A daily journal of our family's crazy hijinks and how this mama of 4 tries to survive them!

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Mmm, Mmm, Good!....

Children have such great insights into the little details of life. Today I fixed Josh and myself a tuna fish sandwich. Josh, being the sweet brother that he is, asked Meghan if she would like one. Meghan quickly informed him that she did not like tuna! Josh then replied with much wisdom and seriousness, "Why not? It's just dead fish!"
My lunch isn't looking so appetizing anymore, but the chuckle I got out of the conversation more than makes up for it!

Monday, July 30, 2007

Busy, Busy, Busy....

My life is a whirlwind of activity lately! It seems that everytime I think it's slowing down something new pops up. I'm sure everyone out there can relate! Our weekend was crazy busy! On Saturday I went to a conference in Nashville. It was a training conference for a new business I want to get into. I'll tell you more about that when it's official. But what was supposed to be a day that was finished by 3:30 or so lasted until 6:30...or so. This was due to running out of gas on the side of the interstate. Funny huh?! Just know that I was not the one driving.
Sunday of course is always busy with church and family. We were so excited to have our dear friends Walter and Carole come for lunch. We hadn't seen them in quite a while.
I was thinking I could take today and just veg, but then I was pulled out of my alternate universe by the pitter patter of little feet running in my room this morning and jumping on my bladder and telling me he wanted breakfast. Why do they always aim for the bladder? It's like some kind of radar! Anyway, no vegging for me except for the 200 servings a day I need to eat to attempt to stay skinny. (I realize that implies that I am already skinny...it's a new form of motivation I'm trying...see yourself skinny!)
We have two children with birthdays this week. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's actually kind of depressing that I am old enough to have these people in my house. Where did they come from and when did they get so sassy? Next week we will have our 15th anniversary! This is also very hard to believe!! The next week we have one more child birthday and one husband birthday. (I know, I only have one husband but I'm going with a theme here) Needless to say August is a busy month in which we have no leftover time or money!! Oh well....at least I'll be skinny!.........

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Please Let Today Be Better....

Yesterday was one of those days. You know, the kind of day when you realize shortly after you get out of bed that you probably should have just stayed there. It started off with our dogs wreaking havoc in their kennel. I will spare you the disgusting details just know it involved a ton of lysol! This "havoc" required that one animal be banished to the great outdoors and the other needed to be shaved and bathed. (She needed a haircut anyway, but that is beside the point) So after an hour of buzzing razors and sudsy fun she was clean, sparkly and smelled oh so sweet. Then she proceeded to go down the stairs, stop half way, get sick and continue on like nothing ever happened. Again, no disgusting details, but this time it required the carpet shampooer and that's all I'll say! At this point I am wondering if I even want to continue living when I walk into my laundry room to find my washer leaking all over the floor. Are you feeling my pain yet? I mean what was going on here? Was this some kind of test of my character, cause I gotta tell ya, I was failing!!
moving on...
So after cleaning all of that stuff up, we settled into some school work we needed to catch up on. Then what to my wondering eyes doth appear? Algebraic equations involving parallelograms and coordinates on a plane. Why don't they just call them squares and dots? I mean really...do you ever go around saying "oh look, the shoe store is in the shape of a parallelogram"? I think not.
Here's another question. Why do small children want to ride their bikes around the neighborhood if they are going to require you to push them up the hills and hold them going down the hills so they don't go to fast? I think it's some sort of unspoken conspiracy on the part of preschoolers to torture tired and dog poop covered mothers!
I have to go eat some chocolate now. I'm stressed out just thinking about what today may bring...

Monday, July 23, 2007

Thank You Mr. Advertising!....

My girls were having a discussion in the car yesterday over what they wanted for their birthdays. They crack me up when they do this because if they think it's something a little too pricey for mom and dad to purchase they resign themselves to "saving up for it". (Even if it is a gazillion dollars) Now given the fact that they are currently 10 and 7, their incomes are not that colossal! Katy wants one of those "I have to have it, it is my favorite thing in the whole wide universe and all my friends have one" items. She saw one online but doesn't want to have to pay shipping (yet fully expects me to!). They were discussing and asking Brian and I where else might carry this particular thing. We suggested several stores and gave them an idea of what it might cost. Then, without missing a beat, Meghan pipes up and says "I think we should just check Walmart. They sell for less." I don't know whether to be grateful to Walmart or throw a rock at my TV. At least they know how to shop for a bargain! Way to go girls...you warm your mama's heart!

Friday, July 20, 2007

Comfort and Joy....

Mary over at Owl Haven is hosting a carnival about memories of your childhood home. Go check it out for some really sweet reads!
When I think about my childhood home there isn't one particular place that comes to mind. We had a couple different homes as I was growing up and each of them holds some unique memories. There was the house on 43rd Ave where we left the sprinklers on all night on Christmas Eve so that the yard would be covered in ice when we woke up the next morning. (This was a pretty exciting thing for a FL girl seeing that a freeze was not necessarily a yearly event) There was the year I was twelve and we lived on the lake. I spent my days barefoot and fishing and watching out for alligators so I wouldn't be taken to the murky depths in their very unpleasant jaws! Then the house on 41 Ct. where Granny lived next door and I learned to drive the mower. (I only did this once or twice so I don't think my parents had alot of faith in me)
All of these houses hold special memories for me, but when I think about why, I realize it's because that is where my family was; in particular it's where my parents were. My mom and dad were a solid rock in my sometimes roller coasterish life. Wherever they were was home! There is something still so comforting about walking into my parents house. Even now as an adult with my own home and family I feel enveloped in love just walking through their door. My dad is no longer with us, but I can still feel his presence there. The pictures and knick knacks that I grew up with are still scattered about and their bed is still the most comfortable in the world! We all have since moved from FL. We still live in the same town though and whenever one of us needs to slip back home for a little comfort and joy mom and dad's house is where we find it.....

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Definitions from a 5 Year Old....

Crooksided: the event in which something is crooked and lopsided at the same time
So far we have had crooksided flip flops, underwear and cookies! I just love childhood!!

House Check!....


In my constant quest for a clutter free home I have had to devise some pretty interesting cleaning tactics. The "clean up" song from Barney used to work well, but for some odd reason my children have grown tired of it! So when the house is looking like a tornado came through, I simply yell two words....HOUSE CHECK! When I say this, the kids know it's time to scramble and get things put away. Often I will try to make it into a game by timing them or offering a reward for who "checked" the most. Other times I will assign each child an area of the house to house check in. This has been a fairly reliable way of getting those wayward toys, socks and other childhood paraphernalia back to their own spots. The kids like it (mostly) and I am not having to hover over them insisting that the little Lego guy does need to join the rest of his block family or that yes, Polly Pocket would be more comfortable if she were wearing her rubber dress!
For more Works-For-Me-Wednesday tips, visit Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Sticks and Stones....



So yesterday, I was helping my friend run some errands. She is a new mom and is still trying to recover from the "birthing experience". I of course jumped at the chance to help her, after all someone needed to hold the baby. I call it my baby holding ministry!

Anyhoo...

As we're standing in the checkout line at Walmart, the cashier looks at me with the little bundle in my arms and says "Is this your first grandchild?" Gasp, sputter, cough, nearly drop the baby! Thankfully before I could say anything that would land me in jail witty, my friend jumped to my rescue, as did the woman behind us in line. The problem is now the damage is done. Look at my picture people! I'm 33 years old and apparently look like I'm 50 or 60 or 300! Surely there must be something wrong with this woman's eyes! Maybe she has cataracts or her glasses were foggy or she had the Ebola virus as a child and it caused her to become the wicked witch of the west have clouded judgement. I don't know what her issues are but now I certainly have some! First thing this morning I have to call and make an appointment for Botox, possibly get some nipping and tucking done and run to Home Depot for a five gallon bucket of spackle for my face! Then I will need to see a therapist!!

I hope that cashier will forever be haunted by the "young lady" in her checkout line that will now be emotionally scarred for life because of her obviously ridiculous comment! Maybe next time she'll just ask me if I'm pregnant!

Well I'm off to Home Depot, they're having a sale on spackle........

Friday, July 13, 2007

LET ME IN!!!....

Home Owners Associations! It's a love hate relationship for most people, I'm just wanting the chance to love or hate them! In our new neighborhood we have a pool, boat dock, ball field, playground and tennis courts. I know, just call Lifestyles of the Fabulously Ghetto Sheik! We are dying to take advantage of some of these things, however there have been some obstacles. First of all, the "person in charge" has his house for sale and apparently has flown the coop. For some reason he is still "in charge" but you can't actually get ahold of him. The number two man is very sweet and would love to take our money, but has no keys to give us right now. I don't know if there's a number three person, but somebody just go unlock the gate!! We're sweating here and have to drive by a nice pool with lounge chairs that I know were put there especially for me, and we can't get in. And what if I needed the boat dock? I realize I do not have a boat, but perhaps Brian will surprise me and bring one home with him today and we won't be able to use it and it will just sit in our driveway looking all shiny and speckled in the sun and the kids will climb on it and break stuff before we even get to use it and this has got to be the longest run-on sentence ever!! I know you can all feel my frustration over this and if you can't, well then I'm not inviting you over to look at my shiny (pretend) boat or swim in my pool with the locked gate! So as of right now I will continue to call the disconnected number of man number one hoping that maybe he moved back and I will beg man number two to go make a key, maybe if I take my hot sweaty children down to his house he will be more sympathetic! I'm sure eventually we will get a key. By that time it will be winter, the pool will be filled with chunks of ice, the lake will be drained thanks to the TVA and their "conservation" efforts and some smart new "person in charge" will go change the lock! Optimistic I am not.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Dog Whisperer....

Yesterday, as we were taking a little jaunt around the block, this cute little rat on acid..ur I mean chihuahua type dog started barking at us. Obviously, as all well behaved children who want their neighbors to think highly of them do, Josh started barking back. I told him to stop and that he shouldn't aggravate the dog any further. He then said, with his most matter of fact five year old wisdom, "It's okay mommy, I speak dog!" Who knew? Does this mean that he will soon have his own series on Animal Planet? Or maybe he will be traveling around the world doing motivational speaking to neighbors of irritating dogs teaching them better ways to communicate! Of course as all good parents do, I am wondering how we can use this special talent to pay for his college!

Saturday, July 7, 2007

In Which We Need an Exorcist....

It's something you can sense coming. You feel it rising up from the bowels of h*ll. Then suddenly, right there in your own living room, it erupts into a full fledged war! That's right I'm talking about sibling rivalry! I would call it a cat fight but since these girls are related I'll be nice! Why is it that they can't just agree to enjoy the same TV show? Why must they be screaming while their heads spin around and fire shoots out of their eyes ? It's Alice in Wonderland for Pete's sake! You know that sweet film where she eats a magic mushroom and flowers start to sing?......maybe I should be concerned. (Just say NO to magic mushrooms girls.) Apparently, Katy has been waiting "forever" for this movie to come on. I'm confused about this because I'm pretty sure it's been on several times. More than likely she decided it was her "favorite movie" because Meghan said she didn't like Allyson Wonderland (yes just like that). And it is not a good idea to disagree with Katy these days. Can you say preteen hormones? This child once told me she had venomous in her bones! Would you want to get on her bad side? I think not! So I, in my infinite motherly wisdom, told them to knock off the fighting and that Alice in Wonderland was a perfectly good movie for both of them to enjoy! Except now that nails have retracted, and the fire extinguisher has been put away, I have realized that there is a singing, smoking, caterpillar on my TV. Maybe Meghan had the right idea!

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Happy Fourth!....


God Bless America! I hope everyone has a great hot dog eatin', fireworks watchin', good ole fashioned Fourth of July!

Monday, July 2, 2007

Rescued!....

What do you do when you have two sick children with two doctors appointments at two different doctors in two different towns......scheduled at the same time?!?? You call your mom of course! Some people say it takes a village to raise a child, I think it just takes a mom, a dad and a really awesome NANA! Thanks mom!

Sunday, July 1, 2007

What Were We Thinking?....

After a long day of "Egyptian plagues" (see below), we decided to go to the home improvement store with our four children in tow. You can already see where this is going can't you? Now normally I enjoy doing this because it usually means something is getting...well, improved! But last night was different. For starters, it was 8:00 pm, I know just shoot me right? Two members of our young brood were not feeling well and the other two were doing their usual poking and picking at each other. This made for an irritated set of parents before we even got through the front door! The conversation inside went something like this; Brian: I need to go to lumber. Josh: Can we ride in a car cart? Brian: no. Tyler: I need to look at paint. Katy: I'm going to "help" Tyler look at paint. Me: No, you are coming with us. Brian: We need a square round, and some corner thingys and this that and blah blah blah. (not exactly, but that's what I heard) Josh: This stick is a great sword! Me: Josh put that down it's not a weapon! Josh: I have to go potty. Me: Tyler take Josh to the bathroom. Katy, with a special glint in her eye: I have to go too. Me: Tyler take your sister too and wait for her. Brian: blah, blah blah. Meghan: I think I have a fever (said with much drama). By this time I am frazzled and Brian is in his " project zone". Next thing I know, Katy comes running down the aisle with both brothers chasing her, she slides into the cart and erupts in tears as her brothers slip and fall on top of her. Me: Get up! This is a store not a playground! Katy are you ok? Just stand here and don't move! Brian: This is ridiculous, I've had enough! Enough of what? Sticks and blah, blah?! Me, in a somewhat unpleasant tone: We need to go! Brian, looking rather red faced: grunt, let's go I'll come get the blah, blah,blah tomorrow! So, we all happily exit the store and load into the van. Josh, spotting a fireworks tent: Can, we stop and get some sparklers and bombs?.........