There's a Fish in the Toothbrush Holder

Shine Your Light and Rock the Air Guitar!....

2009-01-22T09:08:00.002-05:00

The other night, Brian and I had the privilege of attending an Eagles concert. Let me just say....it was SO FREAKIN' AWESOME! I have always enjoyed the Eagles. When their songs would come on the radio I would sing along or tap my foot or something like that. Brian, however, is a little different. How I feel about Oreos is how Brian feels about the Eagles. They are the air he breathes...the blood in his veins...the sun in his sky....in other words, he likes 'em!

When he found out they would be doing a concert in town he could think of nothing else. He looked at tickets...too much money. He looked at tickets again...don't really want to spend the money. This scenario went on for a month. I finally took the matter into my own hands, surprised him, and bought tickets.

I'll pause for a moment while you give me a standing ovation and cheer my wonderfulness...

Alrighty then....

So we arrived at the concert Tuesday night after what seemed like a 200 mile hike from the parking garage. We then proceeded to snake our way through the crowd of fans buying $40 T-shirts and $20 programs until we reached our seats. After stopping my nose bleed brought on by the effects of high altitude, I sent Brian back down the mountain for some snacks.

While he was fulfilling my need for sustenance in the form of chocolate, I began to people watch. Yes, I admit it, I'm a people watcher. Please don't confuse me with one of those annoying types on the bench at the mall that makes it their duty to stare at you, no, I'm much more discreet. I notice details about people, and wonder what makes them act the way they do. For instance, why didn't the lady with a cane buy floor seats? Or, why would you wear a tank top to a concert in the middle of winter? Things like that.

The concert got under way and in case I didn't mention before, it was about THREE MILLION KINDS OF WONDERFUL!

I continued my people watching while enjoying Joe Walsh rock out on the guitar.
There was the woman who obviously had been filled with some kind of spirit, and I'm not talking Holy here people. She was so inspired by the musical goodness coming from the stage, that she felt the need to yell "raise h*ll" every five minutes. This is not a Kid Rock concert lady, there are old people here! She continued with this magical form of cheering until she was escorted out by the lovely men in blue.

There was the woman sitting two seats down from us who actually needed two seats of her own. She played the air guitar for the entire three hour gig. It was a sight to behold!

But by far my favorite was the man sitting below us. He had long scraggly hair and a beard to match. It's possible that he was a former ZZ Top band member. His Harley Davidson jacket and tight black jeans told me that he was indeed there to enjoy him some tunes. I figured that this was not his first trip down memory lane with the Eagles. However, when he brought out his lighter and ignited the flame, waving it in the air for all the concert goers to see, I could hardly contain my emotions. Here, amongst the throng of 20,000 Eagles lovers, was the one token "lighter guy". When cell phones and flash bulbs were going off by the thousands, he was content to shine his light. I think it's possible that he has seen a tequila sunrise or two...........

Josh isms....

2008-12-21T07:58:00.003-05:00

If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you know that I get a good deal of my material from Josh. It's not that I'm exploiting him, it's just that he's so dang funny!

For instance, a couple weeks ago, he was wanting a glass of orange juice. I went to the fridge to fix it for him and he stopped me with a concerned look on his face. "It's not the kind with pus in it, is it mom?" Pus!? In orange juice!? I was a little shocked and grossed out until I figured out that he was talking about pulp! Pus, pulp, same thing right?

Last night, as I was tucking him into bed, he asked me if we had any super glue in the house. Now, when a seven year old boy asks you for super glue, many alarms, loud bells, flashing red lights and other warning signs flash before your eyes! No good could possibly come from giving him super glue! I calmly asked him what he needed it for. He proceeded to explain to me how every night while he is sleeping his pillow falls off of his bed, the obvious solution to this problem was to super glue it down! Ofcourse! Why didn't I think of that?!

So here's to Josh...the provider of all good blog fodder!

I Wish I Knew Her Name...

2008-12-16T11:53:00.004-05:00

Her lonely face swept through my dreams last night. This girl was still so young but seemed to have no feeling. How could a child become so hardened and indifferent? After all, we were there with tons of toys, games, and gifts of all kinds. Any child would be excited and anxious to receive what were offering. Not this child.

Yesterday, as our large chartered bus drove into the small Kentucky town, I knew that my life was about to change. The houses were old, and battered. The creek was garbage lined. The school that was "our mission" was at the end of a long road. It was a small building that had a peculiar smell as we entered. Inside this building were 400 children waiting for our arrival. For many of them, this would be the only Christmas they would experience.

As the bleachers of the gym became filled with smiling faces and buzzing voices became louder, my heart became larger and heavier. How sad, I thought, to have a room filled with impoverished children. What must their lives be like? Do they have enough to eat? Are they warm at night while they sleep?

Children were assigned to all of us that had come to help. As this girl approached me, I was rehearsing what I would say to her. How could I put her at ease? I wanted to be her friend. It never occurred to me that she would want nothing to do with me.

I asked her name. She would not answer. I introduced myself and she stared at me blankly. I asked her if there was anything that she was hoping to find there today and what she wanted for Christmas. No response.

I didn't know what to do. Here was a beautiful young girl, who even when presented with her choice of many wonderful things, still would not let herself be happy. My heart ached for her. Was she really that void of emotion? Was her young life hopeless?

After several minutes of trying desperately to have some communication with her, I finally asked if I could choose some things for her and put them in her bag. She shrugged her shoulders. I carefully chose gifts that I hoped she would like. I wanted her to have happiness. I longed to see her smile.

When we were finished I walked her back to the bleachers. I told her that it had been wonderful to meet her and that I hoped she had a Merry Christmas. She climbed up the steps and sat down with her bag. She did not smile. I watched her for awhile to see if she was going to open her bag and look at what I had put in it. She never did. She sat alone and then left with her class.

I left Kentucky yesterday filled with a mix of compassion and sadness. I had walked many children through the treasure lined tables. Most of them were happy and excited to pick out their gifts. But even through the joy of these children I could not get my mind off that lonely girl. What was she doing last night while I was dreaming about her? Will she be there next year when I go back? Will I ever get to know her name?.........

Girl Interrupted....

2008-11-25T15:28:00.005-05:00

I'm a girl who likes to be in control of her situation. Please try to hold yourself together it's... shocking I know! Lately however, it seems that every time I make plans they are interrupted. Why is this? It's not that my plans aren't valid or important. They aren't going to harm anyone. They just don't come to pass.

It is difficult to give up my control. It makes me feel vulnerable and at risk. What if I don't get to do the things that I feel are so important? What if my goals are never attained? What will I do? How will I cope? Will my life be forever marred by the day that my shopping plans got changed or by the fact that we didn't finish an algebra lesson? Will I live a life of regret because the fish bowl was left with a ring of scum around it?

These plans that I make are all important to me, but are they really the most important plans? The only thing that's going to suffer by my blocked goals is possibly the fish! What I really need to be asking myself is what plans does God want me to make. How would He have me use my time? Is the time that I am going to spend shopping going to interfere with time I should be using for Him?

I have been studying Paul recently. Talk about your blocked plans. Here was a man that shopped when he wanted, never missed an algebra lesson, and had an impeccably clean fish bowl. He was well educated, held a highly respected position, had an abundance of "frequent donkey miles", and still found the time to persecute and stone Christians.

God obviously had better plans!

When Paul's life was interrupted on the road to Damascus, his plans and perspective changed. He went from making his own plans to giving his all for the plans of the Lord! How convicting!

I am hoping that God doesn't feel the need to strike me blind on the road! (especially since i would be driving) My prayer is that whatever plans He may have for me, that I would be a willing participant, that I would not be aggravated that they interfere with my clean fish bowl. We so often wander through our lives concerned about such petty things. It's time that I got focused on the eternal!

Give Me Liberty!....

2008-11-05T09:19:00.002-05:00

This morning, as I reflected on the election results, I was tempted to be discouraged. I also thought for a moment that I should pack up my family and move to Antarctica for the next four years.
However, when I really think about what happened yesterday, I have nothing to do except count my blessings.
I was born into a free country!
I was able to drive my own car from my own house whenever I wanted yesterday and stand in line to vote for whomever I choose!
I was able to homeschool my children!
I was able to go to my sister's birthday party without anyone questioning my motives!
I was able to sleep soundly in my bed. No one knocked on my door and threatened my family because of my beliefs!
Praise God!
Was the man who was elected my choice? No. Does that mean that I should not be thankful? No.
I am extremely thankful that our new president will be a man who was elected by the people of this nation.
I am extremely thankful that this man was not appointed for me, or is in this position because of his military threats and power.
Right now, as I am sitting in my cushy home typing these words, there are millions of people throughout the world that are suffering at the hands of their leaders. They have no say in their government. The choices they make in their everday lives are closely monitored and dictated for them. They risk their lives and those of their families if they do not conform to the mandates of the people in power over them.
Today, as a proud American, I am counting my blessings! Freedom is worth far more than my opinion!

Remember Me?....

2008-10-12T18:06:00.003-04:00

Hello? tap, tap, tap Anybody in there? I know I've been gone for almost a month, but please tell me you didn't forget me!
Quite honestly over the last few weeks I have been trying to decide what to do about this here blog. I enjoy telling the whole entire internet all about our lives, but it seems that lately I've had nothing to say. Don't get me wrong, it's not like things haven't been happening around here. We've had school, and rabbit raising, and Brian finally getting back to a normal work schedule. We've even had Josh learning how to swim "star wars style". One million points to the person who can figure out what that means.
For all five of you who are my loyal blog readers, I want to say thanks for hangin' in there. To the rest of you...I want to say whateva!
I'm going to keep the blog going for now. I might not be posting on a regular basis, but I don't want to give it up just yet.
So keep checking in, and hopefully I'll see ya soon!

Quick Post Cause I've Got No Time....

2008-09-15T11:24:00.002-04:00

Well we are back from a week at the beach! It was wonderful, refreshing and fun!! Of course now that we are home we have to get back to the daily grind. UGH!

This week should be busy. We need to get back into school, clean the house, and tomorrow we are going to pick up our killer rabbits.

Hopefully I will have some vacation and bunny pics to share in the next couple days. Until then...SEE YA!

No Words....

2008-09-02T08:11:00.004-04:00

Because this happened last night, I will now fling myself from the peak of Rocky Top!

Flopsy, Mopsy and That Really Big One With No Name....

2008-08-23T11:06:00.005-04:00

We are venturing into a new realm around here. The kids have decided to take up 4H. I am actually very excited about this, mostly because I've always dreamed of having a farm. However, we do not live on a farm. We live in a nicely manicured subdivision. This obviously limits our choices for animal projects.

My children are very resourceful however, and were able to come up with the perfect animal project for the suburban family. Rabbits. You know, those sweet little cuddly balls of fluff that are just so cute? Yes rabbits. I agreed that this was the perfect plan (envisioning dwarf bunnies). So the kids began researching types of rabbits and their care. They finally decided on a breed.

FLEMISH GIANTS!

Did you get the GIANT part of that? These rabbits will grow to be larger than my dog. They can reach 28 pounds...you know, just a little lighter than me. They require a large cage of course, that will have to be built. They also require more food and more cleanup. This information has not deterred the rabbit olympic hopefuls. They are going for the gold in this rabbit project.

Incidentally, I have no idea who the guy in the picture is, but he obviously runs some kind of Flemish Giant Army. Do you see the size of that thing? Are you feeling my pain?...

As we have looked at picture after picture of the very large specimens, I have been pondering some things in my heart. Kind of like when Mary was pregnant with Jesus, but not. Anyhoo...

First, do giant rabbits like people for dinner? If these rabbits are almost the size of me, will they see me as a tasty snack?

Second, isn't the word rabbit awfully close to rabid? Hmmm....

And lastly, this is where you come in my dear internets, what do you name a GIANT rabbit? Cottontail and Freckles don't really seem appropriate. Killer and Demon would seem more fitting.

All this to say, we want some help naming our FLEMISH GIANTS. So leave me a comment and give us your suggestions! Some names we've considered are SUR short for Sport Utility Rabbit, GOLIATH which just implies LARGE, and PEE WEE cause it's funny.

We will be getting these precious pets within the next few weeks, and want to be prepared. So enlighten us with your knowledge, blow us away with your creativity, give us a rabbit name by golly!

And if you never hear from me again....you will find the leftovers in the hutch......

To Sing What They Could Sing....

2008-08-14T08:24:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was one of those days where I needed to be trapped in the car for several hours with antsy children. Thank goodness for the DVD player! But alas you can only watch so many movies and I was tired of them arguing over the remote, so I suggested another activity.

My children have always been very creative and usually have no problem coming up with something to do.

I was not surprised that within a few minutes they had formed a plan that would make me want to throw myself out the window into oncoming interstate traffic.

"Let's practice Christmas songs", I heard from the backseat. Why O why didn't I bring more movies? UGH!!

I guess when you are 6 and 8 it's very important to practice Christmas songs in August, that way you won't be rusty come December.

So after several rounds of Jingle Bells, Deck the Halls, and a very interesting version of Silent Night, I thought they were finished. But....then what to my listening ears should I hear....the suggestion of another song.

"Mom, how's that one go? You know Jesus Went Over the Mountain?" Josh asked in all seriousness.

To which I replied "what in the blazes are you talking about?"! I didn't remember that song from past Christmases. Josh however was insistent that it was his very favorite and he learned it in church.

Then it hit me. He was referring to Go Tell it on the Mountain! Of course!

It's a good thing Mary and Joseph didn't have to carry Jesus over the mountain. They might have run into that pesky bear!

Fresh Air....

2008-08-11T08:25:00.002-04:00

I opened my windows today! Did you hear me people? It's August and I opened my windows! You can't do this if you live in say Florida or Arizona or in some equatorial country.

The weather here has been absolutely beautiful the last couple of days and it makes me crave fall! I'm ready for summer to be over so that I can put out my pumpkins and cheer on my favorite football team! GO VOLS!!

I'm sure that by the end of the week it will be 90 degrees again, and I will be floating in the lake and drinking diet coke to keep myself hydrated. But.... until then, I may start shopping for sweaters!

Good Friends, Good Food, Lotsa Years!....

2008-08-09T14:17:00.005-04:00

Thursday was Brian and my sixteenth anniversary. Sometimes it's hard to believe we've been married that long and other times....not so hard.

So for our anniversary we celebrated with our favorite friends. You might remember my fake twin sister Amy? Well she and her husband Derek share an anniversary with us! Can you believe it? Totally cool!

Anyway, the four of us went to our favorite wing hang out (Wild Wing Cafe) and gobbled down a few unsuspecting chickens. It was a blast!

Here's the funny part. Derek was scheduled to have surgery the next day so they weren't even supposed to be at dinner. Guess what happened while we were there?

Derek won a cruise!!!!!!! Unbelievable!

So not only did we have a wonderful time, but they got a cruise out of the deal!

Man I love those wings!!

A Deer in the Headlights or Buying a New Car....(the final chapter)

2008-08-05T17:03:00.004-04:00

So we drove home, feeling somewhat frustrated but trying to remind ourselves that good things come to those who wait. And wait we did!

The next day, we had several conversations with the dealership. We negotiated numbers and needless to say they were not very happy with our bottom line. After all of our back and forth haggling they decided that they just could not sell us this vehicle for what we were willing to pay. So to that we said okay, we will find a car somewhere else.

Within a couple of hours we got a call back asking us to come in because they think they can work it out!

We drove back to the dealership fully confident that we would be driving our new van home. Confidence is highly overrated.

After 3 hours....yes that's 3 as in one, two, three....we were informed that because Brian works so much overtime, it was making it difficult for the bank to verify his income. Keep in mind that they had several pay stubs and the last two years W2's in front of them. This, we determined, was all part of the game.

They told us that because it was Friday evening, and we were facing the weekend, it would probably be Monday before we would know anything for sure.....UNLESS....
we wanted to put more down to prove that we had a sufficient bank account.

Can you say LIVID!?

We were not putting more money down, and I was not going to play this game anymore. We told them that they could either make the deal or we would be looking elsewhere.

We drove home again. This time I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that we would be looking elsewhere. The sales manager at the dealership had other ideas.
Apparently, sales have been extremely slow and this particular automaker has a year's worth of inventory sitting on car lots throughout America. They are actually at an advantage....some manufacturers have three years worth. Needless to say, they really needed to sell us that van.

Saturday came. It was Katy's birthday, so I was busy. I did not have time to deal with ridiculous deal making and I certainly was not going to go sit at the dealership for an extended length of time...again.

Around 3:00, after several back and forth phone calls, we were told to come get the van. I made it perfectly clear that there would be no more negotiating and that I had a total of 1 hour to spare. That's it!

When we arrived our van was waiting for us. It had been washed and was ready to take home. It looked so nice and shiny in the sunlight!

In a matter of 30 minutes, we had signed papers, and were given the keys. I sat in my brand spanking new Nissan Quest and breathed in the new car smell. It was intoxicating. Driving home was like some kind of dream. It was smooth. Nothing was leaking. The kids were constantly messing with buttons and wondering why I didn't come prepared with a DVD to watch.

My van is now parked in my garage looking all new and sparkly. I keep coming up with excuses to drive it. I know it will not look sparkly for long.....did I mention I have 4 kids?

The car shopping experience was not pleasant. It was stressful and full of a lot of bologna! But, if you can get past all of that, now is a great time to buy. Just stick to your guns, and don't eat the hot dogs....I'm just sayin =).

A Deer in the Headlights or Buying a New Car....(part two)

2008-08-04T13:10:00.002-04:00

So there we were, needing to go to the dealership. It felt somewhat like Daniel being led to the lion's den or Nemo being scooped up by that diver. Anyhoo...

We had decided before we left that we would not be victims! No siree, we knew all about this vehicle, and we knew what we would and would not pay for it. All we wanted to do was take it for a spin and make sure that I felt comfortable.

When we pulled onto the parking lot, it was in the middle of a tsunami. I was thinking this was a plus for us. Afterall, what salesman in their right mind would want to come out in this kind of mess? I was wrong. Right away we were approached by a young guy with a giant umbrella and a much to eager smile on his face. We'll call him J.

J was obviously new at this car selling thing. He couldn't answer all our questions, and he didn't even have his own business cards yet. Score for us! We drove the van, and immediately decided it was the one we wanted!

We presented J with our offer. We knew our stuff. I had written down all facts, figures, rebates and number of hot dogs allowed per customer. All we had to do was wait.

They did all of our paperwork and after about an hour and a half, sweet, inexperienced J came to report to us that all of the lenders were closed for the night and that it would be tomorrow before we could do anything.

I'm pretty sure this was code for I'm new and if I am going to make any money off of you people I need a night to come up with a plan.

A Deer in the Headlights or Buying a New Car....(part one)

2008-08-03T16:47:00.005-04:00

Our trusty minivan has recently been having some health issues. Let's just call it what it is....a terminal illness with no hope for recovery. This obviously has put us in the position of needing a new car.

Now in order to make our car shopping experience perfectly clear to you, I need to give you a little background.

I have been driving a minivan for the last 11 years. I have been desperately wanting a big, road hogging, air polluting SUV so as to establish my coolness on the road. In all of our when we get a new car discussions that has been my preference. Something shiny, loaded with extras and did I mention BIG!

But alas, we ran into a little glitch in my plan. It's called $4.00 a gallon. My hopes for an SUV were fading fast, and we unfortunately did not strike oil in our backyard while digging flower beds. So.....

I became resigned to another minivan.

My minivan research began on the internet, where all research of any value begins. I read all the info, specs, engine parts (which I totally did not understand) and options on all the top models. I had pretty much decided that there were really only two options. These were the only vehicles I would accept and be seen driving in the minivan world.

Then the newspaper came...

There was an ad for a local dealership offering all kinds of rebates, incentives and free hot dogs if you would buy their car. Apparently salesmen are a little desperate these days. There was one problem with this....their minivan was not on my approved list.

Since I like to give all automakers a fair shot, I decided to research this particular van. It looked good. Really good. It had reviews. Really good ones. And it was shiny. Really shiny!

We decided that this would definitely be an option for us. There was one problem....we needed to see it in person.

Where O Where Has My Mojo Gone?....

2008-07-28T08:16:00.005-04:00

To quote a friend....I have lost my mojo. I am feeling drained, zapped of energy and dull. I am restless and discontent and I need to recover NOW! Too many people are depending on me to feed them, clothe them, clean up after them and run my taxi service. My mojo needs to come back.

The work schedule that Brian has been on (7 days a week, 14+ hours a day) has really made my life difficult. I feel like a single parent running on empty. My patience is short and my days are long.

In case you think this sounds like a gripe session and that all I am doing is complaining .....you would be correct. I am griping and complaining and it feels good! Somedays you just need to vent. You just need to tell the entire internet how you feel. I considered doing this in video form on YouTube, but I feared arrest and conviction.

Oh well, this is the situation that we are in right now and there's not really much I can do about it. I guess I need to pull myself up by my bootstraps...or flip flops, and get a grip.

Now where o where could my mojo be?.......

Bikinis, Piercings, and a Good Healthy Diet....

2008-07-25T08:26:00.004-04:00

An afternoon at the city pool can be so enlightening. My friend Amy and I took our herd of children (8 total) to the pool the other day for some fun in the sun. Now let me tell you about Amy. She is my long lost twin that was separated from me at birth, only a couple years older. We are so alike in every way that it's a little freaky....in a good way. I love her and that's all I'll say about that!

So....while at the pool, we started to notice some things that made us feel a little out of place, even inferior, to the other women there.

First, we were not wearing bikinis. Now I haven't worn a bikini since I was 17 and don't plan on starting to wear one anytime soon. Amy felt the same way. The thing was, these women in bikinis were not super models. They were moms, with imperfect bodies, and frankly they should not be wearing anything that exposes that much jiggle! And just in case you think I'm being unkind, I also should not wear anything that exposes my jiggle. See, I hold myself to the same standards.

Secondly, there was an awful lot of navel bling. I don't necessarily think there is anything wrong with poking a hole in your belly button....if that's what floats your boat, but apparently you should only do it if you are 13 or extra jiggly. It makes me hurt just thinking about it. I have always had a sensitive navel.

Tattoos. They were everywhere. Everything from hearts to large scary dragons were flashing their colors and swimming through the waters. I have to say that I happen to like some tattoos. Amy and I even discussed getting matching ones or little ones to express ourselves and show our very tiny rebellious sides. I mean nothing says I'm rebelling like a cute little daisy on your ankle! My fear about the tattoo is that at some point my daisy will look wilted because of skin saggage...

After much people watching, discussion and soul searching, Amy and I decided that we also needed to lose weight. We will do this by eating Nutella. It is made from nuts and that makes it healthy. We might throw in a few hot wings just for good measure.

In the conclusion of our discussion, we realized that if we wanted to fit in at the pool next year, some changes were going to have to take place. We will need to go bikini shopping. Not only will it give us the required swimwear, but I'm sure we would both end up peeing our pants just from the experience. We also should get an extra piercing. The location is debatable. Tattoos will need to be required. Amy said that someone told her that tattoos hurt. This made us laugh. We have both given birth to 4 children. Nothing hurts!

And lastly with our weight loss plan of Nutella and hot wings, we should both have the proper body type to flaunt our new found fabulousness at the pool.
Summer.... tis the season of revelation......

Baby Got Back!....

2008-07-15T07:24:00.004-04:00

He's home! We picked Tyler up from the airport around 8:45 last night. I have to say the sight of him walking toward me was so much better than the one of him walking away! After two weeks in the Bahamas he was slightly exhausted. I know, I know, how can the Bahamas be that exhausting?

He built a firehouse....

He layed concrete.....

He built trusses....

He did roofing....

That would exhaust me! He also had the oppportunity to play with a group of kids and teach them a little about Jesus.

I'm not going to talk about his free time where he apparently jumped from a 25 foot high cliff into a bottomless hole in the ocean. And thankfully he did not need emergency care for discovering he was allergic to shellfish, or hacking his fingers with a machete while trying to split open a coconut. (real things that happened to other kids)

I'm sure I will be sharing lots of stories as I hear them in the days to come. Right now I'm just savoring having my baby back as he sleeps soundly upstairs.

If You Give a Kid a Weapon....

2008-07-08T06:44:00.004-04:00

Josh has taken up fencing for the summer. This is not fencing like putting up a fence or painting a fence or climbing a fence. This is the actual sport of fencing......you know, En Garde! Apparently he saw a fencing match on one of those fabulous Disney channel sitcoms that we cannot escape from, and decided this was the sport for him. Now let me explain something about Josh. He has opted out of several sports because he doesn't want people to look at him. This is always a confusing fact for me since he seems to regularly draw attention to himself, but whatever.

Anyhoo....

After spending a week or more trying to locate a fencing instructor, (apparently it's not that popular), we were able to start lessons. Now you might be saying to yourself, "self, don't people look at you in fencing?" and you would be correct. The difference is you wear a mask, so you are basically incognito! The mask by the way is at least 10 times bigger than Josh's head.

The big draw for Josh though isn't the mask, or the somewhat weird french terms. Oh no siree....it's the SWORD! That's right, I bought my 6 year old a sword! Can you say mother of the year?!!

Technically it's called a foil (weird french), and it doesn't have a pointy tip. However, a non pointy tipped foil in the hands of a very zealous 6 year old could still have a few unpleasant ramifications. Safety first!

So for the summer we get to watch the class of four students (I mentioned it wasn't very popular) advance, retreat, lunge and fake stab each other. It really is quite amusing. I don't know how long Josh will stick with it. Right now it is his entire world. Who knows, he could be the next Olympic champion! What do you think?

I Think We're Ready!....

2008-07-03T07:16:00.006-04:00

See all these explosives sitting on my kitchen table? You know, the ones with TNT stamped on them? Well this is what my biggest child (i.e. Brian) spent money on last night!

I'm pretty sure that July 4th is his favorite holiday. I mean when else can you blow things up legally? There is no greater joy than attempting to light your neighborhood on fire with 5000 small explosives....right? Here's the kicker, he has already shot some of them off and we haven't even officially reached the holiday! I wouldn't be surprised if he came home today with more, after all they are buy one get one free. How come that never works when I'm shoe shopping?!

And He's Off!....

2008-07-01T14:12:00.004-04:00

This morning I watched, with a knot in my stomach, as my firstborn walked away from me toward security at the airport. He is headed to the Bahamas for a mission trip with our church youth group. As he stood there with his friends (who are all taller than he is) waiting to go, I could tell he was both excited and nervous. All of the months of preparation, hard work and training had finally brought him to the point of departure. He has spent countless hours studying, doing yard work for neighbors and washing cars. I am extremely proud of him! He told me the other day that he thinks that God might be calling him to missions....did I mention I'm extremely proud of him!!

I don't know what the next two weeks will bring for him. It will be hard work, hot weather and uncomfortable. He will have no air conditioned living room to play video games in. He won't be able to hop in the car and go see a movie with his friends, and he won't have a cell phone attached to his ear. It will be good for him. I am praying that God will use Tyler and his team in a mighty way over the course of this trip. I want him to be stretched and have a need to be dependent on God for his strength. I hope that you will join me in this prayer for him and for his safety.

If you want you can pray for me too....I miss him already!

Yummy Cesear Salads!....

2008-06-26T07:05:00.004-04:00

I'm lovin' all of the fun summer blog carnivals and swaps! Today Big Mama is asking us to share our favorite summer recipes. I don't know about you, but turning on the oven or even the grill when it's 90+ degrees outside is not very appealing to me, so cool alternatives are always welcome in my kitchen!

My family loves Cesear Salads, so I like to doctor them up with a little meat to make it more filling.

Just tear up some lettuce, iceberg works best. Throw in whatever leftover meat you have, chicken and steak are our favorites. (make sure the meat has been sliced and chilled) Toss in some parmesan cheese, croutons and your favorite Cesear dressing and VOILA! you have a yummy cold summer meal.

The key for the best chilled salad is to put it in the freezer for about 10 minutes before serving. This makes it crunchy and extra cold.

Throw some bread on the table and you are done! Mmm Mmm Good....Enjoy!!

Don't Push Me People!....

2008-06-25T09:06:00.003-04:00

Recently, my son Tyler, opened a Facebook account. We decided to go with Facebook rather than MySpace for security and content reasons. So.... he got on there, did whatever it is you have to do to sign up, and within a couple of hours was conversing with his gajillion friends. It actually is quite amazing when you think about it.
However, there was a little glitch....
The next day when he went to log on, his account had been disabled. This was puzzling. He followed the link to the "explanation" page and guess what it said...go ahead, guess....ok I'll just tell you. It said, sorry you can't be on here cause you're homeschooled. I'm paraphrasing here, but that's the main gist of it.
As you can imagine he was more than a little upset and my other personality started to show. (that would be the one that breathes fire and has snakes for hair) I promptly sent them an email kindly explaining that I felt they were discriminating against my son and other homeschoolers and how I felt that we should not be excluded because of our educational choices. Then we waited....
Several days later I received a response. It went something like this:
We're sorry, but for security purposes we can only correspond with the actual account holder. Please have your son send us an email from his account expressing his concerns.
Thank you,
Mr. Techy Support Guy who is probably making you really angry.
Ok, I made that last part up, but he might as well have signed it that way.
People, did I mention that my son is a minor? That's right, he's underage in all 50 states! He can't vote, drink, drive or receive medical care without my signature, however I cannot do email correspondence on his behalf to a major corporation?! (insert snake hair!)
So I did what any fire breathing, snake haired mother would do. I sent the email from his address. It was kind of like a secret identity thing...I knew it was from me, but they didn't. Clever huh? Again we waited...
This time it only took a few hours to get a response. Guess what they said. Go ahead guess...nevermind I'll just tell you again.
We have reactivated your account. The reason it was disabled was because you were sending friends requests to people you didn't know. In the future please only send requests to people you know.
Thank you,
Mr. Techy Support Guy, is your mom still breathing fire?
Again I'm paraphrasing, but you get the point. How in the holy schmoly did they go from you can't be on here cause you're homeschooled to don't talk to people you don't know? How do they know who his friends are? And incidentally, his friends list consisted of every single kid in the church youth group, his nana, aunts and uncles, and oh yeah me! Maybe they felt he shouldn't be talking to fire breathing, snake for hair people.
I'm glad the incident is settled even though I feel like they were copping out by not facing the original homeschool issue! It was a good lesson for Tyler in standing up and fighting for what you believe in.

Confetti, Poppy Thingys, and Hoorah!....

2008-06-24T07:16:00.002-04:00

So I just wanted to give a big SHOUT OUT!! to all of you who left comments on my room! Thanks so much for the encouragement and humor! It was great to read some of your blogs for the first time and I look forward to getting to know you better!

It's Definitely Not Perfect....

2008-06-16T07:41:00.006-04:00

So Nester, one of my favorite blogs, is hosting a "It Doesn't Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful" carnival? party? We'll just call it a thingy! Anyhoo....

This room has been my second biggest frustration for the past 6 months. When we started it was supposed to take 1 month, then Brian's work schedule changed (my first biggest frustration) and we are still working on it with no end in sight. However, even through the frustration I can see it's potential beauty.

For example, the paint color is so yummy it makes me want to lick the walls. We have already picked out the new carpet. But more important than the superficial beauty, I can picture the beauty of family memories that will take place in this room. Parties, holidays, and game nights will eventually warm it's barren atmosphere. I get excited just thinking about it.

Now if I could just get the boys to take the body target out of the window!!!!!!!!!!!!

Father's Day Tears....

2008-06-14T15:31:00.004-04:00

My father was a great man. He loved the Lord with all of his heart, soul and mind, and he was deeply committed to his family. He was a hard worker and a loyal friend. He was a man of his word. I have so many precious memories of him embedded into the very threads of my life. He was my hero. I loved it when he would call me his sugar bear, and tell me that my dresses were pretty. Or the time when he surprised me with a Cabbage Patch Doll when there were none to be found on store shelves. He filled every family event and holiday with laughter. He gave the loudest applause at my dance recitals. He cried when my dog was hit by a car. He built the best campfires.
All of these things are wonderful to think about and reflect on, they are irreplaceable memories. However, there are two memories of my father that are more precious to me than any other. The first is when I was in sin and he took me in his arms and loved me. As I sobbed and confessed he loved me. I had broken his heart and he loved me. The second happened the day he died. It was a difficult day for me. I was depressed, and very wrapped up in myself. Nothing in my life seemed to be going well. My mother (my other hero) was taking me off for the day, and the last thing that my father said to her that morning was "let's pray for Danielle". The last thing my parents did together was pray for me!
There is no way I could ever begin to describe what that meant to me then and what it still means to me now, four years later. When we left that day we had no way of knowing that we would not be seeing my father again, he had no way of knowing he would not be seeing us. But the thing that was always in the forefront of his mind was what was best for his family.
I miss my daddy so much. I miss the smell of him, I miss his smile, I even miss his not so great harmonica playing. I wish I could tell him how much I love him and how much I appreciate his love for me.
My father was a great man. He showed me Christ.

Dating My Daughters Part 2....

2008-05-31T07:39:00.002-04:00

Brian's rules for dating his daughters....

1. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

2. You do not touch my daughter. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

3. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, an I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

4. I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

5. It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is : "early".

6. I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is ok with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

7. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful like changing the oil in my car?

8. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, t-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic theme are to be avoided. Movies with chain saws are okay. Hockey games are ok. Old folks homes are better.

9. Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing , merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

10. Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

It appears that they will never be leaving home....sigh.....

Dating My Daughters Part 1....

2008-05-30T20:31:00.003-04:00

Brian's application for dating his daughters....

Name:

Date of Birth:

Height:

Weight:

IQ:

GPA:

Social Security #:

Drivers License:

Boy Scout Rank and Badges:

Home Address:

Do you have parents? yes or no

Is one male and the other female? yes or no

If no, explain:

Number of years they have been married:

If less than your age, explain:

Accessories

Do you own or have access to a van? yes or no

A truck with over sized tires? yes or no

A waterbed? yes or no

A pickup with a mattress in the back? yes or no

A tattoo? yes or no

Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? yes or no

If you answered yes to any of the above, discontinue application and leave premises immediately. I suggest running.

Essay

In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does "DON"T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

References

Church you attend?

How often do you attend?

When would be the best time to interview your:

father?

mother?

pastor?

Short answer

If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be:

A woman's place is in the:

The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

What do you want to do IF you grow up?

When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

What is the current going rate of a hotel room?

I swear that all information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, native american ant torture, crucifixion, electrocution, chinese water torture, red hot pokers, and Hillary Clinton kiss torture.

Applicant's signature (that's you moron)

Mother's signature

Father's signature

Pastor/Priest/Rabbi:

State Representative/Congressman:

Than you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)

Stirring My Heart Today....

2008-05-29T15:25:00.001-04:00

Point Your Toes and Break a Leg....

2008-05-29T07:48:00.002-04:00

This week is dance recital. For those of you caught up in the "tutu trap" you know exactly what that means. Endless rehearsals, sewing, laundry and cranky kids. I have spent the last 9 months driving to another town two days a week, in order for my girls to have good training. This has involved countless hours of my time, money, and patience. But we have reached the culmination! This weekend will be filled with beautiful (and ridiculously expensive) costumes, makeup, hair and so much sequins even a princess could not compete! For three and a half minutes they will take the stage, the spotlights will shine on their smiling faces, they will be the prima ballerinas of their classes and then.....thunderous applause! There will be shouting and hooting from various parents. Cameras will be flashing and videos running to capture every moment. And then when all is said and done they will be given large bouquets of roses and taken out for ice cream. I don't know how life could be any better..... maybe it's time for me to take dance again!

There's a New Kid in Town!....

2008-05-26T07:29:00.002-04:00

If you are looking for a fun and fresh new blog to read, look no further than Singing Blue Turtles! The writer is very talented, super spunky and rather adorable! Of course I may be slightly partial since I gave birth to her, however she's still really good! Check her out!!

A Long "Tail" With a Happy Ending....

2008-05-20T16:54:00.008-04:00

Once upon a time, there lived a sweet suburban family. In the family was a handsome and dedicated father, a sensible and beautiful mother and four very adorable children. This family desperately wanted a small dog of their own. They had had a few unfortunate encounters with family dogs and really wanted one that they could have forever. The mother of the family spent time researching breeds and checking newspapers and online sites, hoping to find their perfect companion. Would they choose a purebred from a breeder or adopt a mutt from the shelter? These questions were circling through their modest abode on a daily basis. However, the family could not predict the twists and turns that their dog hunt would take.

Meanwhile, two sweet little dogs were wandering the family's neighborhood. They were uncollared, unidentified and seemed to be unwanted. Of course they made their way to the home of the dog-loving family. The children fell instantly in love with these two little pups. The mother was concerned because she knew they belonged to someone else.

Day after day the two would show up on the family's doorstep longing for attention. The family played with them, watered them and some members even snuck them food. The children
begged to keep them, but the very sensible mother kept saying "I'm sorry, but they don't belong to us".

After several days of loving on these two pitiful creatures, the family decided that the time was right to get their own dog. They had chosen to adopt one from the shelter. Everyone was excited and wanted to go right away, but this particular day was a busy one with lots of errands to run and things to do. They would not be home that day. The shelter would have to wait until tomorrow. So the errands were run and the things were done and the conversation was mostly about their sweet little stray buddies.

The next morning the mother and children piled into the car and went to the animal shelter. This particular shelter had two adoption rooms. One for dogs that were ready to go that day, and one for dogs that had been picked up as strays and were waiting for a wayward owner to claim them. The family walked through the first room, looking at each eager face. Their fingers were licked and their ears were ringing from all of the barking. They entered the second room, wondering what wonderful friends could be awaiting them. The mother was bombarded by "I want this one, oh mommy how bout this one!", but remember, she was sensible and looked carefully at each prospect. They were approaching the end of the kennels when the children suddenly became uncontainably excited. There, in the second to last run were their neighborhood friends. The mother couldn't believe it and the children were bursting with joy. How could this be? The sensible mother spoke to the lady that was taking care of the dogs and told her the story of these two babies. The lady was touched by the story and wished she could let the family take them right away. Unfortunately, they had been brought in to the shelter the day before (when the family wasn't home) and therefore would have to stay for five days in case their owner wanted them back.

The family accepted this, knowing in their hearts that these were to be their dogs. The children were anxious to share the news with their father. He, also being very sensible, was not sure that two dogs would be appropriate for the family. It would be extra to take care of and extra expense, but the mother and children just knew that these dogs were meant for them. The father, also being very loving, decided to go along with the other family members and allow them to pursue the adoption of both dogs.

The big question now was would their owner come and claim them? The wait was near unbearable. Every day was spent wondering. The mother called the shelter on the third day, and they were still there. Two days to go. The fourth day came and the mother called again. The sweet lady was excited to tell her that the dogs were still there. She told the mother that they could come to the shelter the next morning and take them home.

The family was feverish with excitement. They went to the store and purchased supplies, they argued about names, and they talked continuously about what life would be like with their new friends. The children went to bed that night excited. In their prayers they asked God to protect their new buddies until they could get there to rescue them. The house was heavy with anticipation.

The next day finally arrived. The family was up early making sure everything was ready and in order before going to get their new friends. The sensible mother gave the children a long talking to about how to behave at the shelter and how to act once the dogs arrived home. Really they knew nothing about these dogs except that they were friendly. The mother had many questions running through her mind. Would they behave in the house? Were they housebroken? Would this turn out to be a disaster?

The drive to the shelter seemed to take extra time, and everyone was very anxious. The children rushed in and begged to see their dogs while the sensible mother filled out the paperwork. The shelter workers were delighted that the story had a happy ending, they have so many that aren't. The beaming children carried their new charges to the car and sat patiently while the mother drove home. The precious cargo was brought into the house, given baths, new collars and leashes and of course chew toys. The family spent the day loving on them and getting to know them. It couldn't have been a better ending to their long and twisted "tail".

And for those of you who have your doubts as to whether this story is true or just some elaborate fairy tale, I'd like to introduce you to MILO and ROCKY....

The sweetest little rescues ever!

Not Exactly a Whole Lotta Nothin Goin On!....

2008-05-08T09:42:00.002-04:00

What I wouldn't give for a few days of peace! Right now Brian is working 7 days a week, the girls are getting ready for their dance recital, and my house is still falling apart because we have had no time to finish our remodel. And since I'm a glutton for punishment, my mom and I held a garage sale last weekend in hopes that we would become rich and be able to move to the Caribbean. Obviously it didn't work. To say that I am overspent would be an understatement. Get it? Overspent, understatement? Over, under? Ha! Clearly I have lost it.

Oh well, I knew this day would come.

On a positive note....we are finished with school! Can I get a HALLELUJAH!?!?!?
Of course, this means that I am busy planning for the next year. It is a little more stressful since Tyler will be in high school, (we won't go into how I feel about that) but it's exciting to plan high school curriculum that can be catered specifically to your child. Ah....the beauties of homeschooling.

So suffice it to say that I am busy with a whole lot of things that seem to run together in a never ending circle...kind of like this sentence!

Hope....

2008-04-25T07:27:00.006-04:00

I sat at my computer, surrounded by comfort and sipping on diet coke, their faces passing by on the screen, one by one, each filled with so much potential. How would I choose? They were all so deserving. What gender? What age? What country? Should it be the one with the shirt that was missing buttons? The one wearing a dirty dress and mismatched socks? The one who wasn't sure how to smile? I could not decide...it was impossible. That is when I made the decision to let them choose for me. I entered my name, address and credit card information....something I had done many times before without any thought as to where else my money could be going. This time was so different, a child was depending on me. I got my confirmation and began to wait.

Yesterday I opened the mailbox with great anticipation. It had been seven days and I was becoming impatient. A baby blue envelope bearing the Compassion International logo had finally arrived. I told myself to calm down. I wanted to rip it open immediately and look at the face of the child that had been assigned to me. I sat down and very carefully opened the package that I had been so anxiously awaiting. There she was. My child. She was wearing a brown and white dress with old sandals, her hair very neatly pulled into pigtails with a flower on one side. She was not smiling, but she was absolutely beautiful, and it took my breath away. Tears welled up in my eyes and the lump in my throat was hardly containable. I fell instantly in love with a five year old girl in India.

There are thousands of miles between us. I know nothing of the hardships that she faces in her everyday life. I would probably crumble if I had to live in her world. Yet, we will now have a bond. We will write letters and exchange pictures and I will be able to watch her grow up knowing that her needs have been met. The chance is great that I will never meet this girl face to face, but that's ok. Even though we are separated by oceans, mountains, and continents, I know that she is being taught the love of Jesus and maybe one day we will meet in our Heavenly Father's presence and that will be more precious than meeting on earth.

Time to Clean Out My Ears....

2008-04-17T10:44:00.002-04:00

Have you ever felt that God is speaking to you and moving in your heart, but you couldn't really understand what He was saying? I have been really feeling this lately. It seems that so many things are going on in my life that I haven't been able or willing to listen to His direction. What is it that He is asking of me? Are my priorities straight? Do I even really want to know what He is saying? These are all things that have been heavy on my heart the last couple of weeks. I have been trying to make decisions without asking Him for direction...something that rarely works. I am feeling burnt out with housekeeping, childrearing and homeschooling, yet I continue to go on about my daily routine with out involving the One who can restore me.
Why is it that we are so afraid sometimes to let go and let God? Do we think He will not do what is best for us? I know exactly what I have been thinking...If I let go and let God, He may do something that is not fitting with my agenda. Funny how that works huh?
Today is a new day and a chance to begin listening. I think it's time I cleaned out my ears!

Finders Keepers....

2008-04-09T07:37:00.002-04:00

What is a six year old to do when he finds his mommy's secret stash of leftover Easter chocolate? Make it his own of course. How would he go about this, you might ask? Well, he would take his mommy's secret stash and hide the pieces of chocolate in the bottom of a cereal box. This plan is genius! All he has to do is sneak into the pantry, reach down in the box with his probably very dirty hand and pull out the egg. He then opens it quickly and shoves it in his mouth while no one is looking. BRILLIANT! There is a catch however. The little rascal didn't count on his daddy needing a snack last night. And his snack of choice was...you guessed it....cereal. So when daddy went to pour himself a bowl of starchy goodness, out came chocolate eggs along with his Rice Krispies. For me this would have been a fabulous treat! I probably would have unwrapped the eggs and added them to my cereal to give myself a little extra nutrition! But daddy couldn't really do anything but laugh.....

My Love Affair with a Sponge....

2008-04-07T10:54:00.003-04:00

I love it. There, I said it. I'm speaking of that little white piece of cleaning in a box. I'll admit I was skeptical at first. Could a "magic" sponge really be that fabulous? The answer is YES! It has removed marks from my walls, grease from my microwave and gunk from my washer and dryer. What is the secret behind this powerful magic eraser? I believe that the cleaning compounds they use to create it are the same ones found in mother's spit! That is the only logical explanation. What else could remove all those marks and all that gunk? It is a miracle product sent straight from heaven that has won my heart.....and that's all I can say! please don't tell Brian......

The Space Between Her Ears....

2008-03-17T08:35:00.003-04:00

Yesterday we had a lovely outing to the Great Smoky Mountains! This is one of our family's favorite places in the whole entire universe!! We hiked, climbed trees, got dirty and ate lots of candy. Good times I tell you.
One of our favorite activities in the mountains is wildlife spotting. Now you might think that our own brood is wildlife enough and why would we need to spot more. To this I would say...Right On Brother! However, it's always nice to experience the wildlife that lives outside my home.
Anyhoo....
As we were hiking through the woods, making lots of noise so as to see animals, Brian suddenly stopped. He stood there for a few minutes staring into the trees. The kids were all gathered around him looking in the same direction and begging him to tell them what he was looking at. He kept telling them to be quiet (obviously this man does not spend enough time with his children). After a few moments of silence, he finally said "look", and pointed into the woods. The kids all stared intently searching the trees for signs of life. "What is it?" they all asked. With a big, mischievous grin on his face Brian replied "air". To this there was some chuckling, eye rolling, and a few "daaaaaaad"s. But the best response was from Meghan, who simply replied, "I don't see anything."

The Stars Told Me So....

2008-03-15T08:19:00.002-04:00

Every morning it is there. It lurks in a small corner of my homepage just beckoning me to look over and read it. It is my horoscope. I did not ask for it to be put there, instead my internet provider is kind enough to put it there as a courtesy for me so I can know if my day is going to be pleasant or marred by tragedy.
Now before you get panicked and think I'm going all pagan on you let me elaborate on my horoscope situation.
I use to completely ignore it. Matter of fact for a long time I wasn't even aware that it was on the page. Then one day, as there was absolutely nothing else I should be doing, I looked. And then I laughed. Today you will face many challenges. Oh, Mr. Horoscope writer, surely you jest. I am but a lowly mother of four, homeschooler, laundress, bathroom scrubber and neurosurgeon....I could not possibly face any challenges today! HA!
So since that fateful day when I knew ahead of time that I would face challenges, I have read my little horoscope for amusement. Some days it is just a stroke of brilliance...Get organized today, your life will be more enjoyable. Oh my gosh, the divine inspiration! Did I mention I have four kids?
So by now you are probably wondering where all this is going right?
Well, today was my most inspiring and disturbing horoscope yet. Today you will be a beacon of light for a friend. What?! A beacon?! Aren't beacons very large? This cannot possibly apply to me, because I am very tiny! Then it hit me. The obvious translation of this is that I am to remove my clothes and use my winter white body for a friend that is trapped in a cave and can't find their way out! The brightness that would glow off of me would light their path, with the added bonus of still being able to use both hands!
So to all of my friends who will be spending their day spelunking, I'm here for you!

Keep Those Rubber Gloves Away From Me....

2008-03-10T15:21:00.002-04:00

It has been brought to my attention that March is Colo-Rectal Awareness Month. I am not exactly sure what this means. Are you supposed to make sure you still have a colon and a rectum? Maybe you are supposed to be aware of other people's digestive organs. How exactly do you become aware of colo-rectal stuff? This is all very puzzling to me. You will all be happy to know however, that I am fairly confident that I still have all of my colo-rectal parts.
Thank you very much.

Another One Bites the Dust, and Bright Hope For Tomorrow....

2008-03-09T08:54:00.003-04:00

So apparently I spoke too soon. Another child has fallen victim to the plague. Of course this happened on the first night that Katy has not spent coughing and I had the promise of sleep. But alas a small, very feverish body woke me in the night to tell me he needed help throwing up. I used my doctor skills, (that I am totally underpaid for by the way) gave him some extra lovin', and put him back in bed. We'll see what the day brings....
On a much more positive note, I found this out about myself......

32%

So you don't have to worry about me, just in case....

On the Mend....

2008-03-08T08:06:00.003-05:00

Well, I do believe we are finally healed! I say that with just a little fear and trepidation in case anyone else should come down with what I like to call....the black death!

Anyhoo....

After nursing children back to health and spending a week on the couch wanting to die, I think we are over it. Katy is still having some difficulties related to her asthma and by difficulties I mean coughing and keeping everyone awake all night. I'm trying to be positive...I mean no sleep beats the plague right?!

Hopefully, I can get my little (ahem) butt back in gear and get the bazillion things done around here that I need to. Also, I am hoping to start blogging again more frequently so stay tuned! By more frequently of course I mean more than once a century =).

Disease and Pestilence....

2008-02-21T11:45:00.002-05:00

It seems here lately, that we have been attacked by all manner of disease. You know those little green blob people on the Mucinex commercial? Yep, they've moved in! I am hoping that there is an end in sight. I have lysoled my house several times, washed all blankets in hot water, disenfected the tv remotes (they are the most touched item after all) and forced fluids into every willing mouth. I am tired. The children that have recovered from their illnesses have gone back to reaking havoc. The one who is the worst off, can't seem to remove himself from the couch long enough to brush his teeth or put on a clean pair of socks. We have not done any schoolwork for a week and I'm starting to feel the pressure. I know this is one of those "seasons" that people talk about and it will soon pass. Until then, I am overloading on chocolate, and watching alot of movies. I hope all of you internets are healthy!

Our Decor...It Is So Fabulous!....

2008-02-02T07:31:00.000-05:00

No doubt by now, you have deduced from our frequent family conversations, that Joshua is rather humorous. This isn't always on purpose, but it just seems to work out that way. For example, this past week we had to make a trip to the vets office with the newest member of our herd. Chaz, our cocker puppy seems to have managed to create a hairline fracture in his knee. This required hours of my time and hords of my money, but anyway....back to the story. While we were enjoying being cooped in a small room that smelled of disenfectant and previous visitors, Josh noticed a jar on the counter containing a dog heart that had been afflicted with heartworms. This is fascinating stuff I tell you. That little jar alone accounted for much conversation involving hearts, dogs and worms. As Josh studied the rather grotesque, 500 year old looking, piece of dogs anatomy floating in formaldahyde, it occured to him that this could happen to his precious puppy. The conversation went something like this...

Josh: Does Chaz have heartworms?

Me: No.

Josh: Why?

Me: Because he takes medicine that kills them.

Josh: Can heartworms kill Chaz? (Obviously ignoring me)

Me: Yes, but he doesn't have them so you don't have to worry 'bout that.

Josh: If he dies will we cut out his heart and put it in a jar for decoration?

Me: No.

Apparently he has been so impressed by my decorating skills that he feels it would surely add to our home's ambience if we kept dog hearts in jars on our counters. Oh the wonderful legacy I must be leaving to my children........

Why Yes, She is a Blonde!....

2008-01-13T15:22:00.000-05:00

Today, for no apparent reason, Katy decided to ask her daddy a most profound question. "How do blind people drive?" I will spare you the smart alecky answer her father gave her, as it might be offensive to people who are sight challenged. Let's just say she has a few challenges of her own mainly being oblivious to the obvious!

In Which He Will Need an Open Account With LL Bean....

2008-01-06T16:46:00.000-05:00

Today, as we were doing more extreme demolition in our house, six year old Josh was inspired to discuss his future career choices. He said maybe he'd like to be a fireman or an artist. I suggested a doctor or engineer. We discussed all of these options and what each occupation involved. He also thought maybe he would like to work with snakes. I reassured him that he had plenty of time to decide. He agreed but said he still likes to think about it. After some silent introspection he finally suggested that maybe he should be a hypothermia! I guess I can spend that college fund on some new shoes for me!

The Making of a Man....

2008-01-04T07:47:00.000-05:00

When I look at my son it is sometimes very hard to define what I see. One day it might be a goofy kid wrestling with his little brother the next it could be a know-it-all teenager who thinks I just arrived on the stupid bus. Yesterday, I saw something that made my heart swell with pride and also brought a little tinge of sadness to my soul. I saw a man. Yes he is only fourteen, but sometimes age makes no difference. The first sign was when we were listening to a song on the radio that said something like she walks into the club and everybody's looking at her. I jokingly said that's how it is for me...everywhere I go people are looking at me. I thought I was being pretty funny, however he quickly and very maturely pointed out that people do look at me when we are out. It wasn't a people look at you because you are weird kind of statement, but a genuine concern coming from his heart. It made me realize that he is watching out for his mother's well being, and that is as it should be.
Later, he asked me if I had ever been deeply affected by a video game. I don't play video games so the answer would be no. I asked him what he meant, and he proceeded to tell me about a scene in one of his war type games where people are being killed and there is no way out for them. It made his heartache and brought tears to his eyes at the reality of the situation. Some might see this as a weakness, I see it as a great strength! Do we want our men to be hardened with no concern for fellow man or do we want them to have a heart for human life and the plight of others? I will definitely choose the later. It is difficult for boys these days to be sensitive. The world tells them this is uncool. I would much rather have a man that can show emotion, than one that cannot.
The final glimpse of manhood that I witnessed yesterday may seem silly to some, but it was another reminder to me of his maturity and the way he cares for everything around him. A little bird had become trapped on our porch and Tyler tried for 20 minutes to shoo it outside only to watch our stealthy cat leap with open mouth to devour the bird. He them proceeded to chase the cat across the yard to rescue the bird. Do you know how many people I know that would think the bird being eaten was funny? It is more than I can count on two hands.
I know what our society says about the making of a man. They need to be good looking, muscle bound hunks that are cool and have an attitude of indifference. That is not what I want for my sons. I want them to always look after the ones they love. I want them to have broken hearts over hurting human souls and I want them to do whatever they can to protect and appreciate God's creation. That is what makes a man in my eyes!

Ushering in the New Year....

2008-01-01T07:26:00.000-05:00

So here we are in 2008! I'm still trying to figure out how 2007 ended so quickly. It seems that each year goes by faster than the previous one.....momma said there'd be years like this! Because Brian and I are so social and such hard party animals we spent New Year's Eve at home watching football, overdosing on cold medicine and falling asleep on the couch! Rock On 2008!! I would have liked to at least watch the ball drop, but you know once you take Tylenol, Dayquil and squirt a little Afrin up your nose there's no point in even attempting to stay awake.
Today will be our family New Year celebration. We will eat black eyed peas (this is a must if you are southern) and deep fried turkey with all of our local relatives. Then we will all sit around stuffed and satisfied and talk about all manner of important things from what movies we should watch to if it's really going to snow tomorrow and most importantly....FOOTBALL!
We are a house divided as I have mentioned before. Both of our teams will be playing in bowl games today and the lines will be drawn. I'm very glad they aren't playing each other, all though it makes for some mighty good "conversation" ahem!
I am looking forward to the new year. It is always interesting to see what life will bring. Hopefully our year will be filled with family and friends, good health and not to much trauma with all of the remodeling we need to do in our house! I hope all of you who read this blog will have a very blessed year as well!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

and GO VOLS!

Joy Joy Joy!....

2007-12-26T07:38:00.000-05:00

As Brian and I sat on the couch on Christmas Eve, feeling rather exhausted and hyperventilating from blowing up all those balloons, only one thing kept coming to mind. "Yes Virginia, we did spend way too much money!" My attitude was that of an exhausted mother. I was tired from shopping, baking, cleaning and wrapping. I kept thinking of all the work I had done and how the next morning it would be destroyed within 30 minutes. I looked at the tree and all those gifts and realized the joy it was going to bring to my children. No, they wouldn't appreciate the hours of effort put into their Christmas bliss, but their happy, smiling faces would more than make up for it. I never appreciated the work that my parents did. It was all so magical on Christmas morning when we would emerge from our rooms to see airplanes hanging from the ceiling and balloons filling the room and that delicious aroma of fresh baked cinnamon rolls wafting from the kitchen. I appreciate it now! The gifts are wrapped, the balloons are filled and cinnamon rolls are in my oven.
Christmas is so special to me! And Christmas morning when I see these four faces it makes anything I had to go through 100% worth it....even overbidding on ebay!

Chinese Water Torture Would Be More Fun!....

2007-12-19T18:12:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure what had gotten into me, but yesterday morning I decided to go Christmas shopping with all four kids in tow! You can probably imagine how my day went, but just in case you can't, let me give you a little glimpse.
It started off well enough. We were singing carols along with Bing and Beyonce and discussing what we thought Santa might bring us. Then it began....from the backseat...you know how it goes. He's touching me, she slapped me, somebody licked somebody! Licking I tell you....I'll give somebody a licking! I had to pull off of the interstate and make people switch seats! This was all before I had entered the crowded stores.
Our first stop should have been an easy one. I needed one item and knew exactly where it was. My plan was to use the "man strategy". You know...enter the store, hunt down the item, shoot it, and drag it home. This would have been successful had I been by myself! Instead, one child had to potty, two others would not leave the bikes alone, and the eldest decided to give me a lecture on why he thought the item I was trying to purchase was not the best choice. What should have been a five minute purchase turned into something closer to twenty minutes. Time was ticking away!!
Once we were safely back in the car and surrounded by chicken nuggets and leaky honey mustard containers, I had to make an important decision. Could I avoid the mall and still accomplish what I needed to? Normally the mall is my very best friend! (I heart it with almost as much love as I feel for shoe stores, but that's another post.)However, it's Christmas shopping season and I was accompanied by four children and a sinus headache! Anyhoo....on to the mall.
The mall was just as I expected it would be. Filled with other procrastinators, just like myself, trying to find those last minute gifts. I knew basically what I was looking for and so figured it wouldn't take too long! Ha! Apparently I had learned nothing from the last few hours! We trudged on, going from store to store hunting down the perfect gift. Only there were a few complications. More children had to potty. Of course this only happens when you are no where near the bathroom. Other children were thirsty and so was I, only the mall doesn't sell the kind of drink I was needing! No one had the one main item I was searching for and I was becoming more frustrated by the minute. Children were playing in the clothes racks. Why do they put those there? Why don't they just spread everything on the floor so I don't have to pull my monkeys from the racks of cashmere sweaters! Just a side note...if your child is in a stroller REJOICE! It may be a pain now but you'll wish you had it later!!
We managed to survive the mall and even located the unlocatable item. I still had one more stop to make and was using the "if you guys don't behave in this store you will be grounded forever and ever and probably be on Santa's naughty list!" I know I should try to be more patient, especially this time of year, but did I mention I had a headache!
We went to our last store and made our purchases. The kids weren't exactly nice, but weren't exactly naughty either. I didn't ground them forever. All in all the day was pretty normal. The kids were being kids (at christmas) and I had expectations that were a little too high. Next year I think I will go with my brother's idea. He said we should just buy everyone empty gift cards and let them fill it with the dollar amount that suits them! Brilliant!!

At Least I'm No Grinch!....

2007-12-15T08:09:00.000-05:00

You Are a Tree

You love every part of the holidays, down to the candy canes and stockings. And you're goofy enough to put a Christmas tree ornament on your tree!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

Stuff n' Nonsense....

2007-12-12T07:32:00.000-05:00

As anyone with eyes can see, blogging here has been nonexistent lately. I just haven't had anything to say. Those of you that know me well are now trying to pick your jaws up off the floor! I know it is shocking that I would have nothing to say, but it's the truth I'm afraid. It just seems that lately I've been in a funk. You know when life is normal and everything is pretty much as it should be, but you just can't explain your mood? That's where I'm at.
Anyhoo...I'll just share a few recent happenings in our house.
Brian and I went to VEGAS last weekend! It was a blast!! I wasn't sure what to expect, what with the whole "sin city" thing and all, but we loved it! (Not the sin, the city) There's so much there to do and see that you can hardly take it in. The downside was that I got very sick...some sort of inner ear thing triggered by air sickness we think....and we had to come home a day early. That's ok though, it was a wonderful time for the two of us and I can't wait to do it again! I mean how could you not want to go back to a place that has a buffet on every corner?!
I am not anywhere near done with my Christmas shopping. Matter of fact, I have only shopped for one day. This is overwhelming me and just plain freaking me out! Why is it that for the whole rest of the year I spend approximately 363 days shopping, but when it comes to Christmas I can only squeeze in 1 ? Frustrating I tell you!!!
We have a new puppy. This is something like having a newborn, but fluffier and with sharp teeth! He is an adorable cocker spaniel with big brown eyes and freckles on his nose. He also has that sweet puppy look that is constantly saying "no mommy, it really is ok if I chew the ornaments off the Christmas tree". So far we haven't had any major debacles with him, keep in mind though that we have only had him for 3 days. I'm expecting a catastrophe at any moment! And yes, you can call me "susie sunshine" since I have such a good attitude!
I guess that pretty much does it for all of my ramblings. Hopefully soon I will have something a little more exciting to say......of course that would probably mean there has been a major incident at our house so maybe I'll hope for a little more dullness!

Opposites Attack!....

2007-11-17T07:27:00.000-05:00

"They" say that opposites attract. I don't know who "they" are, or how "they" got to know everything, but I'm just gonna go with it. Brian and I are opposites in a lot of ways, but I believe we have grown more similar over the years. There is one area however that can not and will not be compromised......FOOTBALL!!! Oh yes sireee, we are definitely opposites when it comes to our favorite sport! I am a Tennessee Volunteer and he is a .... well....um.....I'm embarrassed to say......Florida Gator. This means that in no way, shape, or form does he cheer for Tennessee. It means he cheers for everyone who plays them. Oh the agony I experience when writing those words! I do have to give him some credit. Since we have lived here he has tried to be somewhat supportive of the Big Orange. For example, a couple weeks ago, as we were sitting in the stands at Neyland Stadium for homecoming, he was wearing a Tennessee shirt! I am fairly certain he did this to avoid being mugged and maybe to get a better deal on parking, because half way through the game he was cheering for the other team! He can't help himself. Rocky Top does not excite him like it does me, and he doesn't think that Smoky is the cutest dog ever!!
Today we will be at yet another game. The Pride of the Southland Band will march onto the field and form the POWER T! It will be a moment so breathtaking that it will ....well.... take my breath away! The boys will take the field and play like there's no tomorrow and I will eat yummy snacks and sing Rocky Top at the top of my lungs along with 100,000 thousand other very smart people! It will be a glorious scene!! There will be one small blemish in all of that orange fabulousness....Brian. He will be sitting next to me, in a sea of orange, wearing black and cheering for Vanderbilt. I will recover from this eventually because we will ANNIHILATE them! They will be nothing but dust on the field when we are finished and Brian will have to leave the stadium with his head hanging in shame. I might rub it in just a little. I might sing Rocky Top all the way home. He just needs to remember...All's fair in love, war and college football! GO VOLS!!

Don't Judge the Candy By It's Cover....

2007-11-02T08:04:00.000-04:00

Trick or Treating went very well for us this year! Four kids times 300 pounds of candy each....why that's 1200 pounds of sugary goodness that is now sitting on my kitchen counter! The kids all scored the usual stuff....Reese's, Lollipops, Nerds and even a couple granola bars which of course they gave to me....how generous. But there was one mysterious piece of candy that was troubling Josh. After examining its square shape and yellow wrapper with red lettering, he brought it to me and very disgustedly said, "I can't believe somebody gave me butter!" How precious is that?! I did contain my laughter long enough to tell him that it was in fact not butter, but yet another piece of future tooth decay. He was much relieved, and I went to my room to let loose a rip snorting, hoot fest so as not to make him feel bad! I'm such a good mom....now where'd they hide their Reese's?......

In Which Horomones and Pumpkin Guts Take Over....

2007-10-31T10:53:00.000-04:00

A great family tradition involving sharp knives, permanent markers and lots of mess that we look forward to every year is pumpkin carving! What better way to spend time as a family than to stand in the dark on the driveway on the coldest night of the year and cut holes in vegetables? I mean who wouldn't want to join in the fun?! Pumpkin carving was so easy when the kids were little. We would cut a happy little face in their pumpkins after they had scooped out a few seeds and they would be so excited as they ran off to bed in their footy pajamas. NOT ANYMORE!!!

This years event involved a power saw, drill, knives, wailing and gnashing of teeth. Tyler's experience was pleasant enough. After all, he is 14 and knows everything, therefore needs no assistance with his giant squash. Josh also enjoyed the evening. What more could a 6 year old boy ask for than to throw pumpkin guts on his sisters while his daddy carves his pumpkin? And the girls......oh the girls......

First of all, Meghan is a perfectionist. This requires at least 30 minutes of scraping the inside of her pumpkin until all sides are equal, level and the same shade of orange. Then she spends the next 30 minutes or so deciding on the exact position of the lucky pumpkin's facial features. Finally she is willing to hand her pumpkin over to daddy to use his wonderful power tools on. (This is daddy's favorite part) The problem was daddy did not follow her specific instructions and made her pumpkin's eye the wrong shape! Let the cry fest begin....

Meanwhile, on planet hormone, Katy is diligently working on her pumpkin. Her frozen pumpkin. Apparently the poor orange orb had gotten a little frost bitten the night before and was not being very cooperative when it came to slicing it's eyes out. We couldn't cut it with the knife or the saw! Katy was becoming very upset because her pumpkin's eyelashes were not working the way she wanted. Daddy suggested that he could "start" the hole with the drill and then maybe she could finish it with the knife. She reluctantly agreed and daddy proceeded. What was heard next went something like this...."Daaaaaaadyyyyy, you ruuuuuiiiined it! The eye is toooo big! My WHOLE pumpkin is ruuuuiiiiined! You ruuuuiiiiin everything!" Keep in mind that this was very high pitched and loud enough for them to hear it in China! At this point poor daddy can't take it anymore and goes inside with the boys. This left me, with my own hormonal issues, to proceed with pumpkin rescue. I finally, somewhat forcefully, convinced the girls that if they wanted pumpkins we would do it my way or the highway! I did say it very sweetly though.

All in all the evening was mostly enjoyable. The pumpkins all got faces, the children ran up to bed in their pajamas without feet, and I had the pleasure of hosing off the driveway at 10:00 at night in the freezing cold. Gee, can't wait to do it again next year! Good times....good times....

Any Way You Slice Me....

2007-10-23T16:54:00.000-04:00

It is no secret that I have wanted to shed a few pounds over the past couple of months. The good news is I have succeeded and am now back down to my mother of four, supermodelesque like figure. Ahem. That's right, it's amazing what a little activity and celery will do for the physique (not to mention the occasional piece of dark chocolate)!
Why am I sharing this you might ask....
Well, it's because of the amazing encouragement I received from my now eight year old daughter today. The scene was something like this....
I was sitting on the couch pulling my pants out from my waist and commenting that they were too big. "I could fit two of me in here", I said humorously to myself and the darling child sitting next to me. "Two of you?", she asked. "Well, maybe me plus an eighth of me" I said. Then very seriously she replied, "Wow, that would be a lot to carry". OH -YES- SHE -DID!
I don't know what she thinks an eighth is. The little rug rat hasn't even learned fractions yet! I mean how much could an eighth of me possibly be? A finger, a toe, ok maybe ten fingers and ten toes? Regardless....I think I could fit that much in my pants! That's the last time I announce to a small child, who looks like a zipper if she turns sideways and sticks out her tongue, how skinny I am!!

Happy Birthday!....

2007-10-20T07:47:00.000-04:00

Today Meghan is 8! It seems so young and yet somehow old. Where have the last eight years gone? Just yesterday I couldn't get her to remove the pacifier from her mouth and today she wants to do her own hair and wear leopard prints!

Meghan is so many wonderful things to me and to our whole family..... sweet, loving, organized, and always prepared for disaster. We can count on her to be carrying extra change or a bandaid for anyone who needs it. She also has the special gift of keeping us abreast of the family goings on (some would call this tattling)! So many fabulous qualities in one so small!!

What a precious gift she is!! Happy Birthday Meggie Moo....we love you!

Kids Say the Darndest Things....

2007-09-27T07:27:00.000-04:00

Josh, on climbing the rock wall at the playground: I need to go barefoot because my skin is not slippery!

Josh, after listening to the Pina Colada song: If you like enchiladas......

Meghan, very indignant about something her sister has said: Katy, that's prepostocy! (I'm assuming that's a cross between preposterous and hypocrisy.)

Katy, found out last night that she was going to be the ONLY angel in the Christmas play at church. When I asked her if music from heaven would be playing as she entered the room with profound holiness, without missing a beat she said: No, but there should be!

Tyler, while being forced against his will to listen to Hannah Montana for the bajillionth time: Where's a guillotine when you need one?!

The Hunt for Red Apples....

2007-09-23T20:10:00.000-04:00

I love fall! It is my most favorite of the seasons! So many things happen that make you happy. The air turns cooler, or at least it's supposed to. The leaves change color, pumpkins, gourds and hay bales adorn yards and the MIGHTY VOLS play football! (Go Big Orange!) These are all fabulous signs of the season.
The beginning of fall also marks the time for our annual family trek to the apple orchard. When I say family trek that is exactly what I mean. It is a two hour trip, one way, usually involving a caravan of vehicles and several cell phones to keep in contact along the way. You'd think we were crossing the Sahara! This has become a much looked forward to family tradition! We all load up in our perspective cars and head out of town. I'm sure there is an orchard closer by, but what fun would that be? We drive over interstates and on country backroads through the mountains to reach our destination. Our "apple time" begins with lunch at the wonderful on site restaurant. We eat our fill of fritters and fried chicken then we go apple shopping! Pickins' were a little slim this year because of the drought, but we did manage to load our cars with apples, jellies, gourds, mini-pumpkins and a couple of bags of candy!
It seems like a long ride for short shopping, but I don't mind. This year our cars were filled with not only apples, but four generations of family, and I think that's pretty special!

I'll Take Mine Well Done Please....

2007-09-11T09:07:00.000-04:00

So recently, as I have been counting calories and exercising until I think I will have a stroke, I have been paying very close attention to all the news on dark chocolate. This is ground breaking people! Do you realize that we now have an excuse to eat chocolate and say that it's healthy?! FABULOUS I tell you! I have always thought that chocolate should be considered a vegetable since it originally comes from a plant, but no one important wants to listen to me...go figure.

This has made my trips to the grocery store so much more fulfilling. Apparently, the stores figured out that this would mean big bucks for them, so they started putting bags, yes bags, of dark chocolate at the checkout counter. How convenient! Now I, being very concerned about my health and all, purchased a bag of healthy chocolate the other day. I carefully carried it to the car and after turning on the air so it wouldn't melt, I painstakingly unwrapped one small square. I inhaled the sweet aroma, and was just about to place it on my tongue to slowly melt away when what from the backseat do I hear? One of those ~~annoying~~ precious kids asking for a piece. Can you believe that? Meghan had the nerve to ask me to share my chocolate! Because I am such a wonderful mother, as I have said many times before, I passed a square of pure delight back to her. I could hear the wrapper being ripped from the sweet decadence, and then horror. "I don't like it, it tastes funny." Can you believe this? Fortunately she had only tasted one small corner so I did what any half insane self respecting mother of four would do. I took it from her grubby little hand, rewrapped it and put it back in the bag to eat later myself! Whew! All was not lost!

After savoring my own piece and dropping a few pounds, I asked Meghan why she didn't like it. Her reply; "I only like medium chocolate." Well that's great! More well done chocolate for me!

Things That Make You Go...I Just Really Can't Begin To Speculate!....

2007-09-11T08:29:00.000-04:00

There are many things in this world that can fascinate or even puzzle us. For instance, the "Seven Wonders of the World", the ingredients in hot dogs, do these shoes go with this outfit or should I buy new ones? These are all very important questions.
Josh asked an important question of his own as our "host" was seating us at a local restaurant the other night. "Is that a boy or a girl?" Oh yes he did! And yes it was within earshot of our friendly host, ie. the person in question. (6 year old boys never ask quiet questions)
I could feel the blood draining from my face! Did "he" hear? Would "he" be mad? Does "he" look that way on purpose? All these questions were racing through my mind. And as for my response to little Joshy, what was I supposed to say, I didn't know either! I told him "it's a boy". I was not completely confident that this was the correct assumption to make, however "he" had facial hair.
As you can imagine, I spent the rest of my dinner experience trying to figure out...boy, or girl? First of all it was the voice. Not quite feminine not quite masculine. I realize you can't judge a person by the depth of their voice, but it would have been a smidge helpful. Next came the shape. There wasn't one. Not a hint of anything girly, if you know what I mean. Of course there were also several piercings. Now don't get me wrong, I am a fan of some piercings, I even have some of my own, one in each ear! These piercings were not of the cool nature though, they were downright strange! Anyway, after gorging on BBQ, I always eat more when I'm deep in thought, I was finally redeemed when I heard him introduce himself at the next table as Matthew. What a relief! Matthew, that's a good, strong, biblical name that a man can be proud of!
Part of me hopes that Matthew heard little Josh's question. Not to embarrass him, but to send the message that maybe he should choose a gender and stick with it...if not for his own sake, then for the sake of all the mothers of loud six year olds who aren't afraid to ask questions!

Demolition Derby....

2007-09-04T17:28:00.000-04:00

What's a girl to do when she feels her space isn't flowing properly? Ask her husband to knock down a wall of course! Now mind you that her husband may not be too keen on the idea at first, something about money and rerouting duct work. But as soon as he knocked that first hole in the wall to "see what was there", he was hooked! The most excitement came when the kids realized that they could punch, kick or baseball bat the wall down. This kind of stuff doesn't happen everyday at our house! An offense like that will usually get you a good spanking or grounded for the next century, but not this time....BATTER UP!!

In a house that you didn't build yourself, you can never be too sure what will be underneath when you start yanking down important structural items. We were fairly lucky. We will have to reroute duct work and build a facade to make things look symmetrical, but other than that it will be fabulous! The space is now completely opened up and flooded with light, and since the floors are a little uneven, we agreed we will need to redo them also! I'm so excited!!

Maybe we could start a side business: Homeschool Demolition and Destruction Services; you build it we tear it down!

I Promise it's the Last One!....

2007-08-23T07:49:00.001-04:00

Today marks the end of the August Birthday Bazaar at our house! Of course it couldn't be the end without having one final celebration right? So Happy Birthday Brian!! I'm so glad that we get to celebrate your getting older (36 in case you were wondering)! It's fabulous that you will always be older than me, and that your hair is turning gray first! We love you and hope that your birthday is extra super spectacular.....even though you have to work!! Happy Birthday!!!!!

Are We All In This Together?....

2007-08-21T08:52:00.000-04:00

High School Musical, it's the stuff dreams are made of! Unless you are in your 80's or have been living in a cave on a deserted island you know about this fabulous Disney work! It's everywhere...we can't get away from it. Walmart sells it, the mall is loaded with it even the local jiffy store has candy with Troy Bolton's picture on it. What is this world coming to? Now because I have two young girls in my house we are forced to watch anything remotely related to the High School Musical craze, we even have the karaoke CD! What I want to know most is where do you find this kind of high school....I might stop homeschooling my kids if I knew they could have perfect skin, perfect clothes and break into perfectly choreographed song and dance in the middle of chemistry class! How fabulous would that be?! I don't remember this from my days at Lake Weir High! I have always considered myself mostly perfect, but the song and dance part would have been "OFF THE HOOK"!!
So when will this craze end? Is there going to be a third installment of SharPey's antics and will my kids stuffed animals be forever named Gabriella and Troy? And more importantly, who names their kid SharPey...isn't that a scrunchy faced chinese dog? We are waiting on pins and needles for answers to these all important questions! In the meantime I have discovered that spelling words are written with a little more enthusiasm with a pink pencil covered with the Wildcats emblem!

Baby Boy....

2007-08-15T07:48:00.000-04:00

Another birthday celebration is on the schedule for today! Josh turns 6 today and lets just say I'm not as excited about it as he is! That may seem terrible for a mother to say, but I can't help it. When I look at him, I see my baby boy....the last of my offspring and I want him to stay that way. Oh I know he will always be the baby, but it's not the same when they are older. Just last night as we were eating dinner he referred to himself as a man. I must admit it was very cute, but also made me realize that he is growing up. Josh keeps me laughing....all the time! From putting fish in inappropriate places to giving daily rock concerts (he has another one planned for his birthday party) there is always something exciting happening in his life! He is animated, passionate, impulsive and adorable! The joy he brings to our family is indescribable! This is the child who spends hours coming up with elaborate traps for wild animals that might venture into his room, and then tells me he couldn't possibly clean it up because it's his army base. He's very creative in his avoiding chores and he frequently gets away with it by flashing his dimples! His laugh is infectious and there's no way you can avoid smiling when you hear it. He is a priceless gift to our family and we love him dearly! Happy Birthday baby boy...as you would say "I think you're better than a pickle on a stick!"

This and That....

2007-08-14T08:39:00.001-04:00

Blogging has been slow here lately. There just hasn't been much to say. I think the bajillion degree heat has just gotten to me! I don't feel like doing much of anything. Of course this can be a problem if you are the mother of four children who always feel like doing something!
This past week has been busy as usual despite my lazy feeling. Meghan and Josh went camping for a week with Nana. Camping with Nana is always an adventure and the kids look forward to it with major excitement! Nana is fun! She leads them on adventures that I would shake my head at. They spend hours in the creek catching salamanders and crawfish and building little slides to ride down on their tubes. They go in search of wildlife. I think they saw 7 bears, a whole bunch of deer and some really cool owls! When they get tired of the creek they go to the dollar store where there is all manner of high quality toys available for purchase and yes, Nana is very accommodating! The best thing about this is the memories they are creating together! One day the kids are going to look back and remember this as one of the best times of their lives! I'm so grateful that they have a Nana who loves them deeply and wants to spend time with them. That kind of commitment to family is irreplaceable. I never have to worry when they are with her. I know that she takes perfect care of them and always does what is best for them, like giving them doughnuts for breakfast only after they have finished all of their Fruit Loops!
What were the rest of us doing while those two were off adventuring in the wilderness? School! It's that time of year again and we got some serious studying in. It was nice to be able to focus on two at a time. Of course the week wasn't all work and no play. Katy and I did manage to fit in a pedicure and Tyler hung out with the youth group at Splash Country, but other than that it was all work....I promise!

How Do I Love Thee?....

2007-08-07T06:31:00.000-04:00

Today is Brian and I's 15th Anniversary! Seems so very hard to believe! There have been times when I wasn't sure we would make it this far, but we have definitely been blessed! I love you honey.....Happy Anniversary!

Another One....

2007-08-04T19:52:00.000-04:00

Dear Tyler,

Today is your 14th birthday! Where have the years gone? What a privilege it is to be your mother! It is such a joy to watch you grow into the man you are becoming! My heart is so full of love for you that it would very likely burst open if it could! You mean so much to us! I love to watch you think and create. I love it when you know things that I don't and how you act like it's no big deal! I love the way you look like your father! I love the way you care for your siblings even though at times you would like to strangle them! I love that you aren't too cool to hug me or kiss me in front of your peers! I love your spirit! You are handsome, caring and articulate. You possess so many qualities that a mother dreams her child will have.

I can't wait for the next 14 years! I can't wait to see you become an adult, to finish your education and to launch yourself into the future! I am so proud of you!

Happy Birthday!

All Fishes Go to Heaven....

2007-08-03T17:31:00.000-04:00

Tragedy struck our house today. Josh's "famous" fish went to live in the big toothbrush holder in the sky. We aren't sure how this happened, one minute he was swimming in his little bowl and the next.....well he wasn't. Normally I would suggest that we flush a dead fish, but this was so traumatic that we actually needed a fishy funeral. So Tyler took Josh outside and they gave the fish a semi-permanent resting place in the flower bed. I say semi-permanent because Josh keeps digging up his fish to show it to unsuspecting mourners. I know it seems rather morbid, but I guess when you are five the attention you get from showing off your dead fish to anyone who can stomach it is better than shedding tears of sorrow over your bereaved pet. One day I'm sure he will learn to properly grieve; until then beware the kid with the shovel scrounging around in the backyard!

K K K Katy, Beautiful Katy....

2007-08-02T07:34:00.000-04:00

Today is Katy's 11th birthday! And thus begins the August birthday bazaar at our house!
It does not seem possible for her to be 11 already. Sometimes it feels like they just handed her to me and othertimes it feels like she's been here forever! Katy has brought so much spice into our lives. She is "super fun funky fresh" as I like to tell her! I remember when they did hand her to me and we immediately dubbed her "Katy Bug". She was so tiny with giant eyeballs and the nickname just seemed to fit! My sister thought she needed a little help getting started, so in her Sunday School class she asked for prayer that Katy's bottom would grow. One day she will probably be blamed for Katy's figure problems! Her size didn't stop her from getting what she wanted.... that's for sure! That girl has her some powerful lungs even to this day!
I can't imagine what our lives would be like without Katy! She has so much personality and spunk and brings us so much joy!

K is for Kingdom (the one we figure she will be running one day)
A is for Accepting (she is always accepting of others, regardless of their differences)
T is for Terrific (I totally think she is)
Y is for Youthful (something I hope she always stays)

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl! I love you!....

leave a comment wishing Katy a happy b-day...she would love it........

Mmm, Mmm, Good!....

2007-07-31T12:44:00.000-04:00

Children have such great insights into the little details of life. Today I fixed Josh and myself a tuna fish sandwich. Josh, being the sweet brother that he is, asked Meghan if she would like one. Meghan quickly informed him that she did not like tuna! Josh then replied with much wisdom and seriousness, "Why not? It's just dead fish!"
My lunch isn't looking so appetizing anymore, but the chuckle I got out of the conversation more than makes up for it!

Busy, Busy, Busy....

2007-07-30T08:28:00.000-04:00

My life is a whirlwind of activity lately! It seems that everytime I think it's slowing down something new pops up. I'm sure everyone out there can relate! Our weekend was crazy busy! On Saturday I went to a conference in Nashville. It was a training conference for a new business I want to get into. I'll tell you more about that when it's official. But what was supposed to be a day that was finished by 3:30 or so lasted until 6:30...or so. This was due to running out of gas on the side of the interstate. Funny huh?! Just know that I was not the one driving.
Sunday of course is always busy with church and family. We were so excited to have our dear friends Walter and Carole come for lunch. We hadn't seen them in quite a while.
I was thinking I could take today and just veg, but then I was pulled out of my alternate universe by the pitter patter of little feet running in my room this morning and jumping on my bladder and telling me he wanted breakfast. Why do they always aim for the bladder? It's like some kind of radar! Anyway, no vegging for me except for the 200 servings a day I need to eat to attempt to stay skinny. (I realize that implies that I am already skinny...it's a new form of motivation I'm trying...see yourself skinny!)
We have two children with birthdays this week. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's actually kind of depressing that I am old enough to have these people in my house. Where did they come from and when did they get so sassy? Next week we will have our 15th anniversary! This is also very hard to believe!! The next week we have one more child birthday and one husband birthday. (I know, I only have one husband but I'm going with a theme here) Needless to say August is a busy month in which we have no leftover time or money!! Oh well....at least I'll be skinny!.........

Please Let Today Be Better....

2007-07-25T08:25:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was one of those days. You know, the kind of day when you realize shortly after you get out of bed that you probably should have just stayed there. It started off with our dogs wreaking havoc in their kennel. I will spare you the disgusting details just know it involved a ton of lysol! This "havoc" required that one animal be banished to the great outdoors and the other needed to be shaved and bathed. (She needed a haircut anyway, but that is beside the point) So after an hour of buzzing razors and sudsy fun she was clean, sparkly and smelled oh so sweet. Then she proceeded to go down the stairs, stop half way, get sick and continue on like nothing ever happened. Again, no disgusting details, but this time it required the carpet shampooer and that's all I'll say! At this point I am wondering if I even want to continue living when I walk into my laundry room to find my washer leaking all over the floor. Are you feeling my pain yet? I mean what was going on here? Was this some kind of test of my character, cause I gotta tell ya, I was failing!!
moving on...
So after cleaning all of that stuff up, we settled into some school work we needed to catch up on. Then what to my wondering eyes doth appear? Algebraic equations involving parallelograms and coordinates on a plane. Why don't they just call them squares and dots? I mean really...do you ever go around saying "oh look, the shoe store is in the shape of a parallelogram"? I think not.
Here's another question. Why do small children want to ride their bikes around the neighborhood if they are going to require you to push them up the hills and hold them going down the hills so they don't go to fast? I think it's some sort of unspoken conspiracy on the part of preschoolers to torture tired and dog poop covered mothers!
I have to go eat some chocolate now. I'm stressed out just thinking about what today may bring...

Thank You Mr. Advertising!....

2007-07-23T08:16:00.000-04:00

My girls were having a discussion in the car yesterday over what they wanted for their birthdays. They crack me up when they do this because if they think it's something a little too pricey for mom and dad to purchase they resign themselves to "saving up for it". (Even if it is a gazillion dollars) Now given the fact that they are currently 10 and 7, their incomes are not that colossal! Katy wants one of those "I have to have it, it is my favorite thing in the whole wide universe and all my friends have one" items. She saw one online but doesn't want to have to pay shipping (yet fully expects me to!). They were discussing and asking Brian and I where else might carry this particular thing. We suggested several stores and gave them an idea of what it might cost. Then, without missing a beat, Meghan pipes up and says "I think we should just check Walmart. They sell for less." I don't know whether to be grateful to Walmart or throw a rock at my TV. At least they know how to shop for a bargain! Way to go girls...you warm your mama's heart!

Comfort and Joy....

2007-07-20T08:00:00.000-04:00

Mary over at Owl Haven is hosting a carnival about memories of your childhood home. Go check it out for some really sweet reads!
When I think about my childhood home there isn't one particular place that comes to mind. We had a couple different homes as I was growing up and each of them holds some unique memories. There was the house on 43rd Ave where we left the sprinklers on all night on Christmas Eve so that the yard would be covered in ice when we woke up the next morning. (This was a pretty exciting thing for a FL girl seeing that a freeze was not necessarily a yearly event) There was the year I was twelve and we lived on the lake. I spent my days barefoot and fishing and watching out for alligators so I wouldn't be taken to the murky depths in their very unpleasant jaws! Then the house on 41 Ct. where Granny lived next door and I learned to drive the mower. (I only did this once or twice so I don't think my parents had alot of faith in me)
All of these houses hold special memories for me, but when I think about why, I realize it's because that is where my family was; in particular it's where my parents were. My mom and dad were a solid rock in my sometimes roller coasterish life. Wherever they were was home! There is something still so comforting about walking into my parents house. Even now as an adult with my own home and family I feel enveloped in love just walking through their door. My dad is no longer with us, but I can still feel his presence there. The pictures and knick knacks that I grew up with are still scattered about and their bed is still the most comfortable in the world! We all have since moved from FL. We still live in the same town though and whenever one of us needs to slip back home for a little comfort and joy mom and dad's house is where we find it.....

Definitions from a 5 Year Old....

2007-07-18T08:37:00.000-04:00

Crooksided: the event in which something is crooked and lopsided at the same time
So far we have had crooksided flip flops, underwear and cookies! I just love childhood!!

House Check!....

2007-07-18T07:57:00.001-04:00

In my constant quest for a clutter free home I have had to devise some pretty interesting cleaning tactics. The "clean up" song from Barney used to work well, but for some odd reason my children have grown tired of it! So when the house is looking like a tornado came through, I simply yell two words....HOUSE CHECK! When I say this, the kids know it's time to scramble and get things put away. Often I will try to make it into a game by timing them or offering a reward for who "checked" the most. Other times I will assign each child an area of the house to house check in. This has been a fairly reliable way of getting those wayward toys, socks and other childhood paraphernalia back to their own spots. The kids like it (mostly) and I am not having to hover over them insisting that the little Lego guy does need to join the rest of his block family or that yes, Polly Pocket would be more comfortable if she were wearing her rubber dress!

For more Works-For-Me-Wednesday tips, visit Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer!

Sticks and Stones....

2007-07-17T07:29:00.000-04:00

So yesterday, I was helping my friend run some errands. She is a new mom and is still trying to recover from the "birthing experience". I of course jumped at the chance to help her, after all someone needed to hold the baby. I call it my baby holding ministry!

Anyhoo...

As we're standing in the checkout line at Walmart, the cashier looks at me with the little bundle in my arms and says "Is this your first grandchild?" Gasp, sputter, cough, nearly drop the baby! Thankfully before I could say anything ~~that would land me in jail~~ witty, my friend jumped to my rescue, as did the woman behind us in line. The problem is now the damage is done. Look at my picture people! I'm 33 years old and apparently look like I'm 50 or 60 or 300! Surely there must be something wrong with this woman's eyes! Maybe she has cataracts or her glasses were foggy or she had the Ebola virus as a child and it caused her to ~~become the wicked witch of the west~~ have clouded judgement. I don't know what her issues are but now I certainly have some! First thing this morning I have to call and make an appointment for Botox, possibly get some nipping and tucking done and run to Home Depot for a five gallon bucket of spackle for my face! Then I will need to see a therapist!!

I hope that cashier will forever be haunted by the "young lady" in her checkout line that will now be emotionally scarred for life because of her obviously ridiculous comment! Maybe next time she'll just ask me if I'm pregnant!

Well I'm off to Home Depot, they're having a sale on spackle........

LET ME IN!!!....

2007-07-13T13:43:00.000-04:00

Home Owners Associations! It's a love hate relationship for most people, I'm just wanting the chance to love or hate them! In our new neighborhood we have a pool, boat dock, ball field, playground and tennis courts. I know, just call Lifestyles of the Fabulously Ghetto Sheik! We are dying to take advantage of some of these things, however there have been some obstacles. First of all, the "person in charge" has his house for sale and apparently has flown the coop. For some reason he is still "in charge" but you can't actually get ahold of him. The number two man is very sweet and would love to take our money, but has no keys to give us right now. I don't know if there's a number three person, but somebody just go unlock the gate!! We're sweating here and have to drive by a nice pool with lounge chairs that I know were put there especially for me, and we can't get in. And what if I needed the boat dock? I realize I do not have a boat, but perhaps Brian will surprise me and bring one home with him today and we won't be able to use it and it will just sit in our driveway looking all shiny and speckled in the sun and the kids will climb on it and break stuff before we even get to use it and this has got to be the longest run-on sentence ever!! I know you can all feel my frustration over this and if you can't, well then I'm not inviting you over to look at my shiny (pretend) boat or swim in my pool with the locked gate! So as of right now I will continue to call the disconnected number of man number one hoping that maybe he moved back and I will beg man number two to go make a key, maybe if I take my hot sweaty children down to his house he will be more sympathetic! I'm sure eventually we will get a key. By that time it will be winter, the pool will be filled with chunks of ice, the lake will be drained thanks to the TVA and their "conservation" efforts and some smart new "person in charge" will go change the lock! Optimistic I am not.

Dog Whisperer....

2007-07-11T10:45:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, as we were taking a little jaunt around the block, this cute little rat on acid..ur I mean chihuahua type dog started barking at us. Obviously, as all well behaved children who want their neighbors to think highly of them do, Josh started barking back. I told him to stop and that he shouldn't aggravate the dog any further. He then said, with his most matter of fact five year old wisdom, "It's okay mommy, I speak dog!" Who knew? Does this mean that he will soon have his own series on Animal Planet? Or maybe he will be traveling around the world doing motivational speaking to neighbors of irritating dogs teaching them better ways to communicate! Of course as all good parents do, I am wondering how we can use this special talent to pay for his college!

In Which We Need an Exorcist....

2007-07-07T09:28:00.000-04:00

It's something you can sense coming. You feel it rising up from the bowels of h*ll. Then suddenly, right there in your own living room, it erupts into a full fledged war! That's right I'm talking about sibling rivalry! I would call it a cat fight but since these girls are related I'll be nice! Why is it that they can't just agree to enjoy the same TV show? Why must they be screaming while their heads spin around and fire shoots out of their eyes ? It's Alice in Wonderland for Pete's sake! You know that sweet film where she eats a magic mushroom and flowers start to sing?......maybe I should be concerned. (Just say NO to magic mushrooms girls.) Apparently, Katy has been waiting "forever" for this movie to come on. I'm confused about this because I'm pretty sure it's been on several times. More than likely she decided it was her "favorite movie" because Meghan said she didn't like Allyson Wonderland (yes just like that). And it is not a good idea to disagree with Katy these days. Can you say preteen hormones? This child once told me she had venomous in her bones! Would you want to get on her bad side? I think not! So I, in my infinite motherly wisdom, told them to knock off the fighting and that Alice in Wonderland was a perfectly good movie for both of them to enjoy! Except now that nails have retracted, and the fire extinguisher has been put away, I have realized that there is a singing, smoking, caterpillar on my TV. Maybe Meghan had the right idea!

Happy Fourth!....

2007-07-04T08:12:00.000-04:00

God Bless America! I hope everyone has a great hot dog eatin', fireworks watchin', good ole fashioned Fourth of July!

Rescued!....

2007-07-02T09:39:00.001-04:00

What do you do when you have two sick children with two doctors appointments at two different doctors in two different towns......scheduled at the same time?!?? You call your mom of course! Some people say it takes a village to raise a child, I think it just takes a mom, a dad and a really awesome NANA! Thanks mom!

What Were We Thinking?....

2007-07-01T09:31:00.000-04:00

After a long day of "Egyptian plagues" (see below), we decided to go to the home improvement store with our four children in tow. You can already see where this is going can't you? Now normally I enjoy doing this because it usually means something is getting...well, improved! But last night was different. For starters, it was 8:00 pm, I know just shoot me right? Two members of our young brood were not feeling well and the other two were doing their usual poking and picking at each other. This made for an irritated set of parents before we even got through the front door! The conversation inside went something like this; Brian: I need to go to lumber. Josh: Can we ride in a car cart? Brian: no. Tyler: I need to look at paint. Katy: I'm going to "help" Tyler look at paint. Me: No, you are coming with us. Brian: We need a square round, and some corner thingys and this that and blah blah blah. (not exactly, but that's what I heard) Josh: This stick is a great sword! Me: Josh put that down it's not a weapon! Josh: I have to go potty. Me: Tyler take Josh to the bathroom. Katy, with a special glint in her eye: I have to go too. Me: Tyler take your sister too and wait for her. Brian: blah, blah blah. Meghan: I think I have a fever (said with much drama). By this time I am frazzled and Brian is in his " project zone". Next thing I know, Katy comes running down the aisle with both brothers chasing her, she slides into the cart and erupts in tears as her brothers slip and fall on top of her. Me: Get up! This is a store not a playground! Katy are you ok? Just stand here and don't move! Brian: This is ridiculous, I've had enough! Enough of what? Sticks and blah, blah?! Me, in a somewhat unpleasant tone: We need to go! Brian, looking rather red faced: grunt, let's go I'll come get the blah, blah,blah tomorrow! So, we all happily exit the store and load into the van. Josh, spotting a fireworks tent: Can, we stop and get some sparklers and bombs?.........

Pharaoh Would Not Be Happy....

2007-06-30T08:26:00.000-04:00

So here's my question. Why wasn't removing wallpaper one of the plagues on Egypt? Yes, I realize it wasn't invented yet but that is beside the point! I mean if you really wanted to convince someone to "let my people go" maybe you should consider this punishment. Moses could have thrown down his staff and Pharaoh's palace could have been instantly covered in flowered wallpaper that is at least 20 years old...you know the kind that your 80 year old grandmother (who suffers from dementia, bless her heart) thinks is "pretty". Then the Egyptians could have been forced to remove it without the help of the Israelites! Ha! That will teach them to enslave God's people! It would be even better if after stripping one layer they discovered another layer of even older, uglier paper. Can you tell what I've been dealing with here people? Don't get me wrong there are some instances when wallpaper can be very attractive, however the stuff in my new house is...well it's just not! I mean what were the previous owners thinking? "Oooh, look at all the pretty pink flowers, let's glue them to the wall!"
At least it's temporary. I know that within the next century I will get all the wallpaper down and have nice, clean, neutrally painted walls. I have to wonder though.....what does God think when He looks at us power seeking, money hungry, Americans who have taken our eyes off of Him? Wallpaper plague? I pray not!

5 Questions....

2007-06-29T16:30:00.000-04:00

Shannon over at Rocks in My Dryer has a fun meme going, so I thought I'd play along!

1. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life what would it be?
I would have to say Peanut Butter...it's nutritious and comes in two varieties, Creamy and Crunchy. Although if I knew how long the rest of my life was actually going to be I might choose something else =)

2. What's the most nerve-racking "'close call" you've ever had?
At the risk of being labeled a bad parent, I would have to say almost leaving Katy at a restaurant while we were on vacation. I know, I know, awful isn't it? She recovered fine, but it still haunts me and I do a much more thorough head count now!

3. Name the five features your ultimate dream house would have.
1. a HUGE front porch 2. A fully loaded kitchen 3. At least 100 acres 4. Chickens 5. A padded room for me to escape to!

4. Who has been the most influential non-relative in your life?
This is a tough one! Most of my influences have been family, but I guess I would have to say my friend Allyson. She has always been there to give it to me straight, or help pick up the pieces when I've been crooked.

5. What one non-physical feature would you most like to change about yourself?
I would have to say my sometimes pessimistic attitude. I tend to be negative, but I want to be positive!

The Hairless Epidemic....

2007-06-29T08:46:00.000-04:00

We have a Golden Retriever that we affectionately call "Ginger". She is a big overstuffed heap of lovin' and we adore her. However, Ginger does have one teeny tiny fault....ok super huge fault (I was trying to be nice). She has allergies. Yes folks you read that correctly, a dog with allergies! Every summer like clockwork her hair starts falling out and she gets all red skinned and itchy. This makes her look like some mangy lab experiment gone wrong! It is truly pitiful to watch. The cure for this of course is a very hefty vet bill involving steroid shots ( just call her Arnold) antibiotics and fancy shmancy medicated shampoo that smells like rotten eggs! Well this year I beat the issue to the punch! At the first sign of impending baldness I had her shaved and brought her inside! Genius I tell you! So now instead of the bad lab experiment she looks like a lion that had a scary run-in with a demon possessed barber! At least now there is nothing for the allergy to "attack" and hopefully we won't have to wash her with bad smelling farm products! It's times like these when I just have to ask it.........Why me?

Sweet Reminiscing....

2007-06-28T08:06:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, some dear friends of ours welcomed their first child into the world. A baby boy, weighing 7 pounds 3 ounces, is now the light of their lives. This is exactly what Tyler weighed when he was born, and of course I started thinking back to when he was first placed in my arms. Sometimes it seems so long ago and sometimes like it was yesterday. Where have the last (almost) 14 years gone?
He has grown up obviously, but some things are still the same. He still has a certain smell. It's not a blend of Dreft and that sweet baby's breath that reminds you of sugar cookies anymore, now it's a more manly smell like too much body spray and a hint of dirty socks. He still has those ice blue eyes that have always melted my heart and will eventually melt others I'm sure. He still loves Jesus, although somewhere along the way he learned to pronounce his J's and doesn't call him Wesus anymore. He's more cool now but this hasn't stopped him from hugging me or telling me he loves me yet. I hope it doesn't. And every once in a while, when no one else is around, he'll snuggle up with me and twirl my hair like he used to as a toddler. Yes, my baby boy, my firstborn, is growing into a man. This is happening faster than I would like, but seeing him mature is also a wonderful thing. And someday, God willing, a child will be placed in his arms, and his breath will be taken away by the overwhelming love he feels for that precious bundle that will someday outgrow him.

Josh on Spider Repellant....

2007-06-25T11:11:00.001-04:00

"Mommy, if we paint our new playground with something shiny, then it will blind the spiders and they won't crawl on it."
The brilliance of this child astounds me! I can see the little pests now with their sunglasses and walking sticks trying to find their way to our backyard. By the way, how many walking sticks would a blind spider need? Hmmm.....something to ponder.

Good Education....

2007-06-25T08:54:00.000-04:00

As a homeschooler and just all around good parent who is concerned about my children's education and upbringing, I am always on the look out for books with some good moral fiber. I borrowed this list from DeeDee over at It Coulda Been Worse (check her out at http://fiddledeedee.net/ ) I'm still chuckling over the titles so I thought I'd share them with you!

Children's Books to Avoid

1. You're Different-And That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
3. Robert: Dad's New Wife
4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5. The Kids Guide to Hitchhiking
6. Kathy Was So Bad that Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
7. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
8. All Cats Go to Hell
9. The Little Sissy that Snitched
10. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
11. Grandpa Gets a Casket
12. Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
13. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
14. Strangers Have the Best Candy
15. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
16. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
17. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
18. Your Nightmares are Real
19. You've Got Hepatitis B, Charlie Brown
20. Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things from Your Nose

Well I'm off to the library now!

What Happened to that Fish?....

2007-06-24T14:59:00.000-04:00

Well, several of you have asked for the fish story so here goes... One happy, sunny day, not to long ago, Josh acquired a fish from his sister for the bargain price of 25 cents. He was very proud of his new found responsibility, and he thought he should clean the fish bowl. So, as I was talking on the phone, Josh came and asked me where the net and extra bowl were. Of course because I am such a wonderful mother I told him to wait a minute and shooed him away. Time passed. I'm not really sure how much time because frankly I forgot he had even asked me! The next thing I know his big sister Meghan, who has the special gift of reporting (or as some people like to call it, tattling), comes running down the stairs to inform me that Josh put his fish in the toothbrush holder! Apparently he had grown tired of waiting on me and decided to take the matter into his own hands. I thought this was a stroke of genius on his part, and was trying to contain my laughter! What fabulous problem solving skills...he must be homeschooled! Meghan did not think this was funny and was actually rather disgusted, and don't even get me started on big sister Katy's reaction when she realized that her toothbrush was still in the holder with the fish! It was quite an exciting event. Needless to say the fish survived and has a clean bowl, Meghan got over her disgust and Katy got a new toothbrush out of the deal. Josh has learned that the toothbrush holder is probably not the safest place to put his fish and I had another lesson in paying attention!
So there it is, the story behind the title of this blog. It just seemed like a perfect fit for our family considering that these types of incidents are rather normal occurrences around here.
p.s. we also replaced the toothbrush holder =)

Clear the Streets....

2007-06-22T15:54:00.000-04:00

Watch out for this guy the next time you're on the street! Josh learned to ride a two wheeler today! It's bittersweet for me....so happy to see him learn....so sad to see him grow up so quickly.

The Messies....

2007-06-22T13:17:00.000-04:00

I have finally come to the realization, after almost 14 years of parenting, that children just don't care what their rooms look like. Oh, I imagine in some tiny corner of the world there is at least one who likes neatness, but they probably are one of those child prodigies who could do mental calculus in the newborn nursery! My children like messiness. For instance, it doesn't bother my 13 year old son that his room smells like a combination of stale food and locker room. My girls think that having a band aid collection hanging on the wall is normal and of course the baby boy of the family is ok with having his toys, clean clothes and dirty clothes all in one container.
How do I feel about all of this you might ask. Well I'll tell ya......it drives me nuts!!!!! I tell them to clean their rooms but that causes other problems because they "discover" things. A chunk of concrete from the church parking lot that is priceless in value, or the snack wrapper with the special online code to win a trip for you and a gazillion friends to go to Disney World. These are the treasures that must be kept no matter how much penicillin is being cultivated on them. So in the end I just resign myself to pretending that there was some kind of nuclear explosion involving Toys R Us and a cake factory behind those doors (which now will remain closed)!

Are We There Yet?....

2007-06-21T13:20:00.000-04:00

Vacation Bible School. Those three little words bring back such fond memories from my childhood! Memories of macaroni necklaces, koolaid and butter cookies with a hole in the middle, and singing Jesus Loves Me until I thought I would pass out. Those are the things that made me look forward to this wondrous event every summer. Then came the days when my own children could also experience the joys of VBS (or as I now affectionately call it "the week of Very Bad Sleep").
I am waiting for the Vacation part to start! Who exactly is going on this vacation and when will we get there? Somewhere along the way I went from Yeah! VBS! to uhhhhh, who are these masses of children with their sweaty faces covered in craft glue? Are these the vacationers? Don't they have chaperones? But then something happens. Those sweaty, gluey, children look up at you with their toothless smiles and tell you how much fun they are having and all the neat things they are learning (like how to wash off fake leprosy) and you realize what you are there for. I can't think of a better vacation than that!

Danger in the Bathroom.....

2007-06-20T15:53:00.000-04:00

What is a mother to do when she is sitting in her bathroom minding her own "business" and a small voice from the other side of the door says in a rather panicked tone..."mommy, you didn't sit on my imaginary friend did you?".
How was I supposed to know he was in there? After all he's not in my imagination.
Oh the guilt!!!!!!!

Working up to it....

2007-06-20T12:14:00.000-04:00

You know how sometimes you have to work up to something big, something so spectacular that it takes months of deliberating and second guessing yourself before you finally decide you should just go for it? Well folks that day has arrived! My "go for it day" is here! That's right...... (drumroll please)...I'm a blogger! Oh please, try to contain yourselves, you don't have to applaud, you're making me blush.
So I will be looking forward to keeping you all abreast of the happenings in our lives, and I know you will all be looking forward to hearing about how the dog got locked in the pantry, why mustard should not be considered as finger paint and what happened to the fish that was put in the toothbrush holder!