction and begging him to tell them what he was looking at. He kept telling them to be quiet (obviously this man does not spend enough time with his children). After a few moments of silence, he finally said "look", and pointed into the woods. The kids all stared intently searching the trees for signs of life. "What is it?" they all asked. With a big, mischievous grin on his face Brian replied "air". To this there was some chuckling, eye rolling, and a few "daaaaaaad"s. But the best response was from Meghan, who simply replied, "I don't see anything."
Saturday, March 15, 2008
The Stars Told Me So....
Every morning it is there. It lurks in a small corner of my homepage just beckoning me to look over and read it. It is my horoscope. I did not ask for it to be put there, instead my internet provider is kind enough to put it there as a courtesy for me so I can know if my day is going to be pleasant or marred by tragedy.
Now before you get panicked and think I'm going all pagan on you let me elaborate on my horoscope situation.
I use to completely ignore it. Matter of fact for a long time I wasn't even aware that it was on the page. Then one day, as there was absolutely nothing else I should be doing, I looked. And then I laughed. Today you will face many challenges. Oh, Mr. Horoscope writer, surely you jest. I am but a lowly mother of four, homeschooler, laundress, bathroom scrubber and neurosurgeon....I could not possibly face any challenges today! HA!
So since that fateful day when I knew ahead of time that I would face challenges, I have read my little horoscope for amusement. Some days it is just a stroke of brilliance...Get organized today, your life will be more enjoyable. Oh my gosh, the divine inspiration! Did I mention I have four kids?
So by now you are probably wondering where all this is going right?
Well, today was my most inspiring and disturbing horoscope yet. Today you will be a beacon of light for a friend. What?! A beacon?! Aren't beacons very large? This cannot possibly apply to me, because I am very tiny! Then it hit me. The obvious translation of this is that I am to remove my clothes and use my winter white body for a friend that is trapped in a cave and can't find their way out! The brightness that would glow off of me would light their path, with the added bonus of still being able to use both hands!
So to all of my friends who will be spending their day spelunking, I'm here for you!
Now before you get panicked and think I'm going all pagan on you let me elaborate on my horoscope situation.
I use to completely ignore it. Matter of fact for a long time I wasn't even aware that it was on the page. Then one day, as there was absolutely nothing else I should be doing, I looked. And then I laughed. Today you will face many challenges. Oh, Mr. Horoscope writer, surely you jest. I am but a lowly mother of four, homeschooler, laundress, bathroom scrubber and neurosurgeon....I could not possibly face any challenges today! HA!
So since that fateful day when I knew ahead of time that I would face challenges, I have read my little horoscope for amusement. Some days it is just a stroke of brilliance...Get organized today, your life will be more enjoyable. Oh my gosh, the divine inspiration! Did I mention I have four kids?
So by now you are probably wondering where all this is going right?
Well, today was my most inspiring and disturbing horoscope yet. Today you will be a beacon of light for a friend. What?! A beacon?! Aren't beacons very large? This cannot possibly apply to me, because I am very tiny! Then it hit me. The obvious translation of this is that I am to remove my clothes and use my winter white body for a friend that is trapped in a cave and can't find their way out! The brightness that would glow off of me would light their path, with the added bonus of still being able to use both hands!
So to all of my friends who will be spending their day spelunking, I'm here for you!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Keep Those Rubber Gloves Away From Me....
It has been brought to my attention that March is Colo-Rectal Awareness Month. I am not exactly sure what this means. Are you supposed to make sure you still have a colon and a rectum? Maybe you are supposed to be aware of other people's digestive organs. How exactly do you become aware of colo-rectal stuff? This is all very puzzling to me. You will all be happy to know however, that I am fairly confident that I still have all of my colo-rectal parts.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Another One Bites the Dust, and Bright Hope For Tomorrow....
So apparently I spoke too soon. Another child has fallen victim to the plague. Of course this happened on the first night that Katy has not spent coughing and I had the promise of sleep. But alas a small, very feverish body woke me in the night to tell me he needed help throwing up. I used my doctor skills, (that I am totally underpaid for by the way) gave him some extra lovin', and put him back in bed. We'll see what the day brings....
On a much more positive note, I found this out about myself......
32%
On a much more positive note, I found this out about myself......
32%
So you don't have to worry about me, just in case....
Saturday, March 8, 2008
On the Mend....
Well, I do believe we are finally healed! I say that with just a little fear and trepidation in case anyone else should come down with what I like to call....the black death!
Anyhoo....
After nursing children back to health and spending a week on the couch wanting to die, I think we are over it. Katy is still having some difficulties related to her asthma and by difficulties I mean coughing and keeping everyone awake all night. I'm trying to be positive...I mean no sleep beats the plague right?!
Hopefully, I can get my little (ahem) butt back in gear and get the bazillion things done around here that I need to. Also, I am hoping to start blogging again more frequently so stay tuned! By more frequently of course I mean more than once a century =).
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Disease and Pestilence....
It seems here lately, that we have been attacked by all manner of disease. You know those little green blob people on the Mucinex commercial? Yep, they've moved in! I am hoping that there is an end in sight. I have lysoled my house several times, washed all blankets in hot water, disenfected the tv remotes (they are the most touched item after all) and forced fluids into every willing mouth. I am tired. The children that have recovered from their illnesses have gone back to reaking havoc. The one who is the worst off, can't seem to remove himself from the couch long enough to brush his teeth or put on a clean pair of socks. We have not done any schoolwork for a week and I'm starting to feel the pressure. I know this is one of those "seasons" that people talk about and it will soon pass. Until then, I am overloading on chocolate, and watching alot of movies. I hope all of you internets are healthy!
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Our Decor...It Is So Fabulous!....
No doubt by now, you have deduced from our frequent family conversations, that Joshua is rather humorous. This isn't always on purpose, but it just seems to work out that way. For example, this past week we had to make a trip to the vets office with the newest member of our herd. Chaz, our cocker puppy seems to have managed to create a hairline fracture in his knee. This required hours of my time and hords of my money, but anyway....back to the story. While we were enjoying being cooped in a small room that smelled of disenfectant and previous visitors, Josh noticed a jar on the counter containing a dog heart that had been afflicted with heartworms. This is fascinating stuff I tell you. That little jar alone accounted for much conversation involving hearts, dogs and worms. As Josh studied the rather grotesque, 500 year old looking, piece of dogs anatomy floating in formaldahyde, it occured to him that this could happen to his precious puppy. The conversation went something like this...
Josh: Does Chaz have heartworms?
Me: No.
Josh: Why?
Me: Because he takes medicine that kills them.
Josh: Can heartworms kill Chaz? (Obviously ignoring me)
Me: Yes, but he doesn't have them so you don't have to worry 'bout that.
Josh: If he dies will we cut out his heart and put it in a jar for decoration?
Me: No.
Apparently he has been so impressed by my decorating skills that he feels it would surely add to our home's ambience if we kept dog hearts in jars on our counters. Oh the wonderful legacy I must be leaving to my children........
Josh: Does Chaz have heartworms?
Me: No.
Josh: Why?
Me: Because he takes medicine that kills them.
Josh: Can heartworms kill Chaz? (Obviously ignoring me)
Me: Yes, but he doesn't have them so you don't have to worry 'bout that.
Josh: If he dies will we cut out his heart and put it in a jar for decoration?
Me: No.
Apparently he has been so impressed by my decorating skills that he feels it would surely add to our home's ambience if we kept dog hearts in jars on our counters. Oh the wonderful legacy I must be leaving to my children........
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Why Yes, She is a Blonde!....
Today, for no apparent reason, Katy decided to ask her daddy a most profound question. "How do blind people drive?" I will spare you the smart alecky answer her father gave her, as it might be offensive to people who are sight challenged. Let's just say she has a few challenges of her own mainly being oblivious to the obvious!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
In Which He Will Need an Open Account With LL Bean....
Today, as we were doing more extreme demolition in our house, six year old Josh was inspired to discuss his future career choices. He said maybe he'd like to be a fireman or an artist. I suggested a doctor or engineer. We discussed all of these options and what each occupation involved. He also thought maybe he would like to work with snakes. I reassured him that he had plenty of time to decide. He agreed but said he still likes to think about it. After some silent introspection he finally suggested that maybe he should be a hypothermia! I guess I can spend that college fund on some new shoes for me!
Friday, January 4, 2008
The Making of a Man....
When I look at my son it is sometimes very hard to define what I see. One day it might be a goofy kid wrestling with his little brother the next it could be a know-it-all teenager who thinks I just arrived on the stupid bus. Yesterday, I saw something that made my heart swell with pride and also brought a little tinge of sadness to my soul. I saw a man. Yes he is only fourteen, but sometimes age makes no difference. The first sign was when we were listening to a song on the radio that said something like she walks into the club and everybody's looking at her. I jokingly said that's how it is for me...everywhere I go people are looking at me. I thought I was being pretty funny, however he quickly and very maturely pointed out that people do look at me when we are out. It wasn't a people look at you because you are weird kind of statement, but a genuine concern coming from his heart. It made me realize that he is watching out for his mother's well being, and that is as it should be.
Later, he asked me if I had ever been deeply affected by a video game. I don't play video games so the answer would be no. I asked him what he meant, and he proceeded to tell me about a scene in one of his war type games where people are being killed and there is no way out for them. It made his heartache and brought tears to his eyes at the reality of the situation. Some might see this as a weakness, I see it as a great strength! Do we want our men to be hardened with no concern for fellow man or do we want them to have a heart for human life and the plight of others? I will definitely choose the later. It is difficult for boys these days to be sensitive. The world tells them this is uncool. I would much rather have a man that can show emotion, than one that cannot.
The final glimpse of manhood that I witnessed yesterday may seem silly to some, but it was another reminder to me of his maturity and the way he cares for everything around him. A little bird had become trapped on our porch and Tyler tried for 20 minutes to shoo it outside only to watch our stealthy cat leap with open mouth to devour the bird. He them proceeded to chase the cat across the yard to rescue the bird. Do you know how many people I know that would think the bird being eaten was funny? It is more than I can count on two hands.
I know what our society says about the making of a man. They need to be good looking, muscle bound hunks that are cool and have an attitude of indifference. That is not what I want for my sons. I want them to always look after the ones they love. I want them to have broken hearts over hurting human souls and I want them to do whatever they can to protect and appreciate God's creation. That is what makes a man in my eyes!
Later, he asked me if I had ever been deeply affected by a video game. I don't play video games so the answer would be no. I asked him what he meant, and he proceeded to tell me about a scene in one of his war type games where people are being killed and there is no way out for them. It made his heartache and brought tears to his eyes at the reality of the situation. Some might see this as a weakness, I see it as a great strength! Do we want our men to be hardened with no concern for fellow man or do we want them to have a heart for human life and the plight of others? I will definitely choose the later. It is difficult for boys these days to be sensitive. The world tells them this is uncool. I would much rather have a man that can show emotion, than one that cannot.
The final glimpse of manhood that I witnessed yesterday may seem silly to some, but it was another reminder to me of his maturity and the way he cares for everything around him. A little bird had become trapped on our porch and Tyler tried for 20 minutes to shoo it outside only to watch our stealthy cat leap with open mouth to devour the bird. He them proceeded to chase the cat across the yard to rescue the bird. Do you know how many people I know that would think the bird being eaten was funny? It is more than I can count on two hands.
I know what our society says about the making of a man. They need to be good looking, muscle bound hunks that are cool and have an attitude of indifference. That is not what I want for my sons. I want them to always look after the ones they love. I want them to have broken hearts over hurting human souls and I want them to do whatever they can to protect and appreciate God's creation. That is what makes a man in my eyes!
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Ushering in the New Year....
So here we are in 2008! I'm still trying to figure out how 2007 ended so quickly. It seems that each year goes by faster than the previous one.....momma said there'd be years like this! Because Brian and I are so social and such hard party animals we spent New Year's Eve at home watching football, overdosing on cold medicine and falling asleep on the couch! Rock On 2008!! I would have liked to at least watch the ball drop, but you know once you take Tylenol, Dayquil and squirt a little Afrin up your nose there's no point in even attempting to stay awake.
Today will be our family New Year celebration. We will eat black eyed peas (this is a must if you are southern) and deep fried turkey with all of our local relatives. Then we will all sit around stuffed and satisfied and talk about all manner of important things from what movies we should watch to if it's really going to snow tomorrow and most importantly....FOOTBALL!
We are a house divided as I have mentioned before. Both of our teams will be playing in bowl games today and the lines will be drawn. I'm very glad they aren't playing each other, all though it makes for some mighty good "conversation" ahem!
I am looking forward to the new year. It is always interesting to see what life will bring. Hopefully our year will be filled with family and friends, good health and not to much trauma with all of the remodeling we need to do in our house! I hope all of you who read this blog will have a very blessed year as well!
Today will be our family New Year celebration. We will eat black eyed peas (this is a must if you are southern) and deep fried turkey with all of our local relatives. Then we will all sit around stuffed and satisfied and talk about all manner of important things from what movies we should watch to if it's really going to snow tomorrow and most importantly....FOOTBALL!
We are a house divided as I have mentioned before. Both of our teams will be playing in bowl games today and the lines will be drawn. I'm very glad they aren't playing each other, all though it makes for some mighty good "conversation" ahem!
I am looking forward to the new year. It is always interesting to see what life will bring. Hopefully our year will be filled with family and friends, good health and not to much trauma with all of the remodeling we need to do in our house! I hope all of you who read this blog will have a very blessed year as well!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
and GO VOLS!
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